As you can see from the title, it does take time to tell the full story. From my own personal journey, I have found some things quite difficult opening up to people about, but I knew that there would be a right time for everything in its season. I don’t know what you may be facing today or going through, but just know that what you are going through should not cripple you from reaching your goal. I had times where I would fight myself and even the enemy would make it worse by keeping me bound through making me feel worthless and that no-one is around, and I’ve come to realize that in this small amount of time we have, being transparent to others about what goes on in our lives is one of the greatest ways to receiving freedom and true healing.
Everyone has a story, some stories are more intense than others but it still makes an impact. No matter the story, you don’t know how much power there is unless you tell someone what you’ve had to face. I had to face a few years looking for a secure job in Marketing that I was so eager to do because I felt at the time that was what everyone was doing, particularly new graduates. When you graduate, you would assume that the next step is to work full-time to make a good amount of money, whether it is to fit in the social scene or feel secure in your position, but God did not take me to that route. I had so many rejections from companies that could not even be specific as to why I was refused to work for them. In that amount of time, I decided to seek the Lord in prayer, fasting and taking time off social media which benefitted me greatly and am so glad where I am today :). It really is not what I expected (More to come soon!)
I knew it was the only efficient way to hear from the Lord by taking time off social media, and I tell you, when you are struggling with an issue, it is very difficult for God to speak when surrounded with other distractions. It may not necessarily be distractions such as social media per se, but distractions such as over-thinking, stressing, getting frustrated with everyone, or even taking it out on your loved ones. We must remember that in as much as we are upset about our issues, we have other people surrounded by us who are also hurting. We must put in our hearts that the pain people cause us, we may have also caused others. Have you personally considered that yourself? Have you sat down to ask ‘have I made someone numb with my words?’. It’s not a lot of people who can honestly answer this question simply because those people are focused solely on themselves. They don’t think about their surroundings because their minds are being controlled by their obstacles. May I tell you that this is a very dangerous path; it causes headaches, stress and a lot of sleep. Some choose to sleep the pain away but remember you have to get up at some point. There is so much sleep that your body can take.
Nothing GOOD in life will come easy, and your story may not even be aligned to what you planned for your future, but remember ‘He that began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ’ (Philippians 1:6 ESV). Most believers have positioned in their mind that everything is going to be fine just because they know God, but God is so mysterious that sometimes He allows painful situations to happen even when we do not initiate it. It is NOT because He does not care, but He is using our pain to draw us closer to Him. If everything in your life was perfect, would you sincerely seek Him the way you should? It is only when you encounter problems that your heart races to the throne; that is when your vulnerabilities are shown. And this is why I believe today that some of us have not received our full blessings because our motives aren’t really to serve God and others, but to feed up on ourselves. Now this is not an easy topic to talk about as the truth hurts, but it must be said. Remember you won’t always have it all together and that is fine. Some people are full of money, fame and pride but they are lonely, and this is what commits people to suicide and low self-esteem.
Furthermore, we don’t always think about others, we are human so it is very easy to constantly dwell on your life and what you need to achieve, which is not a bad thing. However when it becomes a consistent habit of ‘I I I’, it will drain you to an extent that you will heap so much pain your burdens will gradually weigh you down. Due to pride, you refuse to allow people to know what you are really going through, so you buy the latest bag, the most expensive dress, the car that you commit to paying monthly for, just to hide your insecurities. Yes some of us have been there, but that won’t take away the depth of pain. Your story is so powerful that it takes time to share it. Some people won’t always understand you, some will judge according to how you look. I recently spoke to a sister of mine and she said that if someone was to look at me, they would assume I am working in the most prestige company, but they don’t truly know the struggle that I face within. Remember Matthew 7:1 says ‘Do not judge unless you too will be judged’. You can see a woman driving the latest car, but have you asked her privately how she copes with it? If she is ready to tell you, you are very blessed because it shows trust and humility, but as I stated earlier, it is not everything you can tell about your story straight away.
A friends instinct will alert to her whether she can open up regarding the situation. A wise woman knows that she does not need to be 100% open about everything, but only topics and issues that relate to her inner circle. So for example, when I was in the process of getting rid of my spots, I mainly spoke to those who had spots themselves and asked them for advice on how to get rid of them. Even at the time I told a friend about my spots, she only said ‘use this product or use that product’ and I tried it, but to no avail. That was when I spoke to another friend who already endured the pain of her spots, she was open about how it broke her in reference to low self-esteem and how it had an impact on her outer beauty. Those are the kind of people you need in your life if you are struggling with a specific topic. On the other hand now, if it was broad or general topic then you could have a get-together and be free to express yourself.
It could even be relationship problems. You see potential in this man, but you sense in your heart that he may not fully be for you, so you open up to someone wiser and with more experience because you know that they can relate straight away. For those who truly know me, I am the kind of person that will not open up to you if you have NOT been through what I’ve had to face. I can honestly relate to women in reference to beauty because I struggled with overcoming my spots up to 4 years and that was my own personal affliction. Now your affliction may not be physical appearances, it could be character issues, negative behavioral patterns, pleasing people who don’t matter, soul ties, past mistakes; these things can hinder you from achieving so much in life that you stay bound. But I am here to tell you to come out of your comfort zone and step out into this dark world full of pain that needs to hear your story.
Your story will change the lives of so many women if you only open up. Yes, it will take time but is so worth it in the end. Remember nothing you have been through will be wasted! You need to see your problems as catalysts that promote your story into encouragement and empowerment. Your story should not be hidden, yes you may not be ready to say everything, but little here and there won’t do you harm. Even Hannah in the Bible (1 Samuel 3) when she was barren and could not have a child, this crippled her to an extent where she nearly lost all hope, but she knew that when she opened up to the Father, He would answer her, and guess what, He really did! Despite her rival Penninah who was able to give birth, Hannah’s concern was not to retaliate down to her level, rather it was an opportunity to share her personal story with the Father to receive her breakthrough.
Whatever you are going through today, know that your story matters to people. A lot of times it is not just personal issues, it could even be successful stories of how God blessed you with a beautiful husband or even a gorgeous baby, or even a good job, but there are so many women that may not be able to give birth due to several reasons, or even commit to being in a relationship or even securing a well-paid role, and sometimes telling people your story too soon can accumulate jealousy and envy. I have come to a point where it is not about me promoting my blessings too soon, but allowing the Father to do so in His time.
‘YOU SHOULD NEVER BLOW YOUR TRUMPET TOO QUICKLY BEFOREHAND, YOU MAY END UP LOSING YOUR AUDIENCE’.
(Esther, Founder of WWCG)
If you do not know how powerful that statement is, then you need to check your motives, because a mature woman does not need to express everything about what she is facing. The Bible says there is a time for everything in its season. Our motives in telling people our story could just be to receive praises or get more recognition, especially when it comes to social media and materialistic possessions. What is your real motive in putting up a picture of you posing with your car? Is it really necessary to do that? How will others benefit from looking at your picture? Are you encouraging women that it is possible to fulfill their dreams or are your motives solely about you and how to get attention?
We are blessed with so many gifts; some writing books, some setting up multiple online businesses, some doing hair etc. You are responsible for knowing your motives as no one can read your mind. At times, the Holy Spirit will convict us when our motives are purely about ourselves, so He will make our surroundings uncomfortable and make us surrender our pride to Him. Every day we see is a blessing from God so do not take it for granted by dwelling on yourself only. Learn to understand that there are people around who are seriously hurting more than you think, but don’t have the courage or boldness to speak for fear of being judged. Remember it is okay to be broken because that is where God’s strength is shown in your life. God always shows up much better when we don’t always know the answer and I am talking from experience.
To conclude ladies, I hope this message touches you, and if you know of any woman who is currently struggling with their situation, kindly share this post. Remember not everyone is going with you when you reach the top, so be very expectant for the critiques but be bold! Whether it means you have to cut them out of your life, kindly do so. I personally found this hard at the time when I was weak, but now that I am growing wiser I’ve come to realize is was the best decision I ever made. Not everyone needs to know your story, it just takes TIME to tell the full story. Don’t feel guilty for not telling people every detail of your life because you were not meant to. It is only the stories that will elevate and encourage people who you must share. You cannot give your ear to everyone because that will cost too much.
Few points to take with you:
- I do not look like what I am going through
- My story is expensive to tell and I must ensure I discern who I should open up to
- The issues in my life make a big difference in someone else’s
- I refuse to keep my life low-key
God richly bless you and remember your story matters.
Your Story, Your Purpose, Your Destiny!