Where real love is, there is growth

Real love

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Love is the greatest gift of all. We all need to be loved, adored and cherished by those we classify as close to us, including family, friends and loved ones. Love is the foundation of a good solid relationship because it chooses to look beyond ones’ faults. It says regardless of how much you have caused me pain, I choose to accept you as you are. Your love can set someone free today. Maybe someone has done you wrong, and you know how much they have hurt you. It takes a humble individual to swallow their pride and accept ones’ apology. The world we live in is failing in the area of love, so as true believers, let us be the light that shines bright and loves without no limits.

When I am writing my journal, I always express how my day went and what happened. Then when I remember what someone did to me, maybe a name pops up in my head, it draws me back, making it harder to function and prevents me from enjoying my ‘now moment’. If someone has offended me, I would write it down, as this helps me release the emotions and toxic thoughts controlling my mind, but eventually, this tends to create a pattern of bitterness, resentment, and anger. When people do you wrong, do you choose to dwell on it, or let it go? It is not always easy to love those that have spitefully used you, and sometimes it still keeps coming back. I personally believe that when these situations do arise, one should be wise about guarding their heart, for out of it flows the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23).

Matthew [22:39] does say that we should “love our neighbour as we love ourselves” because if we love who we are, it should not be difficult to love others. People should see the love of God in us. Why? Because GOD IS LOVE and He requires us to love people because He created us in His own image. It is not enough to say you love God but dislike your neighbour. Now please do not misunderstand me here, yes, love is a great healing tool that binds and restores broken family issues and relational and friendship divisions, however, one must be wise about the thoughts they are carrying because the mind is our battlefield. We must endeavour to ensure that our thoughts are aligned not only to His Word but to the His true purpose, and what is His purpose? LOVE! Love is the reason why we are living today and love should be the reason that you show others, especially those who you think do not deserve it. After all, we do not even deserve His unmerited, undeserved Grace, so what makes us so special to ‘choose’ who we want to love?

I strongly believe you can love people, but not carry the WEIGHT of people. There is a difference. You will have to be intentional about those who surround you, in particular, your inner circle. If you have a group of friends that you know influence you well, it is very easy to love them. But those who you find hard to reach out to, you never know, God could be using them to test you according to the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). One of the fruits that the Father is currently teaching me about is ‘self-control’. We all need it, no-one is exempt from it.  We are sensitive beings and must understand the importance of compassion, a love that is never-failing. We all need support from time to time; but the real focus here is that when someone treats you wrong, it shouldn’t make us change our character towards the situation and start taking it out on other people. We must understand and know that with self-control, we have power over our circumstance. It takes a mature individual to notice ones’ inconsistent behaviour but still chooses to love them regardless. Still chooses to speak good things about them. Still chooses to help them when they fail. This results in growth, because where real love is, there is growth.

Have you ever responded unbecomingly to a situation (with anger or impatience), and thought, ‘Who is this person? I thought I was nice!’ Sometimes, we think we already have the fruit of the Spirit fully developed in us, simply because we are Christians. But when we are caught off guard, or our fruit is ‘squeezed’, we find out just how undeveloped the fruit in us actually is. These incidents are TESTS that are actually good for us because they help us know the areas where we are weak and still need to grow.

The more you practice displaying the fruit of self-control in your thoughts, words, and actions, the riper the fruit will become. I encourage you to depend on God’s Grace (undeserved favour and blessing) to work through you to produce the fruit needed. If we try to love with our natural instinct, we set ourselves up for failure, because human love is based on terms and conditions, but God’s love is unconditional. We must endeavour to love like God does. This takes hard work and effort and will not happen overnight. We will see authentic growth when we love genuinely, not for bribes, charm or bad intentions. God has given us the ability to care and tender for people, because if someone was to hurt your feelings, how would you like it? It is so easy to criticise and look down on those that have offended you, but remember to check yourself to ensure that you are guilt-free from anyone you may have offended too. Don’t be looking at me when you have a big beam in your eye Matthew 7:3. Choose love over hypocrisy.

How is your love life today? Are you loving those who love you back, and disliking those who dislike you back? What makes you stand out from the crowd? Anyone can love someone who loves them, but it takes a mature-minded individual to swallow their ego and say “I am really sorry about what happened last week, I want to make it up to you”. Yes, it may look weak, but in Gods’ eyes, you are STRONG! Not a lot of us today can humble ourselves to do this. Jesus IS our prime example of how we should consistently remain focused on loving others. When you are able to let go of your emotions and pride, and allow Him to strip you off all the baggage you have been carrying, then you will freely be able to love with a sincere heart, and all that you have been seeking for will come your way. The more love, the more growth, the less love, the less you grow. It is your decision.

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The loss of love always leaves a scar

Loss Love

Hello lovelies! Today I’ll be speaking from the topic of love. Now we all should be aware that the only way we can truly enjoy our lives is to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. It is not always easy, I know, but the feeling of giving it out to others will surprise you. I read Matthew 9:36 today and it reads “When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them”. Why did Jesus have compassion on them? Because He knew that the crowd was helpless and harassed. Having read this, it made me realise that life is not just about my situations and problems, or how I can get them resolved; but really it is also about putting our feet in someone else’s shoes to really feel the depth of their pain. Scars represent so much to each and every individual. Especially those who have psychically been cut or mentally drained. Either way they are all scars that vary from woman to woman.

It makes me glad to know that when helping people, I too am being helped. Who by? The Holy Spirit. I believe that when we put our problems aside and support our sisters, we too can experience the depth of God’s love upon our lives, and He too will take care of our needs (Philippians 4:19). The need to feel loved today is a challenge that isn’t always easy to abide by. Women who put their trust in their partners just to hear that he is not interested anymore; a best friend of yours talking behind your back and spreading rumors that are not true. Have you been there? I have. I tell you ladies, it is not easy at all, but the good thing is that God allows us to learn from all these experiences. He does not want us to become weak, but to share our experiences with those around us who are currently struggling to love.

There is a lovely song by Hillsong: ‘Savior He can move the Mountains’; the first line of the verse is “EVERYONE NEEDS COMPASSION, A LOVE THAT’S NEVER FAILING”. What does this mean to you Queen? Can you really analyse the depth of this statement? Everyone, even those who have hurt you and will continually hurt you in the future needs ‘COMPASSIONIt takes real mature women to overcome their past pain from friends and loved ones, and just continue to walk in the journey of love. Love never fails and you too shouldn’t fail on others when they are in need of love.

Having read the Word for You Today, I found this fact: “Research from the University of Manchester affiliated Institute for Social Change showed that in the UK in 2010-2011, the poorest 20% of people gave 3.2% of their income to charity, while the richest 20% of people only gave 0.9%”. It is sad to know that even rich people still find it difficult to give, relative to those that are less fortunate than others. And it is even funny because it seems like the rich seem to be getting richer and the poor getting poorer. But what I truly respect about those who are less fortunate is that they share their little portion of what they have left to those around them. This is what you call true love and selflessness.

Some are currently finding it hard to obtain a job, run a business, look after a child, and there are some of us who constantly complain that what they have is not enough, having the same food in the house, complaining about your job, being frustrated about petty things that truly do not matter. When are we going to wake up and realise that life won’t always be what we expect, but we can at least try to work together with what we have and turn it around for our good. I cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am for everything God has given me, firstly for LIFE! I keep saying ladies that although we complain about those hurting us, and not always getting our way, lets take a few steps back and ponder of the LOVE OF GOD! How He woke you up today and you have the privilege to read this blog post. Being alive and well is the depth of love that only God can give. Even when the Doctors dictate how much time you have left to live, it is GOD THAT HAS THE FINAL SAY!

So ladies, I want you to seize this opportunity to encourage you show love to those around you, even the ones who annoy you, starting with your family. There is a saying that goes “charity begins at home” so whatever you practice in the house is what you are going to do outside of the house. If you are not as close to your family as you used to, try making an effort with them. Remember every family is dysfunctional because there is no such thing as a perfect family, and that is what makes family unique. Maybe you can start helping your mother with washing the dishes and helping her cook. Or maybe your little brother is so annoying and keeps pestering you whilst studying; give him your time and attention and put your work aside for a while. It does not hurt to have a little bit of family-therapy 🙂

Showing love is not just about buying people things, but it is also giving your TIME to someone. We all know how time is precious to us, every second counts! Time is a sacrifice and the more you give your time to others, the more happier you will become. Although balance is very important on the other hand, have quality time with yourself is also vital too. Do things that make you happy. If you are a genuinely happy and loving person, continue to do so and share the love. The true test is when you can love EVEN WHEN IT HURTS.

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Where there is no love, it leaves a scar that may take some time to heal. When I think about the love of Jesus, it humbles me to the extent where I cannot stay mad with someone for long. Why would I want to please my flesh or boost my ego just because of someone else’s faults? To make myself look good? No way! Ladies, we are nothing without Christ. No matter what people have done to us, remember that Jesus too had His close friends betray Him, yet the love was so STRONG towards them. If Jesus decided to hate His close friends, can you imagine how the world would be today? Despite how the world is already, we can endeavor to work as one in loving those around us. Never allow your pride or ego to get into the way of your love for someone.

Your love can prevent someone from committing suicide. Have you ever thought about that before? Those that are weaker than you may find strength in the love you show them, When I was a weak person a few years ago, my dependence for love was based on people around me. I wouldn’t feel confident enough until someone says they love me or can accept me in their group. But now as a grown mature woman, I have come to realise that it is my job also to show love and genuinely care for people, especially those who are vulnerable and timid. Moreover, in my weakest moments, I didn’t truly understand the depth of God’s love for me, because I was too occupied trying to please people. Till now, I can honestly thank God He has brought me out of that trap where I used to be in finding love through others. I am not saying that you cannot receive love from other people, but bear in mind that mans’ hearts can change in a minute so above all things guard your heart and mind (Proverbs 4:23). So God taught me the importance of His love; to always put at the back of my mind that God’s love is unconditional and that He will never leave a scar in my heart, but instead will fill that scar with His everlasting love.

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So today, if you are in a painful or severe situation that you feel you cannot love again, smile again, laugh again, please let go of the frustration because that is killing your joy to love others. Ladies who are constantly frustrated won’t be able to experience the depth of God’s love. Not only that, but God uses people to love on us, so you too must do the same to love them back. In life ladies, we need people. We cannot do everything by ourselves, that is impossible. When you have a vision or dream to fulfill, God will place certain people in your life to support and lead you in the right direction. He does not however want you to take them for granted as they are limited resources and they can only do so much. The team that God has given you to fulfill your Destiny, do not take them for granted. Appreciate those around you by showing them what love really is. Let your love be so authentic that all the scars; physical scars, mental scars, emotional scars and spiritual scars can be solved through understanding and empathy. It should not hurt to relate to somebody else’s pain. Instead it should be your opportunity to share your personal struggles with them so that they can be relieved. Your scars will eventually heal and you would have come to a point where things that used to bother you don’t. If you love yourself, I am sure you can love others too. Study the book of 1 Corinthians 13 to gain a deeper insight of the word “LOVE”. 

What LOVE is:

  • Love is JESUS
  • Love is KIND
  • Love is HUMBLE
  • Love is PATIENT
  • Love is TRUTH

What LOVE isn’t:

  • Love does not ENVY
  • Love does not BOAST
  • Love is not ARROGANT
  • Love is not RUDE
  • Love does not INSIST OF ITS OWN WAY
  • Love is not IRRITABLE
  • Love is not RESENTFUL

Let’s continue to be loving towards each other! It is the greatest Commandment 🙂

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