Hey everyone, hope you are all well? So today I am going to be speaking about my journey, since the day I graduated up till now. A lot has happened to me between the past few years between 2013 till now. 2013 was the year where I did not understand the purpose God had for me. I had a glimpse of it, but was still confused because of my environment; my own personal desires being met at a specific time frame, being able to enjoy my life without any restrictions, having the wrong set of friends around me. It was not an easy ride I tell you. My emotions were messed up, I kept being taken for granted, I just didn’t see the value Christ saw in me.
In my previous blog posts, you will see the consistency of my outpouring and transparency of how I graduated in 2013 and was in the process of constantly looking for jobs. I honestly thought life was meant to be like: (1) Primary School –> (2) Secondary School –> (3) College/Sixth Form –> (4) University/Masters (Optional) –> (5) Full time Job or Work Placement.
I was stuck in the middle between doing a Master’s Degree or just finding a job that was related to my field. Ladies, THE STRUGGLE WAS REAL! As the years went by, I stepped into 2014. I made some decisions as to what I wanted God to do for me and what He wanted me to do for Him. I even remember telling God that I would give a £10 offering on the first week in January to secure me a job that I applied for. But you see, the thing about God is that he doesn’t need our money! We do not need to bribe God with what is already His. When I put the £10 in the offering bowl, I kept my head high, walked in confidence and had my interview. To no avail. July 2014 came, and it was a year that I still was not able to secure a job, as I graduated last year July 2013.
You see, I do things differently. I always try to compare each years’ performance, but it just seemed that my life was not going anywhere special. Then frustration kicked in. What I decided to do was just cry it all out thinking that it would go away, but no it continued to get worse and worse. I had lots of breakouts, hardly any friends to encourage or support me, I just felt like giving up. It was all too much for me because no-one really understood the pain I went through, and what pains me the most is that “No-one really knows how much the oil costs in your alabaster box”. In other words, no-one knows the intensity and frustration of your pain behind closed doors. It was only GOD who knew the anger that was burning inside of me! August 2014, September 2014, October 2014 (that is the month I started to see change!) I passed my practical test in October last year and I was EXTREMELY HAPPY!!!!!!!! I honestly could not believe it! Then come November 2014, December 2014 and now January 2015, February 2015, March 2015, April 2015, May 2015, June 2015, July 2015, August 2015, September 2015 and finally OCTOBER 2015!!
From the time it hit July 2014 to July 2015, I was on the verge of giving up! But what pained me the most was to see that I was still in the same position from March 2009 to July 2015. This is SIX GOOD YEARS+ in my workplace! From college to the finishing of my university studies. Everyone around me was getting jobs, studying, enjoying life, travelling, but as for me, it felt as if I was suffering in silence. I really did not understand why God kept me in waiting for so long. I was even questioning myself about my life and where it was heading to. I did not see myself as valuable because there was nothing I had to prove of it. The silent tears at night, the secret struggles of giving up nearly took over, but that still quiet voice still told me to keep going.
Ladies, when I tell you it has not been easy, it has not been easy! Do not allow anybody to underestimate your pain! Whether they are close to you or not, let them see your struggle for them to know how powerful your God is! I was overly stressed! I did not have any good sincere friends in 2014 as I lost a few, although I still had my close friends, they were not able to understand my struggle because they too were going through theirs. Sometimes we expect our friends to understand our pain, but what we fail to realise is that they are human too. So for me, it was a battlefield of the mind; one day I would be happy, the next day fear would attack me.
I wasn’t even sure if I should share this now or later, but I want to use this opportunity to encourage someone and let them know that they are not alone in the struggle. This year woish!!!!! I met some amazing people, but not only that, I encountered God in a very profound way! If I am honest with you, I do not think I struggled heavily as much as I did in 2013 and 2014. I would have gone in greater detail but it would just take too much time lol! 2015 is my year of favor!!!!!! I even had to declare it towards the ending of Christmas 2014, and say God: 2015 is my year!!! And I can honestly say it is! I met this lovely lady who I cannot thank God enough (I don’t know whether I should say her name of not lol – I am sure she knows who she is) but ever since God placed her in my life, she has been a big big big blessing to me; challenging me, helping me to be a better Esther, being transparent with me, you name it!
It started off very well, until I kept going off course. I had good days and I had bad days, which obviously everyone has! But for me, it just kept coming and going, so I didn’t really like the feeling. Towards June, I remember praying to God about my face because before I had so many spots which was affecting my self-confidence and esteem. It was so intense that I would buy literally any product to take the spots away. Until I fasted about my face and spoke to a few friends who gave me good advice, I went to my GP and the lady recommended me to use a gel every night, and I tell you, God works in mysterious ways! It was a struggle but now I am seeing such a big difference in my skin!! 😀
Now that struggle was over, it was me against my job applications. Every time I would come back from work, the first thing I would do is to jump on my laptop and apply for jobs that were most relevant to me. When September came now, I handed in my CV to L.K.Bennett, one of the significant retail companies in the UK. On the same did they called me to ask if I could come for an interview. I was so excited! However, to no avail, I didn’t get the job. Why? Because I was too professional? REALLY!! -___-. They saw it as a threat but I saw it as God doing me a favor for the reason that initially, I told myself that I did not want to work in retail, but because I was so eager to leave my current workplace, I wanted to have the job.
When I got the news, honestly I was crushed. I cried whilst reading a book called “Living Waters” and since reading that book, it has encouraged me to keep pressing on and to listen to His voice. When God does not say anything, DON’T MOVE! No matter how desperate you are because when you move without Him, you are going to have to face the consequences. Moving on, October 2015!! Ahh what a month! Lord knows!! So I had given a word of encouragement at my church a few weeks ago about “The Perspective of Focus” and I was talking about how in life we tend to drift off and lose track of who we are in the process of trying to reach our destination. I also mentioned that those who struggle greater attacks are the ones that will APPRECIATE the blessings when it comes rather than those who obtain their blessing without struggle. It was a reminder to educate the church NOT to compare themselves with others as Apostle Paul considers it unwise and foolish (2 Corinthians 10:12).
When I gave that word of encouragement, the Spirit was telling me to open up about my job search, although I honestly did not want to. But I obeyed. So when I opened up, I shed a few tears which usually I don’t like crying in front of a crowd lol, but the struggle was real sisters!! For the fact that the church could see where I was coming from as I also related to financial problems and health problems, they realised that no matter what age you are, you can still fall into various struggles. Trouble does not just come with age I tell you that. It was enlightening for me also because I honestly did not know how I was going to relate my topic “The Perspective of Focus” to my current situation. It was just a kind reminder to let the church know where to place their focus on. Ladies, your focus should not be on how to get a job, but to trust the One who is the provider of all things. Your focus should not be on how to force your way to get that promotion, but to work sincerely, humbly and wholeheartedly allowing God to lift you up in HIS TIME. Sometimes the way life is going, it feels easier to move by sight and not by Faith; this should not be so! Switch it around; WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT!
October 02nd 2015: I received news from my current workplace that the company will be closing down very soon. To be honest, I was happy. Why? Because I knew what I went through in that place (the good and bad times). I did not feel affected at all because I knew the God I was serving knows all things, and that He would surely provide a way out for me. Although I did not want to be in retail, I still ticked the relevant boxes that applied to me when I was handed the form, however I wanted something more stable so I volunteered for Head Office roles. Till now I have heard nothing back. I guess that answers my prayers to no more retail lol!
October 09th 2015: I received an email for a position that I was very interested in. I looked at my experience, skills and education background and thought I’d apply for the role. From the time I did not get the L.K.Bennett job in September, I stopped applying for other jobs for a while as I wanted to re-focus my mind on Christ and my purpose. But even before all this came, I met some amazing people in September who were so TRANSPARENT in their pain! I had a friend who was sharing her story about the struggle that she is currently facing, and I tell you tears were falling down my eyes! I thought I was the only one but Lord knows it wasn’t just me! Okay, back to October, I received an email on the 12th saying that I am invited for an interview at 2.30pm. When I clicked on the email, I was excited, but realised I was scheduled to work that day, so I looked at my rotar to see if anybody could cover me, but no-one was available. So I informed the lady to kindly shift it for me to 6.30pm so that I could come straight after work. Thank God for His favour!
The interview was held on the 15th October at 6.30pm. I arrived at the location on time, about 6.00pm. I inserted the postcode details on my phone, and as it was directing me, all I could see was “3 minutes left, 2 minutes left, now make a U-turn”, I was like WHHHAAATTT!!! I was a bit frustrated, but not too much! When 6.20pm came, I called the interviewer to let him know that I am around the area but could not find the place. The man said “we are opposite Zizzi’s restaurant”. I walked past the restaurant twice, still could not find it! So when 6.30 hit, I called my sister and told her that I was coming home. It is not that I gave up, but it seemed as if God did not want me to attend the interview. My sister surprisingly called the woman who helped me arrange the interview to inform her that I was already at the location, so the lady called the interviewer and asked them to wait for me.
This was only the favor of God upon my life! My sister called me as I was on the bus going home and told me to get off that two men are waiting for me. I sighed and thought let me just go, after all God did not bring me this far to leave me. Bare in mind I was cold and in heels so all I wanted was my bed and some sweets lol! I finally found the place of the interview, and guess where it was? In a desert restaurant -_____-. Not knowing that I walked past that place over 2 times in a row!! But on the email it did not specify it was in a restaurant! So when I approached the restaurant, I saw two men standing at the front door. I smiled at them and walked in, and saw a bag and some papers on the table. I knew they were for me. So I approached the owner of the restaurant to inform him that I had an interview. He allocated me to the two gentlemen that were standing outside the restaurant. They both came in and sat down with me. I apologised for the late response as I arrived 25 MINUTES LATE!! I honestly thought there was no point in me attending. I explained to the interviewers that the lady who arranged the interview did not specifically tell me that it was at a desert restaurant. Would you ever think an interview would be at a place where people buy ice cream or waffles? Please someone answer lol!
The interview only lasted about three minutes! I was totally in shock! He asked me why I applied for the job, when my resignation period was and what experience I have. Only those three questions landed me my first permanent job after university! This IS THE TIME! When I got the call just this Wednesday gone, I was in shock! I have not yet cried about this because it does not feel real because I’m used to hearing interviewers say “Regrettably”, “Unfortunately”, “We are sorry” etc. I honestly don’t know how to thank Him! After all the countless times of Nos I received, I only needed ONE YES FROM GOD!! No body, not even my family could have given me this job opportunity apart from our God who is able to do EXCEEDINGLY AND ABUNDANTLY! I honestly cannot believe God granted me the job because not only was I 25 minutes late, but it was so rushed!!! I honestly thought are these people serious because they were really in a rush to go!! Not only that, but the interview only lasted for THREE MINUTES!! Now I do not know about you, but interviews I know usually last around half an hour to an hour! Sometimes we should not despise the days of our beginnings! God really proved Himself, and up till now sisters, it still does not feel real!
I just want to use this opportunity to really encourage someone! You may feel like you have had it up to your throat, but believe me when I say I had my own fair share of ups and downs. You may feel tempted to question God and ask why He is delaying, by my sis, DELAY IS NOT DENIAL!! I honestly thought God had forgotten me, but when I found out that my current workplace is closing down, I knew it was only a sign that this was just the beginning of my breakthrough! To know that all the stress I’ve been through at work has not gone to waste, I can confidently leave in peace and on a good note! You will never know the intensity of my pain until you step into my shoes! Ladies, God is amazing!!
Keep going because you will get there! No matter how much you want to quit, when you do not give up on God, God will not give up on You!! This is my testimony because I declared by the ending of this year I will have a testimony! I will enjoy the remaining months in 2015! This is my time to enjoy what God has done in my life! So ladies, I tell you, be encouraged by what I am telling you. It is not easy to be this transparent but consider yourself favored because I won’t be doing this all the time LOL!
I want you to know that God is for you! For over 2 years of struggling to find a job, plus 6 years of being in my current position has shown Gods power in my life! I do not know about you, but this is your time to RISE!!! Rise above your struggles, rise above your past, rise above your doubts, rise above your haters! I know there were so many people who thought I wouldn’t make it. People will just come to know your business and not speak to you again, but God is going to take control of that. As for me, I will continue to keep serving the Lord. I did not know I was going to be offered a job this year, but the Lord said “IT IS TIME”.
Unto the Lord be the Glory, great things He has done, Unto the Lord be the Glory, great things He has done. Great things He has done, GREATER THINGS HE WILL DO, Unto the Lord be the Glory, GREAT THINGS HE HAS DONE!! You have to give Him the PRAISE in the good and bad times!! You have to give Him what He deserves! This is not the time to lose your head! It is the time to thank Him for all that He has done!! Your latter days shall be GREATER than your former days!!
This is just the beginning! Your eyes have not seen, yours ears have not heard, neither has it even entered into the heart of man the THINGS that God has in store for those that LOVE HIM! (1 Corinthians 2:9).
This is why I titled my message: “IT IS TIME!”
Be blessed and thank you for reading!
Your sister in Christ