You have to hate Jealousy

Jealousy 1

Today I want to talk to you about the importance of being content with what you have and how you can use it effectively. Most times in our society today, we strive reach a certain level of success to make us ‘look’ successful, for example, the clothes we wear that we cannot afford, the cars we buy to impress people, the group we surround ourselves in to feel a part of something. Some of us today are so eager to make money for our own benefit and for the praises of man. On the other hand, there are some who don’t have it all but know how to manage the little they have because they know what it feels to not have anything. It can be easy to hate on someone for having it all, but why waste your time doing that?

Sometimes I wonder why those who have the least do the most with what they have, and those who have the most demand more. It’s quite ironic! Aside this, I want to shift your focus on the word ‘jealousy’ and its definition. From several experiences some of us have encountered, we know what human jealousy is; Jealousy is commonly understood as “resentment against a person for having or enjoying what we think should be our own”. When we build this type of mindset, it encourages bitterness and anger towards someone. When jealousy tries to kick in, I remind myself of the fact that I’ll never know what my neighbor had to go through to get what they have.

I remember a dear friend of mine kept telling me that; “until you understand my pain, you would never understand my praise”. It is a powerful statement because a lot of us today underestimate ones pain, thinking they are having the time of their lives, but secretly they are tired of pretending and just want someone to be there for them. Have you ever felt like that? Some are afraid to reveal their pain to others for fear they would discuss the issues with other people. This should not be so, because God takes it very personal in the way we treat each other.

You have a friend that could be jealous of the way God keeps blessing them, and you are wondering why nothing is happening to you. Instead of being angry at God and jealous of your friend, go into your secret place and SEEK HIM DILIGENTLY. Anything you ask for shall be granted in His Name AND according to His Will. I do not know anyone that has received everything they wanted without struggle and when it was convenient for them. Only God knows how to bless each of us in His own time, but being jealous of someone else’s blessings can delay your own because your mind should not be focused on the blessing of your neighbor, instead we should be expectant knowing that God has already done it.

Let us look at the story of Hannah and Penninah in 1 Samuel chapter 1 (study the whole chapter in your own time). Hannah was barren and could not give birth, however Penninah was able to conceive. Penninah took advantage of Hannah’s situation, but guess what Hannah done? She went into her secret place and prayed to God to answer her prayer. From a human perspective, Hannah could have retaliated and questioned Penninah’s bitterness against her, but instead she was mature enough to ignore the criticism to seek God. I know it was not easy for Hannah at all, but one thing that occurred to me as I was studying 1 Samuel is that Hannah’s husband Elkenah loved Hannah regardless of her condition. I know some men would have run away from it, but instead he stood by her side, and to me that shows humility.

I know it would not be easy for some of us, but those who are Spiritually Mature would have handled the situation Hannah’s way, and for this reason she was able to give birth to Samuel because of her humility and consistent prayer. Sometimes, when you sense jealousy trying to attack you or get the best of you, the best way to handle it is through prayer and confession. You cannot deal with it in your flesh because fighting on your own will only lead to defeat. Even when people try to make you look small, do not give in; instead find your secret place and pour your heart out to Him. This is a brief message for us all to remind ourselves that no matter our situation, we have every right to be content with what we have and use it to glorify God.

This year is nearly over! I would not want any of you entering in 2016 with a bitter heart towards anyone. Whether your friend got a better job that you, celebrate with her because one day when God blesses you, you would want people to celebrate. Remember how you treat people is a high concern in the eyes of God. He does not want us to live miserable lives, but to enjoy every minute we have on this earth, and learn to keep seeking God for your own blessings. He will grant anything you ask for if you just humble yourself. Remember we all have 24 hours in a day so use your time wisely!

Love who you are ladies! You are so uniquely special!






How To Stop Worrying About Your Problems

I’ve always been very good at math. It was my favorite subject. The concepts came to me easily and as a result I was prompted by my math teacher to take a class that not many did called additional math. On my first homework submission, he gave me a poor grade. I confronted him because I was sure my answers were right. He told me that indeed they were but that I didn’t show my work, I didn’t reveal to him the process by which I came to the answers. I was annoyed. “It’s not fair” I said, after all I had got the right answers, wasn’t that the point. He told me that actually it was not, he explained that getting the right results doesn’t necessarily mean you understand the right process.

Once you have really learnt how to process the information properly then you will always get the right result, so in his class he focused on the process.
This is the same principle that we can apply to life. Sometimes we find ourselves going to and from looking for what we consider the right result, but we have not stopped to consider the process. Given the proliferation of false churches home and abroad; this man of god and that one promising to make your problems go away and provide the answer to your needs, it leads me to think that we have become very results oriented. As long as we get what looks like the right answer, we don’t care about the process by which it comes.

Problems in life, much like problems in math are meant to increase you; Increase your knowledge, understanding, wisdom. They make you better. God is always God. His strength is unmatched. He created the universe and everything in it, so do you think your problem is too difficult for him? Certainly not, but I have come to believe He is focused on the process. Consider the children of Israel who wandered in the wilderness for forty years. When God delivered them it was with great signs and wonders. He parted the Red Sea, sent manna from heaven and more, yet they wandered. He could have probably spirited them all to the Promised Land if He so chose, but they needed to go through the process in order to grow and transform.
Sometimes the process seems to suck. I mean I’ll be frank. It is hard work.

Sometimes you need to feel pain, sometimes even shame. It is not always easy, you may have to work and rework your approach to it, but it is necessary. When a pupa is being transformed into a butterfly, I wonder if it hurts. We have all heard the term growing pains. This life is not about having the most money, the best marriage, wonderful kids and more, those are all just perks and if that is all life is what a passive life, we might as well never leave the baby phase.

The real deal about the life we lead is transformation, becoming more who we are meant to be, so that we can actually recognize and fulfill the purpose for which we were born. Right now I am in the midst of a process; it is no fun at all. I am a crier so I have had moments when the tears fell and I remember going to God and saying “Enough, you said you won’t give me more than I can bear” and My heavenly father responded patiently, “my daughter, you have much growing to do, (so suck it up, you have the strength inside of you, besides I am with you always!)

I am always wary of the concept that you have to force your answers down from heaven, so that if you haven’t got what you want it’s because you haven’t prayed or fasted enough. By all means pray, it is imperative that we do so. I believe that it is not only about telling God what we need, but hearing from Him and connecting to Him, it’s about learning how to be still and how to walk with Him.

By all means fast. That is teaching you how to feed your spirit and not just your flesh. It is teaching you how to bring some things in your life under submission. As I write this I recognize that I have to bring some emotions under submission in my life even now. I get angry too easily and I feel hurt too often. I need to learn to stop, pray and then act, too often I do it backwards by acting, then stopping and finally praying, by then life is invariably in a big mess but thank God for God, He is always there fixing all the broken things just the same and if I haven’t learned my lesson, he gives me the same homework in a different way, so that I can understand the process.

In life we will not always get what we want and in fact bad things may happen to us. Problems like storms are sure to come. It is the natural order of things, just like the rains have to come for the land to produce life; challenges have to come in order for us to produce our best selves. So when a problem comes, yes pray, fast but also take some time for introspection. Let us ask ourselves if there is something to be learned here, something that can add to our growth. Let us not spend so much time ascribing blame to “our enemies”. I was thinking about how Christ asked us to pray for and bless our enemies and I wondered why if someone is the source of torment for us that we must still bless them. Then it hit me, Jesus is more concerned with who we are and who we become, what happens to them is of less consequence. As we pray for our enemies we become transformed and that my dears is the bottom line.

So, if you’re in the midst of a storm, stop worrying. It will pass. It always does. The question you need to ask yourself is “do you understand the process?”


stop worrying

Why does life seem so unfair?



Ladies, we need to be aware of the fact that Gods timing is PERFECT! Blessings can only be delayed, but they CANNOT be denied! Remember Habakkuk 2 verse 3: “For the vision is yet for an appointed time, and it hastens to the end fulfillment; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, because it will surely come. It will not be behindhand on its appointed day”.

It must be a constant remind for you and I to believe that God has a plan and will fulfill in when He says so. We should not be waking up every blessed morning trying to plan our day and what we are going to be doing, without firstly having a conversation with God. It should be a priority to speak with God in the morning before anything else, because you are more likely to hear His voice relative to your own. One thing that I realised was not pleasing to God was putting Him second place. I used to always check my phone to see who had called or text me and would use all of my time on my phone, and wondered why God did not hear my prayers. Maybe it was because I was too focused on what ‘I’ wanted to do, that I blocked Him out. Ask yourself, what are you placing before God that you need to give it to Him?

I was speaking to a dear friend of mine and he was telling me that he needed encouragement. So with the help of God, I encouraged him by referring to certain scriptures that would uplift him. Sometimes in life, some people just need you to be there for them, sometime to cry to, someone to lean on. He had the interview, and the next day, he informed me that he did not get the job. I related to him very well, because it was a situation where I also poured out my heart to him and was able to explain my experience of the job search to him. It’s good to also speak to someone who has also been in a similar or the same situation as you, because usually, I find it quite difficult speaking with someone who doesn’t understand my pain. So I referred him to Habakkuk 2 v 3 (stated above) and reminded him that everything we desire will come at Gods appointed time! So if you know someone at the moment who feels like giving up, saying in their mind that life is unfair, or you sense someone you love wanting to commit suicide, please use this scripture to remind them not only of Gods love, but the timing that God has for everything to blossom will come in due season!

I believe that worrying is wasting energy on the things you can’t control. Leave everything in God’s hands. This less; pray more! If we always can remember to have this sort of mindset where, instead of worrying, we pray, we shall surely see better things in our lives. We will be more happy, more grateful, more thankful, and most importantly; to praise Him! We need to be reminded that sometimes, when life is falling apart and everything seems to be going wrong, WAIT FOR IT! God has a plan bigger and greater than you think! We can invite more peace in our lives by being PATIENT! Not by comparing or contrasting other people against who we are, or what they have and what we do not have. But really taking the initiative to allow God to have His way in our lives, to help us to believe that when some things fall apart, it is a sign that it will get better. God will make some situations in your life uncomfortable. You may have to come out of your comfort zone and do some things you would not expect, just for Gods Glory. You may not understand it now, but remind yourself of this; ‘WHEN YOU ARE IN AN EXAM, THE INVIGILATOR IS ALWAYS QUITE DURING THE TEST’. We can apply this context to God. When you are under pressure, just remember that God will be quiet, until the exam is over.

The thing with us Christians of nowadays is that God has never stopped being good; we have just stopped being grateful. This now brings me to my focus on ‘life being unfair’. Life has always been fair. It has always been fair when God gave you and I life, when He saw us through our day-to-day lives, when He provided us shelter, food and clothing, when He allowed us to brush our teeth and how our baths, and the list goes on. What makes life seem so unfair in our eyes is the way the world perceives life. So what if we are not earning £1,800 every month, does that mean that life is not fair? I always have this feeling in my mind that someone who earns less than £500 a month can be classified as wise, relative to those who earn more. Why? Because when you earn more money, you may be tempted to spend most of it on yourself. Not only that, you are more likely to demand more. But for those who do not earn even up to £500, you will be wise to know what to spend and not want to spend. You will humble yourself and thank God for the little you have because you knew how it felt to have nothing before.

Everyone’s eyes are perceived differently. So for someone, £1,800 may not be enough because you demand more or you feel that it is not satisfactory for you, but £300 will make someone else become content because it remind themselves of when they knew how it felt to be broke. This is why we should position our mindsets on things above and not beneath. Humble yourself or life will do it for you because slow progress IS PROGRESS! It may feel like nothing is happening, but God is working for the good of those who love Him! (Romans 8 v 28). If you are constantly struggling with life, ask God to help your unbelief and to increase your FAITH!

Do not let life define you by your downfalls, secret struggles, tears and sorrows, but be expectant that Gods plan for your life is for good and not of evil! (Jeremiah 29 verse 11). Your latter days will be greater than your former days! At least that is something to smile about 🙂

A quick prayer: Dear God, I keep becoming more and more bitter. My anger and frustrations keep building up inside of me. I know life is not always fair and everyone has trials and tribulations along the way, but I can’t find my way out of this jumbled mess…I need you to fill me with peace and soften my heart to make me whole again.