Your worth is what you believe in, how you see yourself and how you speak to yourself. What negative lies have you been saying to yourself or allowing your mind to control? 2016 has taught me the importance of stepping back from certain situations including people; learning not to retaliate but pray instead to keep my focus on track, being aware of the negative assumptions that play my mind, trying to make people happy, most importantly RECIPROCATION! <<When I talk about this, I don’t mean give and it shall be given back on to you because we are taught to give. I am speaking from a relational and friendship perspective because there will be instances where we invest so much in others that we don’t always see the equivalent result or return.
As you develop in life, you also develop in relationships and friendships. There are some connections that you will have with people that may benefit you, or leave you stuck. There are others that may try to make issues worse, but you choose to surpass it and overcome. It takes a lot of strength, wisdom, and discernment from God to keep your Spiritual eyes open and alert of the signs, whilst being able to control and take responsibility for your emotions. When my Spirit is troubled, instead of wasting precious time trying to find out the issue, I pray then step back from the situation to allow God to have His way.
I remember having a conversation with a dear sister of mine; when she listened to what I was saying, God used her to inform me that I was covering up and trying to make excuses for someone, but she knew that it should not have been the case. What I am trying to say is that when you make an effort with people, and you can sense that the effort coming back is not as genuine as you thought it would be, that is the time for you to step back and see where you stand. It is time-consuming and draining to keep people in your mind that do not have you on theirs; in fact, those who have the time to speak with others but not you is a sign that they have already categorised their priorities.
This is why I will forever love God because He has no favourites, nor does He hold our faults against us. I have been in so many situations where I know that God has told me about a situation and I choose to ignore it making but then ended up broken because I did not listen. Have you been there? It applies to everything in life; relationships is a two-way process; friendship is a two-way process. What you put in should be what you get out. If you have people in your life who are not adding any value, not shaping you in any way or form, not challenging you or bringing out the best in you, please question it.
It is not healthy to have dysfunctional surroundings, pretending to be happy, or fearful that people will leave your life. When God tells you to let go of something or someone, do not hesitate, because remember not everyone will be for you. Not everyone was for Jesus Himself, so what makes you think that everyone will be for you? I’ve learnt to take breaks whilst working on myself and with others because it gives me time to reflect, to really analyse those who have added VALUE AND WORTH in my life. To appreciate those who have invested their time in prayer, fasting, fellowship and socialisation. In fact, I have even learnt to thank those who put pressure on me, looked down on me and spoke about me because it all equates to the strength that God has given me for the road ahead.
Stepping back is good, and should be done once in a while. Never be afraid to let people go, because I strongly believe that what is for you SHALL be for you and nobody can take that away! Remember God sees through our hearts so whatever plans people may have against you, stand still and firm so that God will intervene; He is a just God and knows what He is doing. He will allow people to treat you funny and feel alone just so they can see the Glory of God in you. It is good to be afflicted according to David in Psalm 119:71 because without the trials and tribulations, how will others be encouraged? David had to encourage Himself in the Lord because he knew the anointing on his life. King Saul hated David with such great passion because of the way others loved him, that despite his negative attitude, David chose to surpass it by seeking God in prayer. He could have executed Saul but chose to let go. This takes maturity and a consistent yearning that seeks after God. David was a focused man, not someone that withers like the wind, or changes because people change.
What you go through should be able to encourage another person; it is not meant to be a time to fight the process to get comfortable again. God wants us to move when we are happy, and when we are discouraged. No matter the situation know that everything (good and bad) will work out for your favour (Romans 8:28). I stand firmly on this knowing that every good work I do will return to me 100 fold. We have to believe that our works are not in vain and whether people appreciate us or not, we are not obliged to change for anybody, other than our Father. Learn to appreciate yourself before you allow anyone to appreciate you because your worth comes from what you believe in. Remember that not everyone will honour what you do, but when you can honour yourself that is a perfect gift. God is the PERFECT MATCH-MAKER. He knows the right people in your life and will remove those who won’t add value.
Do not try to force anything to happen in your own strength, it is dangerous. I learnt very much about this. You can help people, but only to an extent. If they appreciate it praise the Lord, if they don’t, thank Him for the experience and keep it moving. God did not call us to make everyone happy. God is the one that understands the hearts of man, so please save your time and mind from being abused. Start from yourself; learn to treat yourself well and allow God to be in the centre. Let Him be your true focus, and remove the negative assumptions that block your mind to enjoy life.
Stepping back is needed; if Jesus was able to step back and pray without His Disciples, surely we too can step back from certain situations that weigh us down to gain strength for a new day. Learn to let go and let God; give yourself the Peace that God promised you (Phillippians 4:6), and most importantly don’t let your heart be troubled (John 14:1). Step back and run to Jesus, He won’t disappoint you 🙂
Peace & Blessings.