It takes time to tell the full story…

Story

As you can see from the title, it does take time to tell the full story. From my own personal journey, I have found some things quite difficult opening up to people about, but I knew that there would be a right time for everything in its season. I don’t know what you may be facing today or going through, but just know that what you are going through should not cripple you from reaching your goal. I had times where I would fight myself and even the enemy would make it worse by keeping me bound through making me feel worthless and that no-one is around, and I’ve come to realize that in this small amount of time we have, being transparent to others about what goes on in our lives is one of the greatest ways to receiving freedom and true healing.

Everyone has a story, some stories are more intense than others but it still makes an impact. No matter the story, you don’t know how much power there is unless you tell someone what you’ve had to face. I had to face a few years looking for a  secure  job in Marketing that I was so eager to do because I felt at the time that was what everyone was doing, particularly new graduates. When you graduate, you would assume that the next step is to work full-time to make a good amount of money, whether it is to fit in the social scene or feel secure in your position, but God did not take me to that route. I had so many rejections from companies that could not even be specific as to why I was refused to work for them. In that amount of time, I decided to seek the Lord in prayer, fasting and taking time off social media which benefitted me greatly and am so glad where I am today :). It really is not what I expected (More to come soon!)

I knew it was the only efficient way to hear from the Lord by taking time off social media, and I tell you, when you are struggling with an issue, it is very difficult for God to speak when surrounded with other distractions. It may not necessarily be distractions such as social media per se, but distractions such as over-thinking, stressing, getting frustrated with everyone, or even taking it out on your loved ones. We must remember that in as much as we are upset about our issues, we have other people surrounded by us who are also hurting. We must put in our hearts that the pain people cause us, we may have also caused others. Have you personally considered that yourself? Have you sat down to ask ‘have I made someone numb with my words?’. It’s not a lot of people who can honestly answer this question simply because those people are focused solely on themselves. They don’t think about their surroundings because their minds are being controlled by their obstacles. May I tell you that this is a very dangerous path; it causes headaches, stress and a lot of sleep. Some choose to sleep the pain away but remember you have to get up at some point. There is so much sleep that your body can take.

Nothing GOOD in life will come easy, and your story may not even be aligned to what you planned for your future, but remember ‘He that began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ’ (Philippians 1:6 ESV). Most believers have positioned in their mind that everything is going to be fine just because they know God, but God is so mysterious that sometimes He allows painful situations to happen even when we do not initiate it. It is NOT because He does not care, but He is using our pain to draw us closer to Him. If everything in your life was perfect, would you sincerely seek Him the way you should? It is only when you encounter problems that your heart races to the throne; that is when your vulnerabilities are shown. And this is why I believe today that some of us have not received our full blessings because our motives aren’t really to serve God and others, but to feed up on ourselves. Now this is not an easy topic to talk about as the truth hurts, but it must be said. Remember you won’t always have it all together and that is fine. Some people are full of money, fame and pride but they are lonely, and this is what commits people to suicide and low self-esteem.

Furthermore, we don’t always think about others, we are human so it is very easy to constantly dwell on your life and what you need to achieve, which is not a bad thing. However when it becomes a consistent habit of ‘I I I’, it will drain you to an extent that you will heap so much pain your burdens will gradually weigh you down. Due to pride, you refuse to allow people to know what you are really going through, so you buy the latest bag, the most expensive dress, the car that you commit to paying monthly for, just to hide your insecurities. Yes some of us have been there, but that won’t take away the depth of pain. Your story is so powerful that it takes time to share it. Some people won’t always understand you, some will judge according to how you look. I recently spoke to a sister of mine and she said that if someone was to look at me, they would assume I am working in the most prestige company, but they don’t truly know the struggle that I face within. Remember Matthew 7:1 says ‘Do not judge unless you too will be judged’. You can see a woman driving the latest car, but have you asked her privately how she copes with it? If she is ready to tell you, you are very blessed because it shows trust and humility, but as I stated earlier, it is not everything you can tell about your story straight away.

A friends instinct will alert to her whether she can open up regarding the situation. A wise woman knows that she does not need to be 100% open about everything, but only topics and issues that relate to her inner circle. So for example, when I was in the process of getting rid of my spots, I mainly spoke to those who had spots themselves and asked them for advice on how to get rid of them. Even at the time I told a friend about my spots, she only said ‘use this product or use that product’ and I tried it, but to no avail. That was when I spoke to another friend who already endured the pain of her spots, she was open about how it broke her in reference to low self-esteem and how it had an impact on her outer beauty. Those are the kind of people you need in your life if you are struggling with a specific topic. On the other hand now, if it was broad or general topic then you could have a get-together and be free to express yourself.

It could even be relationship problems. You see potential in this man, but you sense in your heart that he may not fully be for you, so you open up to someone wiser and with more experience because you know that they can relate straight away. For those who truly know me, I am the kind of person that will not open up to you if you have NOT been through what I’ve had to face. I can honestly relate to women in reference to beauty because I struggled with overcoming my spots up to 4 years and that was my own personal affliction. Now your affliction may not be physical appearances, it could be character issues, negative behavioral patterns, pleasing people who don’t matter, soul ties, past mistakes; these things can hinder you from achieving so much in life that you stay bound. But I am here to tell you to come out of your comfort zone and step out into this dark world full of pain that needs to hear your story.

Your story will change the lives of so many women if you only open up. Yes, it will take time but is so worth it in the end. Remember nothing you have been through will be wasted! You need to see your problems as catalysts that promote your story into encouragement and empowerment. Your story should not be hidden, yes you may not be ready to say everything, but little here and there won’t do you harm. Even Hannah in the Bible (1 Samuel 3) when she was barren and could not have a child, this crippled her to an extent where she nearly lost all hope, but she knew that when she opened up to the Father, He would answer her, and guess what, He really did! Despite her rival Penninah who was able to give birth, Hannah’s concern was not to retaliate down to her level, rather it was an opportunity to share her personal story with the Father to receive her breakthrough.

Whatever you are going through today, know that your story matters to people. A lot of times it is not just personal issues, it could even be successful stories of how God blessed you with a beautiful husband or even a gorgeous baby, or even a good job, but there are so many women that may not be able to give birth due to several reasons, or even commit to being in a relationship or even securing a well-paid role, and sometimes telling people your story too soon can accumulate jealousy and envy. I have come to a point where it is not about me promoting my blessings too soon, but allowing the Father to do so in His time.

YOU SHOULD NEVER BLOW YOUR TRUMPET TOO QUICKLY BEFOREHAND, YOU MAY END UP LOSING YOUR AUDIENCE’. 

(Esther, Founder of WWCG)

If you do not know how powerful that statement is, then you need to check your motives, because a mature woman does not need to express everything about what she is facing. The Bible says there is a time for everything in its season. Our motives in telling people our story could just be to receive praises or get more recognition, especially when it comes to social media and materialistic possessions. What is your real motive in putting up a picture of you posing with your car? Is it really necessary to do that? How will others benefit from looking at your picture? Are you encouraging women that it is possible to fulfill their dreams or are your motives solely about you and how to get attention?

We are blessed with so many gifts; some writing books, some setting up multiple online businesses, some doing hair etc. You are responsible for knowing your motives as no one can read your mind. At times, the Holy Spirit will convict us when our motives are purely about ourselves, so He will make our surroundings uncomfortable and make us surrender our pride to Him. Every day we see is a blessing from God so do not take it for granted by dwelling on yourself only. Learn to understand that there are people around who are seriously hurting more than you think, but don’t have the courage or boldness to speak for fear of being judged. Remember it is okay to be broken because that is where God’s strength is shown in your life. God always shows up much better when we don’t always know the answer and I am talking from experience.

To conclude ladies, I hope this message touches you, and if you know of any woman who is currently struggling with their situation, kindly share this post. Remember not everyone is going with you when you reach the top, so be very expectant for the critiques but be bold! Whether it means you have to cut them out of your life, kindly do so. I personally found this hard at the time when I was weak, but now that I am growing wiser I’ve come to realize is was the best decision I ever made. Not everyone needs to know your story, it just takes TIME to tell the full story. Don’t feel guilty for not telling people every detail of your life because you were not meant to. It is only the stories that will elevate and encourage people who you must share. You cannot give your ear to everyone because that will cost too much.

Few points to take with you:

  • I do not look like what I am going through
  • My story is expensive to tell and I must ensure I discern who I should open up to
  • The issues in my life make a big difference in someone else’s
  • I refuse to keep my life low-key

 

God richly bless you and remember your story matters.

Your Story, Your Purpose, Your Destiny!

Story 1

 

Advertisements

Stay Awake!

Stay awake 3

Make it a habit to be consistent in your homework, assignments, deadlines, commitments, health and everything else that adds to it. It is important to always remain positive regardless of the attacks coming your way. These attacks unfortunately you cannot avoid, and it will be uncomfortable, but you must learn to let go. Don’t try to solve these issues on your own. Most times, it has to do with the way we think. Our mind-sets are automatically used to handling things, or keeping it to ourselves. I am a witness of this as I tend to keep certain things to myself. Is it always easy telling people what I am going through? No, not at all, but we can’t do it alone. There is truly a time for everything, and you will need to adapt to the different pressures of the world and your own personal life. Regardless of whatever comes your way, if you are able to stay awake and stand strong, you will come out the other side.

God sees our tears, nor is He exempt from them. We cannot get our answers solved in the world, friends or even family at times, and yes God does give us good people around us, but we can’t solely depend on them to meet our needs. God requires us to stay awake and seek Him every second of our lives, lest we fall into the hands of the enemy. When something is troubling you, are you the one to tell your friends? Do you seek a spiritual leader? Or do you run to God and find Him? Finding Him in chaos will enable you to stay awake for the up-coming attacks. It is not avoidable. It is good to go through certain situations to make you realise that without God, you can do nothing. There are times where I feel in my spirit that I am not to keen on certain people; instead I make an intentional decision to seek the Father, rather than people because it will keep spreading, and by the time it comes back to me, I’ll be hearing different opinions like ‘Chinese whispers’. Why put yourself in that position? It is draining if you keep dwelling your mind on what others think about you. People will never stop talking about you, whether you have it or not; it is the world we live in today, BUT we have a solution! Carry on reading…

Stay awake 1

Romans 12:2 says that we should renew our mind. Now we hear this scripture so many times but fail to apply it because we seek approval quickly. We do not want to wait on God, so we try to get advice from outside. Being able to renew your mind effectively means to keep your spirit awake too. Remember the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). The flesh always wants to attack the spirit, but you have the power to control it. I’ll tell you why. You are aware that fire is extremely hot. No one in their right frame of mind would put their hand on the fire and leave it there for 5 seconds. Unless that person has lost their mind, but relatively speaking, you would be alert for any form of fire to touch you, whether it is your skin or clothes. Your instinct will inform you in advance that the fire is dangerous and can potentially kill, so you will stay away from it. This also can be applied to negative thinking; change it into positive thinking so that you can stay awake from the traps that try to entangle you. The enemy will only attack you when you fall short. If you give in to laziness, depression, stress, anxiety, anger, resentment, bitterness, all these things will be eating you up bit by bit. It will be slow, but as the days pass by, you will be arrogant, and reserved, and the painful thing is that people around you will see the struggle. Some would want to help but because of your stubbornness to open up, you let your anger control you.

The enemy knows that once we open our mouth and shout “HELP” he has to go back to where it belongs. Please ladies, I employ you to stay awake in this time and age we are living in. So much is happening and we have the responsibility to remain focused. Remember people will change, situations will change, family will change, but God will never change. Our real focus should be on Him and all other things will be added onto us. Do not take the burdens you face into your own hands. “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil is like a roaring lion, walking about seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Stay awake for your life because the enemy knows all your weak spots. He is literally keeping awake to wait and see when we fall so that he will hit that part where it hurts the most. We are all human and we will face days of pain, no matter how much you want to cover it up with make-up or money; none of these things can take the pain away because they do not last.

Stay awake

Do yourself a favor and rest in Him. Why is your focus on what other people are doing? I previously stated in my ‘Be Yourself’ video on YouTube that ‘the right people who love you will come your way, so don’t force it’. If you are so Faithful to negative energy that you forget who you are, you will fall flat. You will keep sleeping weary and waking up weary all because you have chosen to dwell on the negatives. My friend, the enemy knows your weak areas and until you take authority over your own life, he will start tormenting you from your past situations. Choose to be free because of how far you’ve come. It is not good to stay defeated and think sleeping will take care of it. Yes sleep is good, but your body is going to have to get up at some point.

Keep yourself active by going for a walk, travelling, going to different restaurants, meeting up with close friends, having family time and other fun activities that will involve you to not be idle. Being idle causes you to think too much, and puts you in a state of being double-minded about life. The Father dislikes a double-minded person, and we must learn to rise above how we feel and make an intentional decision to make our lives the way we want it. Staying awake will enable you to be aware of the attacks that come your way, even the ones you did not initiate. When you are walking with God, He will show you the things you could not see and show you were more support is needed. We all need to know what we can do to get better right? Whether it is to assess your character, your mouth, your lifestyle, these are all important and needs a daily check up.

Stay awake from corrupt talk because it will save you a lot of trouble. I cannot re-emphasize on this enough because when we face challenging situations, it is easy to run to people. But today I am challenging you to really seek God. Even when your mind is tempted to say something unkind about someone, learn to keep your mouth quiet, because life and death is in the Power of our tongues (Proverbs 18:21). You may not realise that what you say starts from a small seed which eventually grows and germinates. Now refer to yourself, what does your seed look like? Before you cover it in the soil, what are you speaking over that seed? Is it life? Is it death? Do you believe that seed will create good results? Remember that whatever you say to yourself will come to pass; on the other hand what you say about others will also come back to you. If you sense your surroundings being negative and filthy, the best thing to do is walk away. You do not owe any explanation because you already know people’s intentions. You don’t need to waste time ‘listening’, just walk away in silence, because it is only a fool that decides to stay in a conversation that does not concern them.

When exam season is approaching, you are intentional about passing those exams. So what do you do? You sacrifice your time by refusing to watch TV, getting involved in other people’s problems, de-activating all social media platforms and putting your head down to work. If you are distracted at home, go to the library or a friend’s house to study. You will see how effective it will be once you allow this to be a routine because your main purpose is to pass your exams. Some are very good at studying by themselves; others are good when they work as a group; either way you must learn how to stay awake in these periods and not get distracted. Most times distractions will come when you have priorities. When you have 7 exams in one month, distractions such as health, emotional issues, past situations pop up unexpectedly, but you have the power to stop them controlling you.

Staying awake means using your ability to control what controls you. It has to do with the mind and what you say over yourself. From another angle, your physical eyes are what we use every day to see. If you know watching certain movies late at night is not going to benefit you for another day, why watch it? You can control the things you watch. In addition, when you see someone has a new car, are you going to get bitter because you don’t have yours? What your eyes see, your mind will follow on from it. Your eyes communicate to your mind. Your eyes will tell your mind to control the way you think, so they are both working hand in hand with each other. When your eyes see a beautiful dress, your mind will tell you to try it on at the shop. Once you like the dress, your eyes will now look at shoes and jewelry to complete the outfit. Do you get the pattern?

To conclude, do not allow your mind to travel so far that it breaks you down, but learn to stay awake when troubles come your way. Problems are unavoidable because it is in those uncomfortable environments that our true strength is birthed. Strength is not birthed from when you are at the top, it is birthed when you are at your lowest. So stay awake in every situation and don’t worry about what comes your way, they are there to remind you to be alert because our troubles produce great triumph.

GET CLOSE TO GOD FIRST BEFORE GETTING CLOSE TO ANYONE ELSE. GOD WITHOUT MAN IS STILL GOD BUT MAN WITHOUT GOD IS NOTHING!

Stay awake 2

The Deceitfulness of Power

Power

According to Martin Luther King Jr, he defined power as:

“The ability to achieve a purpose. Whether or not it is good or bad depends upon the purpose”

Power is a good skill. You can use power in all manners of life; power to overcome your struggles, power to endure the painful seasons, power to change your negative habits, power to influence many around you. This kind of power is effective because they are not selfish motives.

  • The Power to overcome struggles – This is a self-directed responsibility that must be handled with care. There are some people out there who don’t have the ability to surpass their struggles. Struggles can include things such as eating habits, gossiping, sleeping too much, procrastinating. But what is important here is to set yourself an action plan or write down the negative patterns that occur in your mind. Once any negative pattern occurs, tick beside that struggle. If you have overcome your struggles, throw the paper in the bin as a sign that you will never go back to that issue. We all are struggling with someone; it is not always easy for people to see it though, because we dress our scars up, we wear wigs, we buy expensive clothes that we cannot afford to please a group of people who don’t care. You do not have to allow your struggle to take your time. This is why we have the help of  the Holy Spirit because it gives us Power to overcome, especially by meditating on the Word day and night (Joshua 1:8). Remember that our struggles does not define us, but should make us stronger, wiser and better. In every season, know that struggles birth out greatness, and it is okay to not know everything because this is where your Faith is being tested. We all struggle with something, whether it is personal, financial, academic, spiritual or mental. But staying in those struggles won’t set you free.
  • The Power to endure the painful seasons – I was in a painful season for 6 years when I was still at Dorothy Perkins. I thought I would never get out, because most of my friends around me got better jobs, were married, and enjoyed their lives. At that time, I was not fully mature to understand why God had held me back so much. I had to face 6 years of working in a store that I thought I’d have to work in for the rest of my life, but thank God He moved me out just in time. I endured a lot, but through that season, I learnt and experienced God’s Faithfulness because without Him, I would have given up and potentially may have been in a worse situation, but I am in a beautiful season which I give thanks to Him. Maybe you are in a season of pain where people take your kindness for granted, maybe you are going through a lot with finances, maybe you are struggling to pray to the Father. All these things I can relate to, however it does not give you the right to stop and give up. When you give up, you are giving up on your power. God has given each and every one of us a power that is suitable on our level. He will never give you someone else’s power because He made us all unique. We are all unique beings and must learn to appreciate our season. Yes it is easier said than done, but with consistency and perseverance, we will get there.
  • The Power to change negative habits – How many of us can honestly say when you wake up, you feel de-motivated? You don’t want to do anything because you have tried everything and nothing has worked out for you? Sometimes our negative habits can become our worst enemy. You would assume that those around you are planning for your downfall, but you have the power to rise up and speak life in your situation. Why give the enemy satisfaction by giving a reaction? I have come to realise that I am the one who puts myself in a position of doubt. When I receive news that is unexpected, I would not expect myself to roll on the floor and lose my mind; instead I choose to remain calm and ask God for His strength to overcome this negativity. Remember that there are people around you and look up to you. If they hear that your words are foul, do you really think they would want to be around you? Let us be honest here, having negative thoughts is natural, but AGREEING with them is not an option! You have every right to take back every negative thought that comes to arrest your mind. When I attended Pastor Kika’s conference on the 6th February 2016, she spoke about how the enemy muzzles us; in other words, when we are about to receive our breakthrough, the enemy keeps you still because it knows that there is Power in our words. It is up to you to stay bound or break free. I choose to break free because I did not go through all I experienced for nothing, just to settle for second best; no no no I want God’s Plan A for my life and I am pretty sure you do too. So if you know you want God’s best, learn to change your thinking habits. Stop being so Faithful to negativity, it is only going to produce bitterness and resentment. The real issue here my friend is that you have the choice to determine in your heart to be positive. You should not depend on anyone other than God to make you happy.

Power 2

  • Power to Influence many around you – I informed a dear friend of mine recently that people are watching you. Whether you know them or not, they are watching. They are observing the way you walk, talk, dress and act especially to challenging situations. What do you want people to remember you as? To be in a position of power, God must be able to TRUST YOU to lead His people on the right path. He will not give the blessing to someone who is doubtful, especially if it involves leading a group of people. He is testing your heart, your character, your attitude and your lifestyle. Those around you can either be blessed or hindered by the way you speak, because when you start to think positively, they too will change their habits. It is equally important to think about those around you, how they are feeling, what they are up to, and how their relationships with others are going. Oftentimes those who are in leadership and do not have time for those around them often misuse their power and the ability to influence others. We are all important, no matter what position you may be in. I have to keep reminding myself that when I was a Senior Sales Advisor, God would promote me, and when He does, I would not even think to be-little someone who is a Sales Advisor, because I knew how it felt to be at the bottom. Instead I would offer encouragement and remind myself that if I can do it, so can they. An unsuccessful leader will remain ineffective and eventually you can end up losing your power and lead to poor relationships.

I deploy you to work to the best of your ability and utilise the power God has given you effectively. As a blog writer, I enjoy what I do; being able to make an impact to the younger generation as this is the gift God gave me. The ability to write is not my own doing, but it is the Power of God. Nothing I today is my own doing, and I dare not take any credit for it. Some are in the world and enjoy what they do because it gives them power to continue doing so. For example, Herod in the Bible sought to kill all the male babies in Jerusalem so there would not be anyone to heir the throne after him (Matthew 2:16). Herod was a cruel, paranoid and twisted barbaric man who had no passion for the things of God and nature and was hated by many. It is these kind of people who you must be aware of and stay far, because their power can rub on your insecurity. When you abuse power, people will start to mistreat you and lose respect. Power if not used properly, is deceitful, this is why I emphasize that when given Power, only use it to enhance people, especially those around you for you do not know who may be watching you. Everything we do on earth is being recorded, so no matter your position, use the Power God has given you in wisdom and with love. Remember it is God that gives us power to make wealth, not our positions or possessions, so ensure that they are not taking most of your time, but use it to impact those around you to make better decisions.

Power should only be used to elevate, not de-motivate; Use power for your own good!

Power 1