Deal with your Chatterbox!


The key is keeping yourself to yourself. Keep your mystery, Don’t give them too much information so they can’t define you. 

There is great power in what we utter from our lips; not just to other people, but also importantly towards ourselves. What have you been telling yourself lately? What have you been feeding your mind with? Have you been condemning or putting yourself down? Or have you been allowing others to put you down? Have your words taken you by surprise and ripped your confidence apart? You are the individual that controls the way your life is heading towards. As soon as you speak a negative word, it starts to manifest and without realising, you magnify those thoughts which become words. On one hand, we must be so careful of how we speak to ourselves, because what you say is likely to happen.

Are you aware that not everybody has the right to speak over your life? Are you guarding your heart against the words of people who tell you how to run your affairs, not allowing you to make decisions of your own? I have been there and it is not comfortable. Before, in previous years I used to be afraid of what people thought about me and how they perceived me to be. I realised that it was just self-torture, giving somebody else the authority to speak over my life was not going to be the case anymore. So the Lord taught me about ‘self-acceptance’ because He didn’t want me to be addicted to people’s words, but to always remember that He has the final say. He taught me to love myself and not allow people’s words to change who I am, nor did He want me to speak about other people. It is one thing to have a positive group of people around you, but when life hits you unexpectedly, and you encounter various trials, the same people who were with you in the good times, can tend to be the same people who will blame you for your crisis. You just never know, that is why we ought to guard our hearts, our words, and our emotions.

Some things just do not need to be said. There are some incidents that may have caused you to stumble, and people keep bringing it up. That is not helping your inner man becoming a better person. It is causing you to break down and turn bitter. Now if you are someone who enjoys talking about others, whether to bring their reputation down, or because it feels satisfying, it probably could be that you are envious of what they have, and does not give you a good look. You are wasting precious time, and the energy it took for you to bring someone down, COULD have been the same energy you used to lift yourself up. That could have been your opportunity to speak life into your broken areas because speaking about others really is a reflection of who you are, not them. It is time-consuming to fill your mind with what other people are doing. We must learn to mind our own affairs and keep going with our lives. If people do not want to tell you what they are going through, don’t feel you that you cannot be trusted, but be happy because it is not good to know too much about a person.

I remember recently having to look back over my life and do some deep reflection on the people who are surrounded by me, and had to honestly ask myself if I had any issues, because I was determined to be free from the thought of conflict and strife. I have made mistakes in my life and I do not hide them; I had an issue with a friend, rather than venting to the Father, or the person directly, I’d tell someone else which did not help the issue, but made it twice as difficult, because the people who are not involved will give their own opinion based on what they ‘feel’ is right. Unless God has not directed you to someone, then it is best to be silent because our words are currently being recorded by the Father. God has been teaching me about the importance of silence, because you don’t have to voice out everything you feel. There are some things you keep to yourself and allow God to have His Way.

You see, people are watching you; the way you talk, the way you walk, the amount of influence you have. People will have so many opinions of you; you will be familiar with those who define you from your past mistakes, bring up your faults to expose you in order to cover up theirs, but my question for you today is: ‘How do you handle the chatter?’. Can you stand to be blessed? Can you still keep serving God while people are talking? Can you still be yourself while everyone is leaving your life gradually? I know it is not easy, and I know it is uncomfortable, but the chatter you hear from other people is preparing you for the road ahead. The way I see it, the more people talk about you, the bigger the blessings you will gain because you will testify and use it as an opportunity to share your own story that though people talk about me and say unpleasant things, God is still on my side, and I have nothing to worry or fear about. But please do not misunderstand me, it is not everyone that will speak negatively about you. Please have that in mind because it would be a shame to keep beating yourself up, allowing your emotions to get the best of you, making it seem that nobody is expecting you to thrive.

Banke Jemiyo says: “Detoxing is not just for the body but for the mind and soul also. From time to time it is wise to evaluate and detach from the people, habits and behaviours that are doing you more harm than good”. 

Not everybody is out there to get you. Some are blessings in disguise to control you from talking too much, and giving out information that should have been kept between you and the Father. There are some good friends that will tell you the honest truth in love, not to see you break, but because they genuinely care. However, if you keep allowing your thoughts to control you, you will not miss the importance of using discernment and chastisement. Remember, God disciplines those He loves (Hebrews 12:6) so it is very good that we learn to master our thoughts and when we have good people in our lives that tell us the truth, we honestly do not know how blessed we are to have them around :).

So ask yourself today, how are you doing with your words? Are you talking too much about people who you are failing to reach your own Destiny? Are you aware that time is so precious and you will never get this day back? What are you doing with the days God is allowing you to live? Our chatter can get us into trouble. Rather than celebrating people and praying for them, we don’t want them to do well. That is selfish and very immature. We will all receive what we have asked the Father for, but how much do you want your life to change? It is not only about taking people’s opinions into consideration, because remember: OPINIONS ARE NOT FACTS. How are your words impacting other people? Are people’s words making you a better person within and without? Please REFUSE to allow anyone to hold you back for their own satisfaction. It is good to be separate from those type of people, it is highly frustrating to be around people who only talk about the success of others and not doing anything about their own. We all have an individual race to fulfill.

Everyone reading my blog post today has what it takes to be THE BEST VERSION OF THEMSELVES.

You are not in competition with me and I am certainly not in competition with you. There must be a balance in everything we do. The Bible warns us against talking too much or being overly talkative. In fact, the Bible says that “a fool can be recognized by his many words” in Ecclesiastes 5:3 and 10:14  Remember, a fool is thought wise if they keep quiet and very good at using discernment if they hold their tongues. Those who feel compelled to give utterance to every thought in their heads usually end up in trouble. Remember for every action, there does not need to be a re-action. You do not need to re-act over every situation you encounter, whether someone tries to bring up your past, or deliberately provokes you. You are wise when you are silent because your power is in silence. 

Our talking limits and blocks God’s voice in our lives. When we encounter pain so deep for words to express, it feels right for the human mind to retaliate and fight back, however, a wise person will fear the Lord and seek Him for guidance. Rather than writing an indirect status on Facebook and Twitter, be direct with the Father who knows all things. You really need to ask yourself if your words are edifying and important. If they are not, cut it out. Do not mention someone’s elses situation to a 3rd party. This is not wise. Restraining our lips is an indication of wisdom and humility. Talkative people often do not take the time between their many words to choose what they are to say carefully. Christians should be aware that talking too much is detrimental to our witness in the world, as James reminds us, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” according to James {1:26}.


Although controlling the tongue is one of the hardest things to do, we have the help and support of the Holy Spirit that will guide our thoughts and minds to say what is needed at the relevant time. Just as the overly talkative person displays foolishness, the one who holds his tongue demonstrates knowledge and understanding because:

 “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit” (Proverbs 17:27).

We can’t gain knowledge if we are constantly talking, but understanding comes from listening and using our words sparingly. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (James 1:10). Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few (Ecclesiastes 5:2).

Assess your own life before you assess someone else’s, and let your words be short, sweet and simple.