Unanswered Prayer is God’s Gift

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Have you ever asked the question, why doesn’t prayer work? Why at times does it appear that God ignores us when we pray to Him. Many have prayed for God to intervene and solve a problem that they are struggling with, but sometimes God‘s apparent answer is silence. If God answers your prayers He is increasing your Faith, if He doesn’t He is training your patience.


When you hit a certain level of prayers over the same situation and not seeing a change, it will eventually make you step back and ask yourself if it’s going to happen. There are other people who apply for a particular job in their field but don’t receive an update on their application. Sometimes, these unanswered questions are a blessing in disguise. Imagine asking for something that you thought would benefit you, but behind closed doors, it was not the right thing for you.

“Even sweet things can kill” (African Proverb). 

When you take sweets off a child that has eaten 5 packets, they cry, but the child does not know that the mother is protecting their teeth and health. Sometimes, we want all the nice things, but behind it, we don’t know the depth of consequence it will provide. Look back over your life today, and ask yourself what sort of expectations you planned to achieve, and write the ones you received and the ones you didn’t. Compare them and see which expectations were met the most. 2016 has been such a blessing; there are things I did not even put effort in that I received, and this is not to say I am perfect, because I am not. It’s just that my Faith at the time was being tested and had to show God that I really trusted Him to see me through, and He really did show up.

What are you asking for today? A new job? A business opportunity? A new level of Peace? A long-term relationship? To maintain family unity? To be a missionary? These are great blessings, but what do you do when you do not see it come to fruition? Do you give up? Do you throw in the towel? Yes, I know how it feels, do not misunderstand me, but have you come to realise that God could be testing your motives behind it all What about your patience? How do you handle rejection when you have failed continuously? In other words, why not make rejection teach you a lesson to aim higher and divert your original plans to something more effective? The rejection you receive today should not be repeated tomorrow if you really want to see a change in your life. You would make an intentional decision to renew your mind, reflect and ponder on what you want to do.

So this is the structure that I usually take and would like to share it with you:

  • PLAN – What decisions have you made today in planning a better tomorrow?
  • PACE – How quick are you determined to meet your plans to make it come to reality?
  • POSITION – Your mindset and character should be positioned in a positive mode where you are able to see yourself at where you desire to be.

When you plan your goals whether personal or professional, you are more likely to run with the vision and set yourself in a high league where you can attain them. But, if the goals do not come to pass, you plan something else, and see if that works, (maybe trial and error). I would rather work hard and fail to know that I tried to attempt something than to think about the vision and not do anything about it, because at least I can say I’ve learnt from my mistakes. It is not enough to say you are you’re striving to achieve anything because you remember the times you’ve failed. That is not breaking out of your comfort zone, and at times this could be one of the reasons why our goals are not being met. We are far too comfortable with what we have, that we build our bed there and stay because we are afraid to branch out of our comfort.

Apply this in your workplace today; some employees do not feel motivated enough to go to work, some go to make money and pay bills, others go to develop their career and others for promotion. Regardless of your motive, how do you handle the workload in your position? If you want that promotion in your job, how do you handle people also? Are you not aware that people are watching you knowingly and unknowingly? It would feel unfair for someone who started off as an Entry Level Marketing Analyst and promoted to a Senior Marketing Analyst in 6 months, whilst someone who has been in the company for 3 years+ is still in the same position of an Entry Level Marketing Analyst. What do you think the person who was promoted to a senior role did with their time? I would assume self-encouragement and motivation, persistence and hard work that initiated the promotion.

We want the promotion, the title, the name, but are not willing to put in the effort. The way I see it, what you put in is what you will get out. It is a waste of time envying someone else’s progress. All the energy you used to do this could have been used to invest in yourself and become better, but instead, you chose to allow your feelings to control you and make you bitter.  So when you see your goals not being met, know that it is God working on your patience, your heart, and your attitude towards rejection. How you handle someone else’s success will determine how your own success will look like. If you are not happy for people when they are going up, don’t expect others to be happy for you.

In other words, if you are not willing to put in the effort now to work towards your goals, don’t assume that God will just drop everything your way and allow Him to pick up the pieces. He wants to see your input and effort to use that as proof that you are trusting Him. God’s Word tell us that working hard, but with faith in mind, can lead to great things he has planned for us. So imagine all the blessings He has lined up for us if we work hard. But please be reminded that in as much effort that you put into something, the result won’t always be what you expected. I am speaking from experience because I know of a time where I studied, researched, and spent hours on one application just to receive an email after 4 weeks saying ‘Unfortunately, we cannot take you on’. You wouldn’t believe the effort I put in, relative to an application I made a while back and received good feedback within 5 weeks.

Regardless of how the process takes, work at it with all your heart knowing and believing that something good will come your way. If you really think about it, when our prayers are met, we are very ecstatic, but how about being more determined when our prayers aren’t met. How do you handle that? When I was in a season of not working, I honestly did not see anything exciting in that, but instead of me wallowing in self-pity, I chose to make the most with my time and write a book: ‘It’s Time to Heal’ on Amazon and create a YouTube channel: ‘Esther N J’.

In our times of silence and uncertainty, that is the opportunity for us to use our free time wisely. This is not to sulk or become hard-hearted. It is a time where we must understand that what we already have, we can manage it and turn it around for our good. I used the money I saved to buy a car to invest in my book and my Canon camera whilst I was not working. I chose to do something useful with my time because as the saying goes ‘nobody knows tomorrow’.


I’ll give you four reasons as to why our prayers aren’t always answered:

  1. Gods time is not our time.
  2. Unrepentant sin is hardening our relationship with the Lord (Psalm 19:12).
  3. We are not asking in Faith (James 1:6-8).
  4. Our prayers may not be according to the Lords Will.

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God has a plan for us because we are so special in His eyes. What we are asking the Lord to do may not be in accordance with His plan or purpose. If that is the case, He is not going to do what we ask; scriptures related to this can be found in 1 John 5:14-15, Matthew 6:10 and John 15:7. When your goals aren’t being met, see it as a blessing because God won’t give you anything you cannot handle. What you could be asking for could be heavier than what you expect. Don’t take what you ask for lightly. Understand why you want what you desire, not just for publicity and status.

He will always give your needs, not your want. God’s timetable is not the same as ours. He knows better than we do and when is the best time for our prayers to be answered. (Hebrews 6 :13-15). God is eternal and does not measure time as we do. 2 Peter 3:8: “Beloved, do not forget this one thing, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.”

Ultimately, if we have faith and sincerely trust God, we will not be concerned as to whether the answer is “YES”, “NO” or “WAIT.” We must trust, wait to see if God in His timing will see fit to answer as we have requested, or perhaps He has something better in mind for us, I guarantee it! 🙂 There is beauty in unanswered prayers.


“Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding (6) in all your ways know and acknowledge and recognise Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]”. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 AMP).


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Faith is stopped by your questions

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We are inquisitive beings, aren’t we! Always wanting to know everything in detail, not refusing to leave without a valid answer. Trust me, I know. You want to find out why people hurt you, you want to delve deeper into the motive of the opposite sex who wants to get to know you more, you want to find out what steps God wants you to take so that you avoid the humps and bumps of life. Well, I am going to tell you now that you won’t always get the answers, nor can you avoid the trials of life. I believe it is very good to not always know things, because depending on your level of maturity, it can either make or break you. If you are still not fully healed from your past pain with family or friends, maybe they hurt your feelings, or they betrayed you by telling your business to others, then there isn’t really any point in knowing why people hurt you.

We must understand that as long as we are living on the earth, we will encounter some sort of pain. No matter what or who you believe in, whether you are a Christian or not, you are NOT EXEMPT from the trials and tribulations of life. You will come to a point where you’ll just block your ears, take away the distractions from social media, and even be a bit anti-social to prevent yourself from being hurt. It is good at times, though, to move away from the drama and hype. I had to discipline my mind recently regarding a situation that occurred. It’s those tingly feelings a woman has when she is attracted to the opposite sex, but when someone else is involved, it is so easy to crumble down or assume that someone is going on behind the scenes.

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I just want to reiterate something before I carry on. Ladies, PLEASE KNOW YOUR WORTH! Jesus Christ bought you with a precious price; a price that cannot be compromised for anyone or anything. He knows the right person for you, so instead of worrying when the next man will notice you, know that Jesus ALREADY knows you. He knows the plans for you, and the purpose He has for you. If the man wants you, He will pursue you, and if you are mature enough to know, you will use discernment. It saddens my heart today when friendships break up because of the opposite sex, comparison issues, secret struggles, evil thoughts and jealousy. These things should not even be encouraged or thought of. This is why it is important to pray against the spirit of distraction.

We have so many distracting things today in our society, that we cannot function properly until we get an answer. Some may not even be able to sleep well because they want to know everything. If a man does not pursue you, or he doesn’t make as much effort it communicating, it could be because his heart is not yet ready to give away, he could have someone else in mind, he may not be strong enough to handle another commitment or God is still preparing Him.


“Always keep the big picture in mind – you are greatly loved by Jesus and your job is to love Him and others in return”


Do not take offence when someone doesn’t notice you, nor allow your bitterness to rub on other people. Stand strong and firm knowing that God who made you has already placed a man for you in mind. You do not need to wake up worrying, and stressing yourself about what others are doing. Don’t even try to imagine it. Keep your mind from clutter and respect yourself. Respect yourself in a way where you, as the elegant woman, will keep your mind focused on what matters most including investing in yourself. Your personal development will help future women and men see the true beauty and class in you. You are not a cheap imitator of someone else, you are an original copy, so NEVER lower your standards for anybody or try to gain/seek attention. It is very obvious when that behaviour happens. God loves you so much, that is worth your focus.

Know that you are worth the wait! It is so important to make it clear that you are not rushing for anything, nor stressing yourself about when my time is coming. A mature man will know what he wants; (well, should I say my ‘assume’ he knows what he wants), because let us be real, not all of us know what we truly want. God is the only One that will make it clear as to what we desire. We don’t always know everything, and when our emotions are amplified, it makes it twice as hard. You do not want to be treated like a leftover half bitten cake, that is left out until it eventually rots. You must understand that your worth is in your wait, not your questions. The more questions you keep asking about how long it will take, the longer it WILL take.

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God won’t always reveal to you the things you want to know; He already knows if you are capable of handling it. He knows whether it is going to make you better or bitter. Sometimes, you will want to take the risk and find out information, once it has been said, it will either make you wiser, or pinch you where it hurts, and you will have to take responsibility for how you manage your emotions, because you did not decide to humble yourself and mind your own affairs.  I remember a time in my life where I wanted to know why my prayers weren’t met, and why they were taking so long to be met. But then I realised that me asking too many questions will not only affect my Faith, it could possibly affect my mental state, my emotions and even my health. Are you aware that trying to know everything at once can slowly kill? You have to discipline yourself and ask for the right balance to handle all situations that occur.

You need to stop giving yourself grief and treat your mind to a relaxation. Your Faith is stopped when you ask too many questions and wants to be inquisitive in everything:

  1. “Why did this person hurt me?”
  2. “I am 30 years old and still single, Lord, what is going on?”
  3. “Why can’t I get people to buy my property?”
  4. “Why haven’t I got any supporters? Am I that bad?!”
  5. “I don’t understand why she keeps getting blessed and not me?”

These above sounds very familiar. God won’t always reveal Himself to us when we are in our emotional state. You have to be willing to surrender your feelings, your ‘I can handle this’ attitude, and your pride/ego. You won’t know all the answers and you’ll have to be okay with that. I realised that asking too many questions from the Father and even family/friends caused me so much pain at one point, that it affected my thoughts towards people. I would ‘assume’ things are taking place behind the scenes, when really, people are trying to get on with their lives.

Do yourself a favour today; do not worry about unanswered responses; just breathe, calm down and relax. Learn to take each day step by step. Love yourself enough to not get distracted by anyone else. Embrace your inner and outer beauty before allowing someone else to do so. Don’t keep accumulating your mind with what other people are doing. That will not help you. We all have 24 hours in a day. Be willing to listen first, then speak and ask questions if necessary. Do not, however, let it affect what you believe in.

More importantly, develop and invest in an intimate relationship with the Father who knows you better than anyone else, and SURELY has your best interests are heart. Don’t compromise. Don’t cry, don’t beg. Work on having more Faith in God and stop asking so many questions. Too much of everything isn’t good. Learn to turn those questions into thanksgiving. Through your thanks, God will show up on your behalf. I am a living witness 🙂

Much love x

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I am in charge of my thinking!

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You sure are! You control the way you think. Each day you wake up, you can decide to do whatever you want. As for me, I enjoy spending my mornings with the Father, study my Bible, and praying for the day ahead. In 2010, I’d used just go ahead with saying a quick prayer and just have a shower so that I could start my day, but I really did not feel complete in doing this, so I had to change my routine. I wouldn’t think it’s fair to rush the quality time God gives us each day because we are preparing for work, or trying to avoid the early morning rush. I believe that it is possible to make time for God each day in the morning, and this is done through sacrifice. So, if you know sleeping at 2.00am in the morning will help you get ready for your 9.00am shift, you will honestly face the consequences.

You’ll feel tired all the time, rushing the time with your Heavenly Father, and not being as productive as you ought to be at work, It is advised that everybody should have a least 8 hours sleep every day. I usually go to bed on time so I don’t feel it’s a problem to me. I know others who have other major responsibilities but still get the time to rest well and wake up refreshed in the morning. It is the way you position your mind to be that will enable you to start your day with joy or frustration.

The way you feel today is not dependent on what other people do, or what they tell you to do, but is solely your responsibility. If you choose to be happy today regardless of what comes your way, you will make the most of it and add joy to your life; if you choose to wake up miserable because you know your day is filled with heavy workload, you will feel as if you can’t take it and eventually snap out. I remember when I was on the train going to see someone, and all I just kept seeing is working people sleeping away. This was in the early hours of the morning. In my mind, I thought, what kept them up all night for them to be sleeping on their way to work? Now, please do not get me wrong here, have a 9.00am to 5.00pm full-time job is not easy, and I really respect people who do it, however, staying up late and even over-thinking are the two barriers that stop your mind from flowing effectively.

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I can relate from the mindset perspective. I honestly think a lot! Very good things though such as my future, what plans I aim to fulfill in the next 3-5 years, my financial status etc. All these are so important, but I have to keep telling myself that there is a time for everything; a time to think about the future and a time to rest. Let’s look at an example; you have an exam worth 3 hours of your time; the paper is hand-written, but your mind is wandering off to your next expenditure coming out of your account for your rent. You are aware that you have not studied well enough to pass the exam, but you still go and give it your best. Would you think this person will pass their exam? I personally believe that most of our time, we focus on the right things but at the wrong time. Yes, the person knew that the rent was due, but at the same time, the exam was approaching. This is a 3-hour exam! Have you had an exam for 3 hours before? It really is not easy!

You are in charge of the way you think. You choose to be happy, you choose to be at peace, you choose to be at rest. Despite what is happening in our world and even social media, these things should not limit you from fulfilling your dreams and maximizing your full potential. When God is in all your life’s circumstances, be rest assured that He will make every crooked way straight (Isaiah 45:2). I usually have an action plan that I aim to follow every day, and most of the times it does go to plan, but other days I just don’t feel connected to them, and it is not because I am lazy, but my mind keeps reminding me of so many other things that are not even as important as I expected. I’ve learned to discipline my mind, and even if that means to deactivate my social media channels to gain attention and focus more, then so be it. You have to control yourself on how you view people on social media; if it causes you to change who you are, then you’ll have to critically analyse yourself and ask where these thoughts are coming from. Offences can spread on social media, so it is vital to learn how to master your emotions and control them from controlling you. Don’t be someone that takes offence of every little thing, it really won’t help your growth. Limit the way you take offences and learn to give them to the Father. Constructive criticism is key too!

We all know what takes us off track; we know our distractions, but why not do yourself a favor and analyze yourself and be sincere; ask yourself what is taking my mind away from my tasks? I was reading an article today from Jon Bloom Author, Board Chair, and Co-Founder of Desiring God and he gave this beautiful quote which says:

“Whatever it takes, Lord, increase my awareness of my dependence on you in everything so that I will continually abide in you by faith”.

It takes a positive individual to have this prayer in their heart, to enable their mindset to be solely on the Lord so that when trials and tribulations come their way, they’ll have enough Faith to stand despite the storm. Your dependency on God will allow you to have increased joy and peace. Your mind won’t be controlled by emotions anymore because you have chosen to abide in Faith and stand firm. You see, God is not just concerned with you asking Him for a positive mindset, He is also asking you to show Him how much you want to change through your Faith and Belief in Him. I can ask Him today for a financial increase, but the motive of my heart is what He is looking at. Our minds give us the power to achieve anything we put our hearts into, but how many of us are ready to take this on board? When you ask the Father for a new job, and you receive it, are you ready to work extremely hard with long hours, because you did ask for it!

I have to keep reminding myself that I have to be very careful about what I pray for because I might just get it. This is very true! If you don’t believe me, ask Him for what you desired 3 years ago, and see if He will grant it to you. And when you do receive what you’ve asked for, be willing to WORK HARD to maintain it. Don’t be lazy and quit because when you sought the Lord, He listened to you the first time and gave you your heart’s desires. So do not feel the need to give up now just because it’s hard or you can’t continue.

Remember we all have 24 hours in a day, so there is no need looking at the way someone else is running their life; you have got your own race to focus on, and this is the time to pick yourself up and be a better you! You are not a cheap imitator of someone else. It’s not about saying ‘Oh, had I known this course was going to be so difficult, I wouldn’t have done it’. But that is how you learn and grow and it teaches you to be careful of what you ask for because you’ll be responsible for handling it. On the contrary, focus on how you can bring positivity back into your life, and make someone else do the same. Be the influential individual and not to allow people to influence you. Stand out from the crowd by being one of the first people in your family or inner circle on how to control the way you think.

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Apply it in your place of work too! A lot of the times, especially on a Monday morning, it’s not always easy being motivated because the weekend just ended and how the weekday has started. Change your mindset to a ‘working hard mode’ and strive for excellence. The more you do this, the more you’ll effect those around you to do the same, which therefore increases productivity and decreases staff turnover. If there are more people going out of a business than coming in, there is an issue. There must be balance above all, or else the business will collapse.

Change the way you think, and see how your life will continue to blossom. It won’t happen quickly, but gradually. Remember, you have full control of the way you think; you are the one that makes the decision to whether you desire to be happy all the time or not. Even those who don’t always get their way can sometimes smile through their pain and keep it moving. This is another level of maturity that we must to, and it takes the Grace of God to help us get there. More positivity = a greater mindset! Wake up each day knowing that something good is going to happen, and to be honest, it is most likely to happen when you put God first in your schedule.

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My Mind Has A Life

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We all have our individual lives to live; nobody can take our place. We make decisions, we wake up to attend work, go to the gym, eat, drink, rest, sleep etc. Your life is very precious, so do not take it for granted. Your mind contributes to the success or detriment of your life. How consistently positive is your mind today? The more you use your mind, it is feeding your life in the way you desire it to go.

When you strive to be positive at all times, life also will be positive back to you. The same applies to being good to people, people will also be good to you. You will see the fruit of your labour by doing good. Your life is centered on your mind because they both work hand in hand. It is vital to consider your thoughts, and ensure they are meaningful. Life itself won’t always be fair, I can surely guarantee that. But despite it all, there is something unique you learn about your circumstances. I can honestly that if I did not go through what I went through in my previous years, I would not be the woman I am today.

Thanks to my Father, I can confidently say I am in a much better place than I was back then. My thoughts are becoming like His thoughts, the Peace that He gives me is greater than the storm that tries to overwhelm me. I basically just don’t take any notice of distractions, neither do I try to entertain them anymore. My mind is solely focused on His Presence, and being positive at all times. Before, I could only seek God in bad times, but even when things are going well, I still endeavour to make an effort with Him, because He truly deserves my time.

Who are you giving all your time to? Is that person feeding you positively? Are you gaining anything from them? It is so important that you do not base your life on people and what they say to you. It is good to get good counsel from people, but remember that not everyone has the right to speak into your life. Words itself are so powerful that when it is uttered, it cannot be taken back. Our words shape our character, therefore, our character shapes our lives. When last did you assess your character? Any issues? Be honest with yourself, it will help you.

The human mind wanders on so much, that until we learn how to discipline what we think about, it will overwhelm us and make us complacent. When the storms rise, and people fade away, set your mind on the God who is stable now and forevermore. The fact that God knows your life more than anyone else gives us a very GOOD REASON as to why we must endeavour to keep our mind eyes on Him. He knows our end from our beginning. But just to remind you, that God does not show us everything about our life at a time; it happens in stages. I remember this time 3 years ago, I did not have the vision to write a book and now I am an Author of my latest book ‘It’s Time to Heal’. I am saying that my mindset had changed because I couldn’t keep up with the constant rejection of looking for jobs, and depending on people to help me, so I had to use what I already owned to turn it around for my good. Today, I receive so much positive feedback regarding the book, and I can only thank God for it.

Was it easy? No, it wasn’t but I had to keep feeding my mind with positivity. You will never get where you want to be until you change the way you think. Your mindset is as strong as super glue. Once you use superglue to mend a broken object, you will see how FAST the glue penetrates on it. That is the say way our minds should operate. Our minds should be quick to be positive and fruitful. What kind of fruit are we showing other people? This is another area that we all, including myself, must work on. How do people see the good in us so that they can glorify the Father in Heaven for our lives? We want good people around us right? But are we doing the right things such as serving people, praying for people, giving people a helping hand, supporting people etc? It is very easy to want to be on a pulpit to speak, but what are your motives? What is your mind saying? Do you want people to see you, or see God IN YOU? There is a difference between the two.

Our minds are sensitively critical and we must always learn how to think positively. The best way to do this is to study the Word of God. In your quiet time, take every opportunity to study the Word based on the mind. You will see that a lot of people in the Bible had worrying issues such as Peter who was scared to walk on water for a while (Matthew 14:22-33) or the Rich man who was so reluctant to give his riches away (Mark 10:17-31). This is what most of us are going through today in our generation. We are afraid of certain things, and I am not saying that fear will automatically leave your life once you have finished reading this message, I am saying that when you change your mind around, you will see different results.

If Peter trusted Jesus at the time to walk towards Him on water, he would not have sunk; this also applies to the Rich Man. He was so rich that when Lazarus was poor, he didn’t give him anything. When Jesus said in order to inherit eternal life, the Rich Man should give his possessions away and give your money to the poor, the man’s face fell and went away sad, for he had many possessions. Why are you going to be afraid of giving not even up to 10% of what you have to people less fortunate than you? Because his greed was too much. This is what happens when you have too much of everything. Your mind eventually becomes stingy and hardened that you refuse to help people, for fear of not receiving it back. This should not be so. When God blesses us with finances and our hearts desires, that should be the opportunity where we learn how to give freely. As I stated earlier, people will know you by your fruits, and what you are carrying. Are you carrying positivity around, or a heavy heart?

Your mind has a life, so feed it well and do not go astray. When you are stuck at a crossroads, seek the One that will direct you back to Himself. He knows your life more than you. He knows your tomorrow; you don’t, so allow Him to take control.