Accepting People

I remember a time where I would constantly complain about the way people act and why they behave the way they do. It would frustrate me to an extent where I just want to cut them out of my life. My thoughts were always negative towards people I did not get along with; people who I felt took my weakness for granted; people who wouldn’t hear what I had to say. But I have realised that despite the negativity, I must except people for WHO THEY ARE for I am not perfect myself. Lets use God for example. God created us all right? Okay. You may have a friend in your life right now who annoys you to the core. You didn’t like what this person did. Maybe she ignores your texts/calls, or maybe he is constantly on the phone to his ‘best girl friend’. But when you think about it, do you think your mind is causing the problem? Maybe you are taking it too far. You have to ask yourself, is it that deep?

Do not get me wrong here, there are times where we can step on each other toes without having any sympathy because of our frustration towards people. I had a friend who really got to me, and it took me ages to officially let her go. It was a negative stronghold I had to ask God to give me strength to fight off. When you love someone so much, it can be hard to let go, especially when you have developed an intimate relationship with them (whether friendship or relationship). I believe some people are in our lives for a REASON, some for a SEASON and some for a LIFETIME. God will put some people in your life for a reason to help to fulfill your destiny; God will put some people in your life for a season to test your Faith and see how much you fear Him. Alternatively, some are only in your life temporarily to make you realise that you did not need them initially, but were enabling you to come out of your comfort zone. (I thank God for seasonal friendships more than anything else, because it actually proves who is for me and who isn’t – look in the book of Luke 22 where Judas agreed to betray Jesus). Lastly, God will put some people in your life to stay for a long time. These are the people you must cherish and adore i.e. your family members.

Life won’t always work according to your favor, but God is still faithful. People will annoy you, but you still have a responsibility to love them. Remember people are not born being cruel, it is a CHOICE they decided to make that changed them. It all starts in the mind. There may be some family members or friends that may have hurt you, whether it be in the past or at present, but you have the power to let go of it. If God Himself was to treat you according to the way you treat others, you would think He is a bad God, but regardless of what we do, He still finds a way to love us. What a Mighty God we serve! Its time to ACCEPT the unchangeable past, EMBRACE the priceless present, and to HAVE FAITH in the promise of tomorrow. 

Accepting people 2

I may not know what you are going through, I may not know you personally, but find it in your heart to accept people. I know it is hard. But let me challenge you right now. Have you also looked at yourself? Rather than finding faults in others and covering up your own mess, do you think you could be the potential problem as to why people are acting funny towards you? Has it ever occurred to you that people only do what you do to them? When you tell someone you love them, you also show it by purchasing gifts right? Well then. The same applies to them also; they too will shower you with love in buying gifts. See it as an investment: I am investing in a 4 bedroom house in Beckenham that I had my eye on for quite a while. The house is up on the marketing for £465,000, and I am willing to secure the house, so I put down £10,000 to the estate agency. The agency will then contact the owner of the house to inform them of a potential buyer. Seeing that the potential buyer is eager to move out of its current property, the owner now accepts the offer. Now I don’t know about you, but that is a pretty good investment. Although £465,000 is quite a lot to make in a little space of time, the owner trusts me enough to give me the house in advance. So the result is that the owner accepted my offer and now I can start preparing for the remaining £455,000 to complete the house payments. 

LOVE is the greatest command of all. Love involves excepting people for who they are, not choosing them because they are rich or well-known. Whether you know someone who has a disability, or maybe your little brother that snores every night when you are trying to sleep, still love them. They did not choose to be that way. Imagine this world full of LOVE AND UNITY! There wouldn’t be much conflict, not much wars, no more hatred, but now its seems like the world is just getting too self-righteous and proud because everyone wants to be followed; no body wants to lead. I remember talking to my friend about society and the PRESSURE it is placing on our little ones. So many youths of today in the UK competing with each other, putting others down to make them look good, buying things they cannot even afford just to fit in the group. If you do not shut society off, society will shut you off! We need to be very vital as to who we listen to outside. It is not everything someone does you must imitate. Learn to love you for YOU! Please do not get me wrong, this is not as easy as it sounds for some people, but it will help you go a long way in future.

The pain of what a friend or relative can do has severe effects on one’s mind. But remember it will only affect you if you let it. If a friend was to offend me, and I accepted that offence and forgive, I am more likely to be free, but if I keep bringing it up in every conversation, I am still holding a grudge on that person whether I choose to see it that way or not. Even when someone calls the person’s name, I will get so angry, and that is proof that I have not let go. For all I know that friend has expressed itself to me in their honest way possible, but I was so stubborn to accept it because I wanted the friend to know how it felt to be hurt. But who are you to choose when to forgive? Lol! We don’t even know our tomorrow, let alone our today. Some people who find it hard to forgive are going to have a very hard time in life. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not bought, it is a choice to abide by. Accepting people means learning to overlook their flaws and appreciate them as they are, because we can’t do it on our own. We will need His Grace and Strength to let go and forgive.

Accepting people 1

We do not have any right to change people the way we want them to be, because imagine God our Heavenly Father making us feel small when we sin. How would we truly feel? And bear in mind that we sin every day, so it will be twice as worse. Learn to love like God loves, and forgive like God forgives and I guarantee you will be happier than you already are because you will realise that when you make mistakes, they will make mistakes too, so your both even. Accepting people is a beautiful thing. I remember telling God that when He positions me to be in a strong relationship with my husband, I want him to accept me and vise versa. No matter what I had done in my past or how I look or how my body is, I just want him to love me the way I am. And I strongly believe with men, they want the same acceptance. A man adores and respects a woman who respects him. Whether he is tall, short, big, small, it does not matter. Are you marrying the person for his looks or his heart? Do not misunderstand me here, physical appearance is key, but if you think that is all you need in a man and his riches, you are truly not ready to commit yourself in a relationship. Why? Because looks will fade, his possessions will fade. You may not have the power to change how someone looks, but you have the power to accept them as they are. 

So today I challenge you to talk to someone you are struggling with, and be transparent about how you are feeling. Remember your tone is important so ensure that you speak from the heart, and you will see how things will turn around to your favor. 

#AcceptingPeople #LovePeopleTheSameWayYouLoveYouself #IfYouDon’tLoveYourselfYouCan’tLovePepople

Accepting people 3

The Struggle to Surrender

What are you trying to control in your own strength? What is making you so focused on your problem rather than God? Have you ever been in a position where you think you know your life better than anyone else, so you plan what you are going to do in the next five years, then realise you are two steps behind because you were so confident in yourself that you would make it to the next level. Well, this may not be easy for you to take but you cannot do it alone. In 2 Chronicles 7:14 it states; ‘If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land’. If we can honestly humble ourselves and say ‘God I can’t do this without you’ see how He will intervene for you.

Surrender

I would always think my life would be better if I was in control of it. Yes God is invisible, so I thought it’s okay for me to do anything I like right? Ladies, in life, no matter what we have planned, whether it is preparing for a new job, working in the ministry group, setting up your own business, starting a new relationship, getting married; all these must be surrendered to the Most High. If I may ask, why do you feel the need to do everything on your own? Why do you want to carry that heavy burden that is making you bitter? Could it be pride that has got into you? So many of us have come to a point where we don’t even want anyone to help them.

I remember a time I had a conversation with my friend wanted me to go somewhere with her, not realizing that I was already out. I suggested another week, and all she said was “It is okay, don’t worry”. I don’t know about you, but do you feel drained when you hear certain people’s names? I mean it really gets on your nerves doesn’t it? When you know your heart towards someone is genuine and they are not showing it back, it can hurt. This year I told God that I won’t allow anyone to get to me, because I know what I had to go through in my past to get me where I am today. What have you been struggling with that has helped you become the strong woman you are today? If I decided to wallow in self-pity and bitterness, I don’t believe I would be in the position I’m in. Please do not get me wrong, it is not always easy to cut people out of our lives, I tell you that. It just felt like a STRONG-HOLD that was pulling me back and keeping me silent. Every time I try to rise above it all, something will just pull me back quick, and I would say “where is God” not knowing that all the while He was strengthening me in my dark situations.

Now I do not know what you may be passing through, but I can confidently say that when you surrender ALL your problems, not some, not few, not half, but all your concerns and anxieties to God, He will be there for you. A really dear friend of mine sent me a message and it reads:

“God was speaking to me saying that even though we aren’t perfect, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves to always get things right because we will make mistakes. But what He wants is more of our time and effort. We should keep on improving but not burdening ourselves to always expect to get things right. Yes we see our faults, but life has no instruction manual but we have the BIBLE and our ancestors stories of their trials and tribulations e.g. Jonah, Job, Hannah, Sarah, Moses to name a few. We can continue to pick faults but we will continue to make mistakes. But once your heart is genuine and obedient to Him, He will not see you any less. He loves you so much and can see how hard you are trying. But applying pressure to change can be damaging when done wrong. Acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them and move on”. 

When I read this, all I could do was ponder on the times where I was so hard on my self think that I would never amount to anything. I thought that I could cover my mistakes and get away with it, not knowing that God already knew my mistakes even before I created it. Ladies, not matter how we try to cover up our faults, they will always be known to God. However, the good thing is that He refuses to allow us to stay in the mess. I don’t know what is stopping you from giving your all to God; maybe it’s an addiction, a partner, junk food, smoking, but all these things won’t give you joy. I was struggling to stop wearing make-up ladies, I tell you, it was a struggle, until I realised that behind it all, God loved me regardless!

I left my house without make-up last week with my mum and sister and felt so great!! It is an amazing feeling when you can surrender your problems to God for Him to help you. So I ask you today, what is your concern? What is your desperate cry about? Why are you finding it so hard to let go? I know for some of us, it could be our partners. We are so used to our partners that anything they say or do to us, we agree with them, because they should be ‘in charge’. Point of correction, God is in charge. Any woman that allows a man to treat her anyhow is on thin ice! It is important as women to know our worth and know who we are in The Lord. Why have you attached yourself so much to a man who is not helping you to become a better woman? The struggle to surrender is real ladies I tell you, but the real challenge is; ARE YOU WILLING TO SURRENDER YOUR OWN WILL? 

Trying to fight your way out of a problem without giving it to God is like eating junk food and saying you want to attend the gym to burn it off. You will still look the same, if not put on more weight without realizing it. Ladies, do not be deceived, God is not to be mocked. When a man can disrespect you, God will elevate you, when a man assumes things about you, God will remind you how precious you are to Him, when you feel lonely from a difficult break-up, God will be the one comforting you. It is my heart’s cry that we all learn to surrender everything to God. We cannot wait for everything to work our way before we remember God because we are putting Him in second place if we do that. Give God your all, try Him and He will sustain you. Remember you have to let go of the life you pictured in order to have the life that God has planned. Some key points to consider:

  • Are you struggling with your prayer life?
  • What is stopping you from letting go of your plans for Gods plans?
  • Surrender it all- stop trying and start resting.
  • Some decisions cannot be undone until you fully surrender it all.
  • Are you living a selfish life?
  • Let go and let God
  • Not your will but His will.
  • When surrendering, do you still feel confused about where He is taking you?

Surrender 2

Ladies, if you would like to talk about anything you are struggling with, kindly contact me via my blog. I will be glad to help and support you :).

Surrender 1

God is listening

All I can hear is crying. I feel the anxiety getting deeper. I feel somewhat confused, so alone, don’t know how to pick myself up. What can I do to fill my emptiness? Have you ever felt like God isn’t listening to you? He feels so distant. You wake up one morning and all you think about is how your going to start your day. Sometimes, because we are so busy with our lives, we don’t even acknowledge His presence and to thank Him for each new day.


The power of prayer is in your mouth. Prayer is not a check request for things from God. It is a deposit slip – a way of depositing God’s character into our bankrupt souls.


 

When speaking to God, you must ensure that you are in the secret place where you cannot be distracted by anything or anyone. Why do some of us feel as if God is not listening? Could it be that we have put God in our ‘own box’ or we try to fit Him in our schedule? Has it ever occurred to you how sometimes God can be so silent in your tight places. Yes it does happen, but it doesn’t mean that He doesn’t love you. When it comes to the silent treatment, its Gods way of pushing you out of your pain. It’s a way of communicate with God on another level. For example, when a woman prepares to give birth, the process becomes easy; eventually when she is due, the woman will start to feel certain contractions. It could also be caused by the kicking of the baby in the tummy. Lets take a deeper look. The baby in the tummy gets bigger as the days go by, so the baby will use all its strength to fight to get out of the mothers tummy because it is in an uncomfortable environment. If the mother is not yet able to conceive, the baby will eventually become restless.

Sometimes when God put a hold on you, it does not mean that He has abandoned you. It doesn’t mean that He is not listening. It’s just that you are not yet ready to come out. The only way the woman will know when she is ready is when the contractions are more intense. You will know when God is speaking to you when things get so difficult that you can admit that you can’t handle what you are going through. In life, we sometimes have to be honest with one another and express the pain your going through. It is no good keeping it to yourself, thinking that it will go away. The problems you face won’t always go away, but when you share it with someone you trust, and they listen to you, both of you can work together to fight the issue.

Your uncomfortable places are the areas in your lives that God tests. He won’t test when you have got everything together. He is God of all your plans. When you try plan your life, God will come in and disrupt, just to show you that He is God over your life, and only He can plan where you are going in the near future. To encourage you all, be reminded that we only have a few days until this year is over. What have you achieved? What have you learnt from this year? Has this year taught you how to seek God, or do you think it has drawn you away from God? No matter your situation, God listens!! The only person that can make it difficult is you! You have a choice to control your mind! You have a choice to agree with Gods word and His promises over your life! 2 Corinthians 1:20 says “For as many as the promises of God, they all find their Yes in Him. For this reason we also utter the Amen to God through Him to the Glory of God”. Gods promises over your life are yes and AMEN! Amen is to seal and agree with what the Word of God has said over your life. His promise to you today is that HE IS LISTENING!

You cannot be a strong Christian and doubt that God isn’t listening to you. You have to come out of your feeble mind and ask Him to exchange your unbelief into Faith! Before you even open your mouth, God already knows what you are about to say. Sometimes we don’t even need to constantly keep nagging God about our problems, because He knows them all. We can humble ourselves and remind Him, but not complaining and stressing about it. Instead, why not ask Him how to handle the situation, rather than telling Him to take it away. Remember, we can’t put God in a position where we expect Him to do all the work. We also have to work hard for ourselves. When you are sitting for an exam, the invigilator doesn’t speak. That is exactly how God is. Invigilators only walk around; you hardly have time to look at them because they are focusing on everyone in the exam hall.


 

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. 


Ladies, we must ensure that when speaking to God, we also need to hear Gods voice and listen to Him. It is not always about getting a response from Him, expecting Him to come at our time of need. In order to gain more peace in our lives, we must be willing to listen more and speak less. When you allow God to speak to you, you are inviting His presence in your life, the peace that surpasses all human understanding, and a calm mind. No matter how upset, frustrated, stressed or anxious you feel, know that God is listening and cares so much! The quieter you become, the more you can hear.

listening

Esther.

December 2014: The Month Of Reflection

Greetings to you all. I just want to take this opportunity to thank God first who has given me the vision to conduct a women’s ministry group, and for everyone who has supported this ministry; for those I know and do not know yet, God richly bless you! Women’s lives are being changed! I am receiving great and encouraging messages from a couple of people, and I can only give God the praise for that. That aside, I want to speak to you regarding this month of DECEMBER. We have seen how great God has been throughout the past 11 months, but December to me, is a month of reflection; it is a time to meditate on the things God has done for you, the pain you went through in this year, what mistakes you have made and how you learnt from them, what impact you made towards other people, and what you can do to become a better individual in 2015.


 

December is a month where we have to analyse our selves; what are the decisions we aim to make towards a better 2015..How can we be effective and powerful towards our generation? How can we become more committed and deeply intimate with Christ? When reflecting, it is important to position your mindset positively, knowing that 2015 won’t be the same as 2014. What mistakes have you made this year that you refuse to take it with you into 2015? Be honest with yourself. We have to know what our strengths and weaknesses are in order to have a better 2015. We must use our strengths to overcome our weaknesses. Let this month be a time to also thank God for all the things He has done; for all the opened and closed doors, all the laughter and tears, the quiet and lonely moments, it is all working out for our good!

How can we make an impact towards our generation? This could be the month in which we make good decisions on how we can help others. It is important that we have a passion to help others, although we need to help ourselves, helping others will enable God to meet all our needs in due season. We won’t have to worry about anything, but trust that God has already ordered our steps. What could you do to improve yourself? How can you bring influence onto your generation? Rather than listing all the things you desire in 2015, let this remaining month be a time to renew your relationship with God, and to allow Him to use you in a way that you have never been used before.

Entering into 2015 must start with a positive mindset! We cannot wait until it reaches 12:00am 01st January 2015 until we decide to be happy. Being happy starts from within, It starts now! Even though you did not obtain all you desired this year, it is now an opportunity to trust that God will answer your needs according to the amount of Faith you have. What is is that you desire from God in 2015?


 

Some of the thoughts that run through our mind may consist of:

  • Having a personal intimate relationship with God.
  • Having low self-esteem and unbelief.

  • Feeling insecure and lonely.

  • Trying to imitate somebody else.

  • Trying to find joy in worldly things.

  • Lack of Faith and doubt for the future.

  • Suffering from your past experiences.

  • Not knowing your calling… (Will continue this in January)

All these things we have been through or is currently going through, but I strongly believe that in this last month, if we all make a decision that we will lay aside all our burdens, to keep our focus on Christ, and to help this generation for the better, we will see the Glory of God manifest in our lives. Christmas is also around the corner. We can use this as an opportunity to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the lost, to buy gifts for people you wouldn’t usually buy gifts for, and to be a support to your neighborhood. There are so many ways in which we can be a blessing! Remember that Jesus is the reason for the season, so we must be reminded that we are living for Him and not for ourselves.


 

As we prepare to enter into a new year very soon, I pray that those who have been encouraged by this ministry will continue to grow in the Lord and to make a positive impact towards others. If it is a desire to travel, to set up a business, to pass your driving test, to find a job, all these can be yours if you renew your mind. There is nothing that God cannot do, because He said that as we seek Him first, all other things shall be added unto us. Remember we are a chosen generation called forth to show His excellence! We must know who we are in Christ to have a successful 2015! #ThinkBig #ActBig #MoveBig #2015 #GreaterThingsAreComing!

Be blessed.

Esther

Founder of the WWCG.

Think Big…Dream Big…2015 is your year!

The ‘H’ Factor

If you are wondering what the ‘H’ letter stands for, it represents “HAPPINESS!”. If somebody were to ask you “What is happiness to you?”, how would you respond? Some people define happiness as having enough possessions such as money, clothing, food, shelter, fame etc. All these things are good, do not get me wrong, but is there a limit? How can you define happiness with all these things? Wouldn’t you assume that you want more? Happiness in my own opinion is “being content with what you already have, and using it to the best of your ability”. It is easier said than done, believe me I have been there! Being happy also enables us to have good health, and lower blood levels according to John Partingdon (2014). What makes you happy? Having things can make you happy, but they are just temporal. I remember in my secondary school days, we made scooby doo key rings. You could twist them into any shape and design that you like. It was so fun, until it started to come out of fashion. What am I trying to say? The things of the world are more inclined to come out of fashion; you just won’t be able to keep up. Does that mean we should stress about it? Not at all.

Finances are on your neck, and you need it to pay bills, debts, school fees etc. Yes these are all important, but are you going to stay miserable until the money comes, or will you decide to be happy regardless of the situation? As I always say to my friends “YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!”. Your happiness comes first! If you are not happy, you spread it towards others. One rotten apple spoils a dozen of other apples in the basket. You could be the one to encourage, yet feel so down and disheartened. You can be happy one day, and the next day you are resentful. Believe me it happens. You would be surprised at the amount of people you know that are so kind and compassionate, and another day you’ll be thinking is it the same person I met a few days ago…

Everyone has ups and downs. We are all aware of that…but do not allow what you are going through to pull you down or make you lose your focus. When you make others happy, not only will your life be happy, but God Himself will be happy with you, and eventually, the blessings will start to unfold. Lets wake up every morning knowing that THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, AND WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT! We must always have in mind that it is Gods Grace that keeps us alive and well every day, so it is an opportunity to make the most of the day! The two words that are vital are “Rejoice” and “Glad”. Together, they contribute to “Happiness”! In all things, find one thing and be happy about it!

Even when you are facing hard times, see it as an opportunity that through every opposition, there will be a blessing involved! We are all at testing times, but we must not allow the testing times to define our state of heart and mind. You are the one who controls your happiness. You cannot give anybody the full satisfaction of telling you when to be happy, when to be sad, when to be miserable. We all have our own lives to live. So if you know anyone that is having a hard time to be happy, check yourself first, before you speak to that person, because when your happy, they also are more inclined to listen to what you have to say. So I ask, do you have the ‘H’ Factor?

Remember; happiness is not about collecting material things or beautiful memories, it is about having a deep feeling of contentment and knowing that life is a blessing! For more information on contentment, please refer to my previous blog “Are you Content?”

So I ask: Do you have the ‘H’ factor?

Happiness