Stop Pitying Yourself!


Why bother? Why stress about it? Is it going to bring it back? Do you think it is helping you to better yourself? Sometimes as we ponder upon our lives, we tend to look back and dwell on the things that has happened, what we could have done to prevent something from happening, and how we could have made ourselves better people. Take a look at your life now. Look at how far you have come within these past months of 2014. It is a few more weeks until we see 2014 no more. How have you spent your life within these months? Is it feeling sorry for yourself, or doubting your ability to become better than you were a year ago, or competing with others?

Self-pity leads to self-destruction. Our enemy Satan prowls around like a roaring lion seeking those who he wants to devour. Our lives are in the precious hands of our Lord Jesus Christ, and we must remember that as women of the most high, we must walk with dignity and self-esteem. When you wake up in the mirror, tell yourself that YOU ARE ROYALTY!

There will be times where you will reflect back on your life, and tears will roll down your eyes. Sometimes you won’t even know what made you cry in the first place…other moments can be when you planned something, and it didn’t go your way when you expected it. You thought in January 2014 that you would be in a better position, but you still ‘feel’ stuck in the same place. I came to tell you that it is a lie! You have progressed, because small progress is better than NO PROGRESS at all. But can I ask you something? What is progress to you? Is it buying the latest outfits, buying the best car that your money can’t even afford, trying to be someone else when you don’t even realise your own unique worth?

In this societal world we live in, we are prone to being ‘self-centered’. We want to better ourselves. Yes it is a good thing. We want to be independent, we want to dream big, live big and even so, eat big! But we must remind ourselves that life is not our own. God did not only create us to think of ourselves, but He called us to become FRUITFUL and multiply! When God gives you a gift, a car, a talent, a job, a promotion, a house, He wants you to use all these blessings to help someone else! As you continue to set your mind on helping others, all your problems and worries, God will take care of. Trust Him on that!

Self-pity on the other hand causes us to sulk and obsess over our hurts. At the heart of self-pity is a disagreement with God over how life and He has treated us. God has not treated us any less than we think. Just because He did not bless you when you wanted Him to, doesn’t justify the fact that He should still be first in your life. Regardless of how you feel today, know that God has got a plan for each and every one of us. I want to challenge you with this ladies:

“The biggest clue that self-pity is not of God is the word ‘self'”.

Anytime we are focused on ourselves, we draw away the presence of God. Your mind is saying “Its all about me now. I have had enough helping people. Every time I give a helping hand I never get anything back”. Yes we can feel this way at times, but if we continue to have this negative mindset, not only are you killing your spirit, but you are killing the environment that you dwell in, that can therefore have an impact on your relationships between family, intimate ones and friends. Imagine waking up to messages from your loved ones saying they don’t want to associate themselves with you. How would you feel? This could be a wake up call to someone. The way we treat others should always be aligned to Gods will. When talking to your loved ones, ask the Holy Spirit to guide what comes out of your mouth, so that you won’t offend one another. Ensure that they are encouraging, uplifting, and motivating.

When Self is dominant, God is not. It can be seen that we, in effect, have become our own god. C. S. Lewis put it this way: “The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first. This includes wanting to be the center, wanting your way all the time. That was the sin of Satan; and that was the sin he taught the human race.”

Up to now so many people are fighting what they can’t handle because they are taking every responsibility they face into their own hands. Others turn to drugs, alcohol, possessions etc. Self-confidence, self-seeking, self-admiration, self-indulgence, self-absorption, and self-love are all symptoms of a fleshly nature that has not yet been fully surrendered to Jesus. If we continue to live this way, we will think we know better for our lives, when it says in His Word that without God we can do nothing, but with Him all things are possible!

When we indulge in self-pity, we have elevated our importance in our own eyes. In Romans 12:3 it says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.” I am not saying that you should belittle yourself, but when we are thinking too highly of ourselves, we  eventually invite life’s hurts and injustices to dictate our emotional state. This is why some people don’t get along with others. When people are excelling, you are hating on them. Why? Because you have chosen not to forgive yourself from self-pity, but you have allowed bitterness to enter into your heart. 1 Thessalonians 5:18-19 tells us that we are not to quench the Holy Spirit.” In other words, we should not grieve the Holy Spirit, but instead, to give thanks in everything. It is impossible to give thanks while clinging to self-pity, because, by definition, a self-indulgent attitude is not focused on gratitude to others. Self-pity cannot be thankful at all for what God has allowed.

I had a revelation this week about where I am in my life, and once I received it, my mind positioned me to think more about others, particularly in this last month of 2014! I encourage you ladies, as we enter into a new year, let our minds be plugged into helping other people. Yes we have needs, we have wants, we have desires, but let us be strongly reminded that we have a God who knows ALL OUR NEEDS even before we open our mouths. He knows our tears, He sees our pain, He sees our silent struggles. But this does not give us the opportunity to sit in doubt and fear worrying about what tomorrow brings, because when you choose to praise God in your hardest moments, He will pour out a blessing that we won’t even have enough room to receive! (Malachi 3:10).

When we reject the impulse to feel sorry for ourselves, it will become an easier process as life goes on. Life provides many opportunities to experience rejection, injustice, and the cruelty of man, because initially, the heart of man is wicked. Our natural response to all this is self-protection, which often results in self-pity. However, we can choose to walk by the Spirit, and make a conscious decision not gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16). We can also refuse to indulge into our sinful natures and choose a grateful heart, trusting that “It is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose”. (Philippians 2:13). We can look at every opportunity to indulge in self-pity as a chance to defeat that old nature. Instead, we can choose to trust that “God will work everything for the good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

A brief reminder: When you pray, instead of asking God what you want Him to do for you, ask Him what He wants you to do for Him. Try it, and you will see how God will work wonders in your life. Your prayer life is important to God. He will definitely answer. Put Gods needs first, and He will surprise you! He won’t always be specific on when to bless you, but He will ALWAYS be on time!