When there is silence

A great discussion I had with a dear sister about transparency. I alway say to myself that transparency is expensive, and cannot be taken lightly. When someone is trying to express the way they feel, it is a cry for help. A way to ask if you really understand the depth of pain they are going through.

We all have been there. Times where we have doubted who we are, trying to find pleasure in being busy, but in the end, you feel the same way you started. What triggers emotions the more is when there is silence. When you cry out, but nothing seems to come your way. You look good in your clothing, I can see that you are travelling to many countries, I see your Instagram followers increasing, but the real question to you is, are you happy?

2018 has been one of the most blowing years of my life – not only losing my sister in May, but understanding what and where inner peace comes from. Despite the silence, the tears, the pain, the noise, there is still something to be thankful for in the midst of circumstance. The silence that caused me to really look deep within made me realise that I am not alone in my situation.

The next time you feel that God is not answering or that your problems aren’t going away, try to be still in order to hear His voice. I am now realising that people cannot fully understand me the way God does, and what truly moves Him is being able to hear your voice that will shake the Heavens on your behalf. His peace is what we need to endure this life.

Give Him your all – this is what June has taught me. Don’t give him parts of it and deal with the rest. I really am taking every day as it comes as a rich lesson to make the most of it, and live my life to the fullest on purpose. No matter where you are right now, please tell yourself that you will never give up. We are all on a race, and you are in charge of winning or losing.

The pain that we encounter is not meant for us alone; the silent moments we face and experience is God telling you to get closer to Him. This is what I want to leave you with:

I want ou to get to the point where you trust what God says at the expense of His silence.

Your Father in Heaven knows what is best for you. So in the midst of silence, just be still and know that everyone is working for you, and not against you.

With love,

Esther .x.

The Power of Waiting and Being Patient

There is Power in Patience. I know most of us don’t get along with it (including me at times), but there is something about patience that makes you appreciate the gift when it arrives. There is something about struggling that makes you stronger than you thought you’d be. Without struggles, there won’t be testimonies. Show me someone you know who received everything they wanted without struggle and is still happy. There are a few people, including celebrities who clam to have it all; the finances, the looks, the fame, the popularity, the house, but the real question is: Are they happy? Now back to you. What is it that you are earnestly waiting on God to do for you? I remember talking to my friend about my job search and career aspirations. I graduated in Business Administration with Marketing, the year of 2013. I have not been able to secure a decent graduate job. Although God has sustained me in my current work place which I am SO THANKFUL FOR, it can be draining, and you won’t understand what I mean until you step into my shoes.

For others, it is  more painful as they have already graduated, but is idle at home. I know someone who has been unemployed for 6 good months, and I tell you it isn’t easy. I haven’t been unemployed thanks to God but I would assume how it feels </3. Although, there are times where it seems like I am unemployed because the my way of thinking is not positive. I am that individual that sees the best potential in others but struggle secretly in my own shell. It seems that when people around me are receiving their breakthroughs, I am doing the same repetitive routine. It is frustrating if I am honest, and I keep asking God what His next steps for my life are. When I was in my thinking mode, a friend sent me a picture which said this:

“Frustration is your worst enemy, for it has the power to destroy peace of mind”

I don’t know how powerful it can get than this. Frustration can lead to bitterness. Bitterness can lead to loneliness. Loneliness can lead to hatred, and if not cautioned quick enough, self-destruction. I remember going to my friends for help and advice in regards to my job search, but to no avail; nothing is happening. I believe what God is constantly trying to teach me is that He won’t grant man the power to help me, because only He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above more than we can imagine or think. I know it would be so easy to thank your friend for securing a job for you, but it says in His Word that ‘He will never share His Glory with anybody’. God does not want the praise to be given to man but to Him only. Frustration occurs from failed attempts, secretly comparing yourself with others, and how others define or perceive you. How others define you is none of your business unless you want it to be. What you say to yourself will make or break you!

If we don’t get into the habit of speaking positive words in our situations, we are more likely to be slaves to them. Relying on people to tell you what to do is time-wasting. This is now the time to seize the moment and run to God to ask what path He wants you to take. At the moment, I am in a very good place. I believe the right people are in my life for now, until further notice. God is really teaching the beauty of being patient. Personally, it has been quite a struggle for me because I work hard and endeavour to do my best. However, I see patience as a sign of maturity; to see how much I really trust and depend on God.

“The willingness and obedience to be patient is the beginning of a mature mind and healthy heart”.

Patience and Maturity are the wonder-twins of an answered prayer for God to reveal Himself to you. In Matthew 7:7-8 it says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you, (8) For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened”. This scripture is so powerful that there was a time where I doubted myself. I thought if I keep asking God for what I desired, it would seem like a burden and show lack of trust. But now that I am studying it more, I am beginning to understand the  the importance of asking, knocking and seeking! With these three things comes several answers from the Holy Spirit.

But if I may ask, do you ever feel that you are asking God for prayers to be answered but it seems so quiet? Have you considered that you are talking too much that you can’t hear what He has to say? Maybe it is time to check your prayer life. How consistent is it? Or do you only pray when trouble occurs? On the other hand, it could be that your prayer life is self-centred. (This is what I was dwelling on recently too). You are the only person that knows what you pray behind closed doors and in your quiet time of study. Most of us think that when we come out of our current situations we will be happy. Well, if you can’t be happy where you are now, you are probably going to be less happier when you come out. It can be difficult for Christians to realise that they have a HIGHER PURPOSE in life than seeking for external things because we are looking at things from a natural view rather than a spiritual view.

I spoke to God in my year of frustration; 2014 to find out what His plans were for my life. I am still learning and trying to be more submissive to Him rather than doing everything in my own strength. All I keep hearing Him say is ‘trust me’. But the more I keep hearing it, the more I am seeing people around me getting their blessings. Could it be a sign that God is reminding me that He is still in the business of blessing people? Ladies, you and I know that we want God to do a lot for us and it is very good to be humble about it, however, there are times where you have to be like Jacob and say ‘I am not going anywhere until YOU BLESS ME‘. Frustration will make you fall to your knees and cry out to God because you know how painful the situation is. When you open up, you will start having flashbacks of the moments where God did something great for you, and will remind you that all things are possible, not just for your today, but your future!!!

Don’t look at your friends’ circumstances and feel the need to be like them just because it seems like they are enjoying life. You too could be enjoying life if you stop looking at what they have and start looking onto God the Author and Finisher of your Faith. Remember that God does not confuse His people, but brings PEACE (1 Corinthians 14:33). Your Peace is not in your job, your Peace is not in your car, your Peace is not in your spouse, your Peace is not in your finances, your Peace is not in the adorning of external beauty and jewelry, but your Peace is in Christ Jesus because He is the Prince of Peace. When you call Jesus into your storm, He will fight for you in every area.

Furthermore, you must endeavour to give Him the opportunity to bless you. It’s not everyday strain yourself!!. Sometimes give God a chance, relax and let go! There is power in being patient. It may not feel nice now, it may not feel comfortable, it will be frustrating, but with time and obedience, everything will all make sense. I want you to take this opportunity to thank the Lord for all He has done, and what He is going to do in your future. I found it so hard to give thanks for the things I could not see that He was doing behind closed doors, but now I have realised the impact of praising Him in advance. Never allow your current situation to define you, you do not look like what you are going through. Position yourself woman, you are more stronger than you think. Don’t allow anything in society to pressure or diminish you. Renew your mind and check your thoughts. Are they aligned to God’s word?

I would always find it difficult to share this personal testimony about my job search, but I find so much pleasure in sharing, because it helps me to know that I am not the only one in this current situation. As I stated earlier, I am VERY grateful that I have a job, however I am POSITIONING MYSELF to receive something much better which I strongly believe is going to be revealed very soon. I will update you on this journey once the timing is right! Ladies, remember not to settle for less. I may not know what you are waiting for, but no matter what it is, allow yourself to be encouraged that He is with you and makes all things beautiful in His time. The road won’t always be easy but you have to keep fighting until the Victory is WON!

“Patience is not about how long you can wait. It is how well you behave while you wait”. Ladies, wait on The Lord. He will see you through (Isaiah 41:30).

Patience 1

Unexpected Favor!



If you could write down a list of all the things you desire to happen this year in 2014, and compare your list of things you already have, which list would be longer? For me, it would be the second option. I will joyfully count the things I already have, and weigh it to the things I desire. Sometimes as Christians, we are so focused on what we desire, relative to what we already have. It can be tempting to complain and become frustrated when certain people are being blessed. Has it ever occurred to you when people who are close to you are being blessed in one way or another; that job that you was praying for 11 months ago, that car that you were saving up for, telling God that you are going to be engaged at the age of 25, sometimes we don’t always get what we want. But I know what we do get on a daily basis; UNEXPECTED FAVOR! Challenges will come, pain will come, tears will come, but it cannot be compared to the favor that God will show you.

What is Favor?

Favor is when you have been chosen out of the crowd to be blessed in spectacular ways. In other words, it basically means not to ‘fit in’ with the crowd, but to be a blessing to others around you in a unique way. Characters in the bible including David, Esther, Ruth, Job, Elijah, Moses, Daniel, were favored in the eyes of God. In particular, the book of Esther is a powerful story of how God favored her in every endeavor of her life. Read Esther chapter 2 verses 15-18.

Some would ask, ‘How can I receive favor?’ Well, to be honest, I believe God is a generous God, so He gives favor unto those He wants to bless. As children of the most high God, you are legally in line for an outpouring of divine favor and PROMOTION that is coming your way. You also need to bare in mind that Faith without works is dead. So when you desire something, you need to RELEASE your Faith in order for Favor to takes its place. Don’t expect something good to come out if you are still having doubts in your heart. Without Faith, it is impossible to please God.

This year, I have been told by my friends that they are receiving jobs, and it makes me so happy because graduating for such a long time and not doing anything can be very stressful. But when you are still in that same position, i.e. the same job for five years, no promotion, finding it difficult to look for jobs, it can be hard to remain Faithful. Nevertheless, God looks at how much INPUT you make into your job search. When He sees that you are being persistent in your job search, He will open a door for you that no man can shut.

God’s supernatural and divine favor rested on David as he defeated Goliath and later was given the kingdom, while being protected repeatedly against his enemies. God even called David ‘a man after his own heart‘. The Favor of God was truly on David. Saul hated David so much because He was favored in the eyes of man and of God. Imagine hiding yourself because people you thought were your friends are trying to kill you. It is painful. But did David give up…no he didn’t. He came out of his shell and renewed his confidence in God. From then, he witnessed and saw the unexpected favor that God poured upon His life, and you can receive it too, if you believe!

I usually enjoy making people happy around me. At work, it does not even occur to me that I receive compliments from customers, but the way they speak just touches my heart. Usually, I would receive lovely comments such as “Your customer serving is amazing” “I really love your smile “You are very good at your job”. This is Gods way of favoring me. Surely yes I know I do not have my hearts desires come to pass yet, but even someone’s words can touch your heart! It can make you become a better person. Even when you are the last to arrive at the bus stop, but someone who is older than you still lets you on first, that is what I called ‘unexpected favor’. REMEMBER THAT THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST AND THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST! Never underestimate a compliment from someone you do not expect, because you do not know where that will lead you to.

Even if you are working on a temporary basis, believe that the job will be permanent! Do not settle for less! It may not even be a job situation, anything that you are going through, and feel that nothing is happening, do not doubt God, because He knows what He is doing! One thing that I have realised is that we tend to give up if we see that our dreams are not being fulfilled. It does not mean that God has neglected you, He is preparing you for when He is ready to give it to you. He knows when you are ready, but for now, keep doing good! Be kind to those around you, because the favor that God can pour on someone you do not expect, you will be so happy when they approach you and tell you something that you have been waiting to hear.

Write this down or keep it in your journals/diaries, even stick it on your bedroom wall: “2014 IS MY YEAR FOR THE ANOINTING OF UNEXPECTED FAVOR!” And believe it. Do not just say it once, but claim it and receive your favor!

With love,

Esther xXx


Favour 2