F-O-C-U-S

Focus Focus

F-O-C-U-S:

FOLLOW

ONE

COURSE

UNTIL

SUCCESSFUL

Focus is your friend. Focus enables you to function in your assignments and tasks. Focus reminds you that you are not in competition with anyone. Focus enables you to set your priorities straight. Focus will teach you the importance of remaining whole. Focus will give you a positive outlook. Now if I may ask, where is your focus going? Is your focus going to your past or your future? Shouldn’t your focus be on where you are now? The majority of us today look at how bright our futures will be but fail to apply it to our present. You may be going through a rough time right now, but do not allow it to stop you from being focused on your day. Remember each day is precious and you cannot afford to lose track.

I remember having a discussion with my friends few weeks back, and we were talking about focus and where we desire to be in the next few years. I had to remind them that each day has its own troubles of its own so there is no need to keep worrying about what has not been accomplished. It is not always easy because we do require specific resources such as food, drink, money, our jobs, our cars, our education etc. I do however believe there is a strong difference between thinking about these resources and dwelling on them. You can think about them by not allowing your mind to be consumed, but being sensible with what you already have, relative to dwelling on what you don’t have, worrying yourself to sleep due to insufficient funds or having to re-sit for exams.

God has given us all the free gift of self-control (Galatians 5:22-23), so we must be very intentional on where our focus goes. With self-control, it enables you to discipline your mind from wondering and thinking beyond your means. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that “He makes ALL things beautiful in His time”. So why should we wake up worrying about what we don’t have? Our focus should be on one thing at a time, but it takes a disciplined mind to be consistent in this behaviour. Today is the 30th May 2016. Why dwell on the 31st May? Let today do what it needs to do, and allow God to take over. We are not in control of the days that pass us by, HOWEVER, we are in control of where our focus travels to and how we can apply self-control to it.

Remember that whatever you focus on controls you so be very mindful of where the mind goes. The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new. Be intentional about where your mind travels to. Do not allow anyone let alone yourself speak defeat. You are more than what people say. Take each day at a time. If you are thinking too much, spend quality time with friends and relatives, take a break and go on holiday, spend intimate time with the Father, go to a restaurant you’ve never been to before, get to know new people. These things will take your mind off your problems. More importantly, be surrounded with like-minded people who make you happy and see the BEST in you! Carrying around dead-weight is draining and this is one of the reasons people lose focus so remember to take authority over what is taking so much of your time. If it is social media, take a 2-week break from it. It seriously won’t hurt you.

Ultimately, look at what you do have, and let it work for you. Have this scripture in mind “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness, and ALL other things shall be added unto You” – Matthew 6:33. When you are focused on things, you will lose track, but when you focus on God, ALL things will follow you.

Remember -FOLLOW ONE COURSE UNTIL SUCCESSFUL!

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Mental Discipline

Mental Discipline 1

It’s mental discipline that sets one apart, the ability to think differently, and to generate energy in the right direction!

Don’t work against God by tearing yourself down!

Reaching Destiny requires you to monitor how you talk to yourself!

Our words shape our future and Destiny. When it seems too much, I just relax in His Presence and allow Him to minister to me. It is not always easy as it seems because we have placed s o much emphasis on achieving certain things in a specific time frame. But sometimes, God will come in and wreck your plans, because He does not require you to do His job. He knows the right time to bless you, so it is critically important that you humble yourself and take life one step at a time.

When God gives you a chance today, it does not require you to think about tomorrow or the next day. You don’t have to give yourself overload and worry yourself to an extent where you don’t know left from right. I have been there so many times, and honestly, when my mind is all over the place, I get headaches. This should not be so. Why worry about what you don’t have when God can use the little you have to expand and bless you? All this time God was showing me that when I am Faithful with the little, I will be Faithful with the big things (Luke 16:10).

This brings me to my next point which is to LET GO AND LET GOD. We have heard about this so many times; to let Him take the wheel, but how many of us sincerely have given our all to God? If you have given every burden, every fear, every worry to Him, each day should be an opportunity to dwell on positive thoughts, and trust that He is working behind the scenes for your life. I have been in many situations where I’ll be thinking about what to wear or who to date, or when to get married etc, and in as much as all these are important, I refuse to not allow it to stress or get the best of me. Is it really worth worrying about what you don’t have? Where is your Faith? Do we have to go back to basics?

Faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). God does not bless FAKE FAITH, no no no. He knows you by name, He knows your thoughts, He knows how much belief you have, so no matter how much you try to cover it up, your Faith will be tested. We all have different levels of Faith; some have passed the test whereby they encounter serious issues that not a lot of people will understand, but in the end come out stronger. Some, on the other hand, are still in the process of developing their Faith. They say “I am rich”, but the next day they look at their circumstances and say “I can’t get through this”. Your words are powerful so what you speak shall come to pass.

I am in a season that is so sacred and refuse to allow myself to speak defeat. I choose to be intentional about discipline because I know it is a key ingredient for attracting Peace into my life.

Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV) says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God (7) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. 

How accurate is this scripture in your season right now? I don’t take this lightly at all. We are in a spiritual battle every day with our mindsets, our health, our relationships, our finances, but through it all, GOD STILL REMAINS FAITHFUL! No matter what you may be passing through today, know that when you allow the Father to come into your heart, He will minister to you by His comforting Power and Perfect Peace. He wants to give you that Peace that surpasses all human understanding. So do not fear or be discouraged. Will this life be easy? No, but with the pain and confusion comes greater blessings and joy. It takes an intentional mind to be at rest with God and themselves.

Today, choose to discipline your mind to think positive thoughts. You don’t have to get everything done at once. Life is a process and you won’t understand everything about it. God is mysterious and He works behind the scenes for us, so do yourself a favor and discipline your mind. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2). Do not allow your situations to define you, nor what others think about you. You are on a journey for yourself, so develop being a better you. When you realise and discover the wonderful and unique plan God has for you, your problems will serve you. You will never understand why the pain you are going through is too heavy now, but in the end, it will work for you. Those times you tossed and toiled and fought with everyone, you will realise that discipline is working for you.

In order to deal with life’s challenges, discipline is required. Don’t act as if you know it all because we honestly don’t have it all together. As I keep saying, it is good to be broken and vulnerable to the Lord. Don’t hide your story. Your story is unique and will set someone free. You are special, and know that God is consistently working on your mind, but you have to play your part too. We are in a spiritual warfare battle every day, but regardless, you can make a change. You may have a severe illness, but declare that you are strong. You may have lost your job, but you can use the remaining finances you have to set up a small business, you may be confused about the person you are dating, but you can open your heart to the Father for Him to speak on your behalf and grant you peace.

Maybe someone in the past has hurt you and you are finding it hard to forgive. Remember in my previous posts I stated that ‘forgiveness is a gift that you give to yourself’. It is allowing you to be free, so don’t put yourself in bondage by holding on to that burden and allowing the enemy to use it against you. You have to be strong in all you do and speak life into your situation. Do not allow someone’s offence to be a hindrance to you, but instead, discipline your mind and thoughts to see the best in them, because the way you perceive someone is how you will view them to be. Your mind is a powerful tool so feed it with discipline and reap beautiful results. The mind is not against you, it is what you say to the mind that produces results and what you feed your mind determines your appetite.

Luke 6:45 (ESV) “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks”. 

Your mouth can be used to lift up or break down; you decide. Discipline your mind, thoughts and words to be a better individual and see how God will change your life around. A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering. Just like running a race, in life mental discipline requires that you train your mind to go beyond what you think you can endure and then you discover the joy of accomplishing things you never dreamed as possible, but with GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Mental Discipline

The ‘Deception’ of Ourselves

Deception 1

Deception & pride is concerned with WHO is right; Humility is concerned with WHAT is right.

Who are you really? Are you trying to put on a front for people to accept you? What are your motives behind what you do in your day-to-day life? These questions require genuine answers. In a world that is influenced by society and material possessions, as believers, we should be reminded that our worth is always in the Lord Jesus Christ. Let nothing in this world take your mind away from the True, most Holy One.

When you wake up every day, what is the first thing on your mind? Is it God? Do you think about what you are going to eat? How about what you are going to wear? No matter our thoughts, we must come to realise that what we think about before we wake up is likely to follow us throughout the day. When your mind is fixated on God every morning, your day will be filled with His goodness! I am a true living witness to that. However, I cannot say that I have been consistent with Him at every moment, but I do get back on my feet and carry on. That helps me to know that I am not deceiving myself. You see some of us today want others to ‘see’ that we have it all together, but it is good to be broken and vulnerable. Why do we hide our insecurities? God can see them all. Or do we just hide them from man? You see, there is a comparative difference between the two. Some hide their fear and pride from God, and others hide them from man.

You can never hide anything from God; you are just wasting your time if you do. With man, on the other hand, there are some things you can hide from them. You had a quiet divorce recently that you don’t want your girlfriends to know, you lost your job and now you are using your savings to keep you going, your secretly a spiteful person but you smile at everyone just to allow people to ‘see’ that you are being nice. These things God understands. Yes, at times our speech can be very spiteful towards others, but why is this the case? Don’t think just because your neighbor is dressed to impress and looking fleeky.com means that she has it all together. Some put on a show to cover up the pain; the make-up, the nice hair, the car, the partner etc, all these things can be cover-ups for the real anguish within ones’ heart.

Deception

Ladies, I cannot emphasise enough how GOOD it is to be broken in the eyes of God. We will not always have it together, do you know why? Because pride is likely to kick in. We will start to think that we have come this far in our lives, but we must always have in our minds that if it were not for THE LORD that was on our side, we would have been CONSUMED (Psalm 124:1-2). David knew that if the Father was not on his side, he would have been defeated, but he humbled himself saying that he is NOTHING with God. We must have this same mentality, to not always think that we must have it all together and that we can still be used whilst in pain. David was in so much agony that in 2 Samuel 22:7 he said “In my distress I called upon the Lord, to my God I called. From His temple, He heard my voice, and my cry came to His ears“.

When you think you have everything all together, you won’t be able to pray like David did. It takes a humbled-minded person to be naked with God and tell Him the real deal. Tell him how bad it hurts, although He already knows. Most people would say “but why do I need to tell God my pain if He already knows?” Well, why not? Remember His word says that we should cast our burdens onto Jesus for He cares for us 1 Peter 5:7. The Father knows your weak points, that is why He wants you to cast them over to Him. He may not get you out of the situation when you want Him to, but He promises in His word to be WITH YOU! This is something to be very happy about! Do you know how long I have been wanting God to take me out of my predicament? But He kept telling me, “I will be with you”. That was the comfort I needed to keep me going in my journey with Him.

Rather than me thinking, I had it all together, He was reminding me that He knew everything that had happened to me, and all I had to do was relax and know that He is God. There is no point trying to fix every detail of your life, He is the best craftsman to fix it up for you. Stop trying to do Gods job and allow Him to work in your life. We deceive ourselves in so many different ways. The usual: “How are you?” then you say “I’m fine, thanks”, with that smile emoji…. Remember if you do not have it all together right now, it is for a good reason! God wants you to be reminded that without Him, nothing can be made possible. You won’t be able to see the fruit of your labor if you keep doing everything by yourself. Remember that it is God that gives you the Power to make wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18), and without Him, everything you planned to achieve will just fail. Quit choking yourself up, swallow that pride and let Him have His way. At the same time, I know how it feels to hide your pain away, but you can’t hide it from the Father. Some hide their pain due to fear and shame but there is simply nothing to be upset about. Your pride doesn’t want you to leave it, but you can’t allow it to keep you bound all the time. 

Girl, if you are not fine, please be honest. No one is going to look down on you because you may not have it all together. To be honest, there are some ladies who are waiting for you to be vulnerable towards them so that they too can be real with what they are going through. Yes, it happens at times. I was usually a quiet person back in my days, but now as I am walking closer with the Lord, He has enabled me to open up to the right people, but most importantly to Him. God does not want you to keep lying to yourself thinking that you have it all together. Yes, you can say “it is well” but do you REALLY BELIEVE IT IS WELL? Or are you just saying it because it sounds nice? Remember you don’t have to lie to make others happy. Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight (Proverbs 12:22). Remember, you have to be HUMBLE ENOUGH to say that though he slay me, YET shall I trust Him (Job 13:15).

Deception 2

You are the one that must take responsibility for your life and actions, and eventually, you will enjoy the benefits of Gods Grace. Recognise when something is dead in your life, whether it is a friendship, a relationship, an addiction, all these things must be rectified and put to bed so that you are free from what kept you bound in the first place. The deception of ourselves can be dangerous if we are not sincere. Remember that God is not moved by your emotions, HE IS MOVED BY YOUR FAITH. Bishop TD Jakes kept saying in some of his recent sermons that why do people think Christians always have to have it all together 24/7? Let us be real here, who is going to be happy 24/7? Yes, we have the Father and we SHOULD be happy that we have life and can breathe, but can you honestly say you are happy every second? There will be some things that will come to memory and will trigger you. God knows that we will have heavy days and painful moments, but through it all, He is willing and eager to help us along the way. You just have to be true to yourself.

He knows that we will have shortcuts, but does that mean we should deceive ourselves by saying we have it all together? Remember that you do not control your life, God does because the steps of a good man are ONLY ordered by Him (Psalm 37:23). Our steps are being led by the Father, and this is where deception will eventually rub off because God cannot bless a proud heart. He can’t be surrounded by people who want to control their lives and the decisions they make. Who are we really fooling by working so hard to make everyone around us look as if we have it together? Do you know how much effort that takes? Ladies, it is effort! You can’t keep worrying about how others define you as. Do you know who YOU are in the Lord? Are you allowing people to define you by how they see you, or your past mistakes? You can’t be victorious if you are going around seeking approval from man. God is the One whom you seem for approval and validation.

Man will love you and hate you tomorrow, but Gods love is unconditional!

Come out of your comfort zone and be free! Stop allowing deception to get the best of you! You are bought with a precious price and don’t need to put the whole burden on yourself. Why not allow the Father to take your pain away? Learn to be consistent with the Father, day-to-day. Never allow a day to pass you by where you don’t tell Him how you feel. It is very important that every false assumption, every negative pride, every boastful heart is surrendered to God before you start your day unless it will keep following you around. It is draining and does not help matters at all. Give yourself the Peace you deserve and allow the Father to heal you from deception. In order to be healed, you have to always walk in the Spirit, meaning that you have to study the Word day and night (Joshua 1:8), and meditate on it. Pray over what you have read and ask the Father to help you apply it. We can all be INTENTIONAL about studying God’s Word and make it fun!

Galatians 6:7-8 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life”.

Invisible Pride

Pride

Sometimes we will encounter different situations that cause us to react according to the way we feel in that instance. When someone offends you, your first initial reaction would be to defend yourself and fight back. But have you considered whether the person was joking around? This is where you need to put your discerning cap on. It is crucial to ensure that you are not walking around in bitterness or pride. We are all limited resources and there is so much we can do for ourselves and those around us.

When I greeted a friend recently, she walked past me although she responded, but without stopping to look at me and say hello. I didn’t get offended by it because I realised that we all have our own battles to face. Little incidents such as comments on how your body looks, gossiping about people to your friends, taking offence when people don’t invite you out is simply not necessary for you to throw a pride-party or get into a defence mode.

For every action, there does not need to be a reaction, else you will be giving the enemy satisfaction.

There are some things that God would not want you to worry about, especially offences. Offences today is leading so many of us to be anti-social, bitter, proud and selfish. Pastor Alex Adams speaks about the importance of love and how we should go beyond the first level of loving those around us, but striving for the second level which is to love your enemies and do good to them. Honestly, it will not be easy, but love is a powerful tool that encourages a healthy mindset of peace. If you love only those that love you, what is its true purpose? Yes, from a worldly perspective we choose who we love, especially those who we feel have made us happy, but those who have caused us pain, we hate, backbite, and put them down. As a believer, do you think this is necessary? Remember we are all human, and whether you are a believer or not, we still have a responsibility to show love and RESPECT even to those that spitefully hurt or use us.

I do believe, however, there is a strong level of discipline when showing our enemies love but from a distance. I recently spoke to a friend about the importance of love and how Jesus is the true definition of love. Why do I say that? I say this because when the Pharisees was contemplating about stoning a woman to death regarding her affair with another man (John 8), Jesus challenged them by saying that if anyone has not sinned let them cast the first stone. The Pharisees wanted to see if Jesus would stone the woman, but thankfully His Mercy saved her. Jesus does not have any pride in Him, and neither should we. He knew His position with the Pharisees and didn’t speak negatively about them. This is a new level of love that if we are to see real change in our lives, we must learn to adjust our lens to the way we see people and love them.

Jesus loves each and every one of us and is not a respecter of persons. A proud person may not realise that it is embedded in them until they are able to see where they have gone wrong and be willing to be open about the issue. When I feel in my heart that I go astray, I apologise to the person I’ve offended ensuring that no bitterness or pride raises its ugly head. Every battle you face starts in your mind. You will know when pride gets the best of you; sometimes, it is invisible in that you cannot see how bitter you are until someone truthfully tells you. You have to be willing to hear the truth from your loved ones as it will set you free (John 8:32). However, you have to be open-minded. Remember Jesus did not need to raise an argument to fight the Pharisees; all He had to do was speak in parables and give examples to keep his critics quiet, and that is the best way to kill ones’ pride.

Pride 3

There will be instances, or should I say patterns of people who are guaranteed to walk out of your life, and you must learn to love them when they come and love them when they go. Life is too precious surrounding yourself with people who drain you and never see the best in you. In your own season right now, remember God will shake things up, and if that includes taking people out of your life for your own good, it will happen. The Father does not want any of us to be surrounded or influenced by pride or negativity. It is very unattractive to be seen as someone who has too much attitude. As queens of the Most High, we must be the few lights that stand out in this world, to comfort, encourage, empower and protect our sisters who are filled with so much pride that they forget who they are and eventually end up doing something foolish. Pride is an enemy of PROGRESS!

Our world today needs love, comfort and compassion, but it starts with YOU. So today, make a decision to check your heart; see where you have gone wrong and make amends. You know yourself more than anybody else. See what you can do to get rid of your ‘I I I’ mentality and invest quality time with your sisters to bring out the best in them. Remember it is not always about you, but think about your neighbour. Do you know if they are going through a hard time? If they are, make the most of it by asking, when they are confident enough to inform you, that is the starting point to prevent pride from occurring. Do not boast about tomorrow, for no-one knows what tomorrow will bring. Do not flaunt what you have in front of your friends, you don’t know what could happen in the next second. Learn to humble yourself and be content with everything you have. Be HUMBLE and blessings will find you.

Nonetheless, in order to help your sisters in need, you must learn to fix your own mess, and be willing to open up and be honest and sincere about it. No matter what you have done, do not allow the pride you cannot see to prevent you from being free. When you have pride it stops you from receiving blessings, because the Father cannot bless a boastful heart. He can only bless a heart that He sees is honest and knows where they’ve gone wrong. David in the Bible had that character of honesty, generosity and humility. When he committed adultery and murder, he was aware that he did wrong, and decided to confess everything to the Father, and that is where he received freedom. Psalm 51 talks about how David asked the Father to create in him a clean heart. He did not allow his faults (pride) to get the best of him but willing to open up and apologise for the Lord to have Mercy on him. How many of us today can honestly say in our hearts that we apologise for the things we have committed in the past or present? Whether it is to family, friends, loved ones and even ourselves; when are we going to let pride die in our lives and stop it being a slave to it?

Pride should not allow you to make decisions ladies, you have the POWER to control the level of pride that comes your way. God will give us so many opportunities where we can be true blessings to people around us. A classic example is where a friend tells you they are struggling to complete an assignment. You know you have what it takes to help your friend, and refuse to give the friend support; that is pride. Pride prevents you from being caring and generous because pride is all about you. Do not live a life revolving around you, you will end up lonely and bitter. Learn to adjust and adapt to different cultures. This is what is missing in our world today because cultural variety is beautiful. We must always have hope in everyone and see the best in them. That way pride is buried and freedom begin.

To conclude, there are two types of pride: positive pride and negative pride.

Positive Pride – A pleasant exhilarating emotion that results from a positive self-evaluation

Negative Pride – Refers to an inflated sense of one’s personal status or accomplishments

You make the decision. 

FAITH, HOPE AND LOVE, BUT THE GREATEST ONE IS ‘LOVE’.

Do not let negative pride get the best of you. You are too expensive for that!

Pride 1

Blessings

x

Who is speaking to you?

Ear 2

Whoever has your ear has the power to control you in various ways. I never realised how powerful that was, but from a psychological perspective, you are controlled by who you open up to. When you are going through a tough situation, it is firstly important to know how to discern who to tell, and who not to tell. There will be situations that just require you to search for the Father so that He can give you His direction on who to open up to. Speaking to people about your problems is not a bad thing, however, it can become so addictive that you forget to humble yourself and seek the One who knows you more than others. It is vital to know who has your ear and what they speak over your life. Remember that people can have a strong hold on you if you allow them to. When someone tells you to do A, they do B, and you will be the one feeling bad because those who know you very well also know every weakness so when they jump, they too want you to jump with them. If you don’t do what they say they cut you off.

When I have a problem, I usually go to the Father, but at times when I get frustrated and uneasy, I am very quick to go to a friend. Yes, we have all been there don’t raise your eyebrow…it is natural to go to a bestie, your husband, your spiritual leader etc, these people are not wrong, but sometimes people will give you advice based on how they handle their personal situation and when you apply what they have told you to your situation, it will result in a whole different situation that you did not expect to happen. I’ve realised in this season that some people won’t always be around; it is not that they are bad people because I too must remember they have their own battles to fight, they have their hurts and pain. Some may not be as open but the best thing for me to do is to give them space, however still have love in my heart towards them.

It is one thing to assume and cut someone off based on how you feel (your emotions) than to allow God to minister to your heart and remind you that He will never leave nor forsake you. This is His promise (Hebrews 13:5). No matter your season, learn to open your mouth to the Father, and it is not just telling Him what you need, but also being CONSISTENTLY ACTIVE in prayer too. When you pray, allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you on what you say because if you are not careful, you can repeat the same prayers over and over again and realise you are in the same position you started. Be careful at the same time who you let pray for you. There will be times that you’ll have to refuse certain prayers in case people’s spirits are negative. How will you know when ones’ spirit is negative? Through discernment and prayer. These are your two greatest tools that must be around you at all times. Do not take them for granted as they are very powerful.

Ear 1

Be careful who you let touch you also because some are carrying dead-weight of past faults. I’ve realised that people tend to find pleasure in remembering your past and still want to be your close associate. There needs to be a distinct level of discipline and discernment in these situations. I am not necessarily referring to the physical touch of a human being, but even when walking on the street together, and randomly a friend brings up a situation that happened quite a few years ago. You will pause and think what is this person’s motive? Why do people usually bring up your past? Because they are going through their own pain and want comfort so instead of confronting their own issues, they bring yours up to make them feel ‘normal’. Sis, those people are not your friend. You can’t keep having someone who consistently draws you back to your past. That friend who keeps speaking to you about what you did 3 years ago is preventing you from reaching your Destiny. Anything you do without telling them is allowing them to control every aspect of your life, but today I say take your power back because your life is too important for it to be wasted.

Refuse to be the woman who will stay down and break! Let go and let the Father take control. Those who truly love you will speak positivity in your life, they are the people who want you to do well, regardless of how many mistakes and break-ups you’ve had. A true friend is someone who will speak LIFE into your situations, they will encourage you to never give up on the Father and have you in their personal prayer time. They will speak well about you even when others are saying spiteful things. You will know who is speaking positively or negatively in your life; how will you know? Just by listening to what they speak about. Are your conversations always about the other person? Do they ask about your welfare and how you are doing? Yes, we are Christians, but God did not create us to allow people to walk all over us. We must be able to confidently let people go if their conversations and not edifying or healthy.

I want all women that are reading this post to know that God understands the depth of your pain with friends and even relationships too. He has been through it so He can relate to us. My role is to ensure that you stand firm as a strong woman and not allow anything including past friends, present friends or future friends to get the best out of you. Yes we will all hurt each other, it will even sting when we let go of that friend who constantly drains us, but you must understand that what people speak into your life can have such a detrimental impact, and if you are not wise enough to discern the motive on what people say, you can be bound by what people see you as. A question for you to think about is: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE? WHO HAS YOUR EAR TO YOUR DREAMS AND VISIONS?

If you are the type of woman who has to keep changing for your friend to like you, or you are always making the effort to make a conversation, then you have to take a step or two back to see if the friendship is worth going ahead with. Are your friends only there to celebrate with you on that new job you received? Or will they celebrate with you when you get engaged? These people are only there for the good times, but how about the bad times? Are they calling you up to see how you are doing? Are they praying for you and encouraging you in hard times? Remember it is not everyone you can take with you on your journey. Learn to stop carrying dead weight and let God take over. You cannot control your life and your friends and expect the Father to just clean up after you. No, it will take SACRIFICE to seek Him for help, even if that means taking time off social media and less socialization and in particular having ‘YOU’ time. Yes, it will offend some, but those who love you will understand the decision you are making.

The more we grow older, the more we are aware of the attitudes and characters of people that we learn to speak with Him more than anyone else. I am in a season where God is teaching me to always seek Him first! I am better than I was a few years ago and continue to strive hard to do so. It takes an intentional mind to be disciplined enough to spend time with Him, not only informing Him how hurt you are but also asking Him to avail Himself to do His Will. Give yourself the peace you deserve to let go of some people because even Jesus Himself knew beforehand that Judas and Peter were going to betray Him. Although it was painful, He learned that man will always fail us but God will never. Jesus should always be our greatest example of humility, love, peace and in particular those who you should allow to speak in your life. Remember talking about people reveals your true character, not the other person. Want to talk to someone? Tell God what is going on because He is the ONLY one who can change someone’s heart.

Not everyone will be happy for you. I mean come on, how many times have we heard this? It is happening so much in our generation today, and that is okay because God did not create you to be a people-pleaser. He wants you to be your authentic self without having to justify every decision you make. Do you know how draining that is? Waking up each morning putting yourself down just because you made a decision that will benefit yourself? No sis, that is not good. Do not allow the enemy to steal your joy because you want to be free from what held you bound. Take everything back that the enemy stole from you and fight back. It is not worth you losing your hair, your time, spending money anyhow, doing foolish things just for a friend to stay in your life. I have been able to let people go in love, and it is not because they are bad people, but they just can’t go where I am heading towards. Remember God does not always keep people you expect to be in your life, listen to my videos on YouTube: Esther N J “My journey at university” and “Friendships are expensive”.

Blessings.

Ear