Perfection Vs Progression

PP 1Hello lovelies, today I shall be speaking from the topic of Perfection versus Progression. In an ever-changing world full of temptations to be like others, dress like others and even compete with others, it is becoming highly frustrating to keep up to date with current trends. What led me in this path of my topic; perfection vs progression is that the majority of women find it very difficult knowing who they really are. Some women buy products they cannot afford just to impress their friends. It is so dangerous trying to be a perfectionist when your inner character is sour. Your character says a lot about you. As they say beauty is not just on the outside, but also on the inside.

A lot of us today take so much care in how we look outwardly that we fail to realise that our inner being needs to be fed. I had the opportunity of sharing my personal testimony at the Empowered United Women’s Ministry Conference (more info on Facebook) held on Saturday 13th February regarding my journey at University and my physical attributes. My struggle in second year of university made me break out severely. I had no one to talk to regarding the way I felt because when one problem was solved, another one popped up. I did everything I could to get rid of my spots, but unfortunately it got worse and lost all confidence. I hardly went to church because I was so ashamed of the way I looked at the time. Eventually, when I stepped into my third year, I realised that God placed good room mates in my life and when my prayer life changed, the confidence I had towards my skin improved ūüôā


Looking back on it, I learnt that beauty is not just on the outside, but what defines beauty is dependent on how you see YOURSELF. It is not about how people view you because if you depend on people to make you feel worthy, you are like the man who looks at himself in the mirror, goes away and totally forgets what he looks like (James 1:24). Your beauty has nothing to do with having a flat stomach or a small waist. Try to not put so much emphasis on your physical appearance and start feeding your spiritual life up. When your spiritual life is consistent you will start to see gradual progression not just in your life, but those who are surrounded by you.

Perfection vs progression are always in battle! It is either one or the other, but you cannot have both. You either live to serve God or serve the World. 1 John 4:4 states that “Greater is He than is in me than he that is in the World”. The way the world is going today, only God can save it. Celebrities are making such influencing women from the way they dress (modesty) to the way they talk. I was having a discussion with my sister earlier on and was telling her about the power of prayer and how we must stand as one to speak LIFE over our women around the world who are being influenced by society. Women today want pleasure and attention, not realizing that it is¬†temporary satisfaction. But those who yearn for PERMANENT SATISFACTION (which is Christ Jesus) will never be disappointed.

The world WILL fail you but God WILL NEVER fail you. There is a difference. A lot of us place God as a last resort when things are not falling in place. We perceive God as a “Santa Clause” only going to him around the Christmas season giving Him all our hearts desires, and then have the cheek to go back to living our selfish lives. This is why at times, God will remind you of what crushed you in your past so that you will humble yourself and get on your knees to pray and seek His face. This is truly the starting point of progression, not just only in the Kingdom but in our every day lives. When you wake up to attend work or manage your daily house-keeping duties, people around will notice a glow in you and would want to find out what is it that keeps you smiling, positive and on your feet.

Wouldn’t you be happy to see your sister or close girlfriend changed by the renewing of their minds? (Romans 12:2). It would be amazing to see ladies in the Kingdom serve their sisters in that they will remind them of their true worth in Christ Jesus and draw them away from the world into His Peace. The world cannot give you Peace ladies, I have tried and it has failed me. As previously stated, you cannot please God and the World, you have the choice to choose. We will never be perfect until the day of our Lord Jesus Christ returns. We can try to be perfect in people’s eyes, but God knows you more than you know yourself. Stop wasting time trying to get people’s attention which you know won’t feed you positively. Be intentional and learn¬†to progress with the Father as your foundation and when He sees that you are Faithful to Him, He too will be Faithful to you.

BE YOURSELF! No one in this world can be like you and never will. I have come to realise that in my previous years, a few friends would expect me to do things their way not realizing that every human being has the right to speak out. For me, I was very timid and shy so I just had to do what my friends wanted me to. In other words, I would try to please them just to make them happy but inside I was crushed. They wanted me to look like them, act like them, dress like them, speak like them, but inside me there was a voice saying “You are better than this” ; “Do not give them so much authority over your life”. Those kind of situations gets you thinking so much. You start to wonder who you are, and if you really have a purpose in life, or you are just living day-to-day looking for a “motive”. Well, your motive should be to live for Christ. It is not about you trying to look or be perfect in mans eyes, but it is about your level of progression in the Kingdom. Your level of progression will enable God to reveal His Destiny for your life.

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This is why we go through tests, to see whether we trust God ENOUGH. When God blesses you with a gift, are you the type of person that will flaunt it on Snapchat or Instagram, or will you humble yourself, kneel down and thank the God that gave it to you? A lot of us today use social media as a form of ‘praise’ to get the world to notice us. But what I am trying to put across to you is “It is not about you, boo!”. It really is not about the shoes you wear, the clothes you buy, the perfume you put on or even the status of your salary. It is simply about Christ. Women must learn to die to their own desires and open their spiritual eyes to see that we have a duty to fulfill on earth. You don’t even know what your sister or close friend may be facing; just because she looks good on the outside does not mean you know her inner struggle. Instead of trying to get attention from social media, learn to distance yourself from the instant popularity from the world and make a change in your inner circle and eventually it will create a long-lasting cycle of progress in the Kingdom.

There are some people who look up to you without you even knowing. They ‘pree’ your Instagram and Facebook page to see if you are really living by what you preach. Do not be inconsistent in the choices that you make, instead learn to stick with the choices made. It could be the choice of taking a break off social media, it could be a choice of not buying clothes for a year, it could be a choice of cutting out certain friends in your life that you know have no intention helping you become better. All these sources of fast success will lead you in the wrong direction filled with regrets. God did not create us to live a life of regrets; He created us to worship Him despite our imperfections. In His eyes we will always be beautiful, but in mans eye’s we will be over the place. Man will always want us to work according to their schedule and what suits them, but it will seriously drain you if you are not wise to make a decision to say NO! Saying no is not being mean, you are saving yourself a lot of frustration.

It is so heart-breaking to see many women today committing suicide because they do not take the time to know who they really are. Hence this blog’s name; the Women’s Worth Conference Group, we are a group that enables women to identify their worth in our Lord Jesus Christ. When Jesus died on the Cross for you and I, He reminded us of our worth and said we have nothing to worry about. The world hated Jesus, and if it hated Jesus, it will also hate you (John 15:18). Do not be surprised when the world does not operate according to what you need, because what you need is not in the world, but in the WORD! You must take this on board for yourself Queen. No man, woman, mother, father, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, niece or nephew will tell you of your worth other than Christ. You may feel important when you have the latest Michael Kors bag but is that what you are here to do? Just to flaunt a bag? No sister, you are here on a mission.

You are here to feed yourself with the Word and apply it to this lost world who thinks revenge is the best way of solving everything. Some women enjoy fighting people physically and verbally, not realizing that time is running out and everything has its own season. If you are reading this message today you do not know how BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED you are! Take this opportunity to speak with God to find out what your purpose is. Once you have received it, use it for the extension of the Kingdom. Do not be selfish with your calling and feed on it yourself. Share with others that are struggling from all angles. Your purpose can save so many women in the world to know that they are worth it and that God hears every thing they pray about. In addition to this, please know ladies that GOD HEARD YOU! God sees all so honestly ladies, give it all to God now. The struggle is over! Stop trying to be a people-pleaser and be a God-pleaser. Nothing in this world can satisfy. His Word will never go away (Matthew 24:35). Learn to be broken and transparent in your time of vulnerability the greatest victory is when you surrender your all, your plans to be perfect and learn to wait on Him so that He can lift you up in due time.

God bless you!

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You are the door to someone else’s mission!

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It made me feel so uncomfortable knowing that I did not sense anyone around who would genuinely support me and my journey to Destiny. As the saying goes¬†no man is an island. The importance of having the right people in your life speaks so loud that you cannot afford to lose them. They are vital resources that enable ones’ dreams to flourish. Ladies, when we keep our eyes off our concerns and help someone else’s dreams, do you know how much PEACE it will grant you? I am not saying neglect your dreams and fully surrender to your loved ones, but rather than you ranting about how you will get your needs met, let God handle that because He knows the end from the beginning.

God knows what He is doing ladies; He is not exempt or aloof to your pain or desires. The best thing we can offer ourselves is Peace of mind. God’s peace really does surpass all understanding. I am so honored to know that when my mind plays games on me, all I just ask for is His Peace. In reference to my message today, I will be speaking from the importance of helping others in fulfilling their dreams. Most people wait for their dreams to manifest, until they can wholeheartedly help someone else. There are times where I have experienced supporting my friends in their time of need.

Time is very precious and it is vital to know who you are giving your time to. There is someone out there that needs your support to help them reach their Destiny. Rather than you fighting yourself in trying to deal with your problems, why not cast them over to God and help your neighbor instead? Imagine waking up every morning upset, frustrated, anxious, worried. Don’t you know that it will have a massive impact on those around you? You think your thoughts don’t affect others? Believe me they do! And it is highly important that you are responsible for how you communicate to yourself.

There may be some people in your life right now who look up to you as a role model, a big sister or even a close friend, and if you are constantly feeding your mind with negative thoughts, it may also rub on them. It is easier said than done to always be positive, but it can be developed ladies by being consistent in your thinking. You can look at your life from a positive angle and speak good things. You don’t always have to allow your mind or circumstances to control you. When you allow this to happen, you rob yourself of the Blessings that God has prepared for you. You may also not even realise that the person who relied on you for help will eventually leave because your character is affecting their ability to be themselves. I would not want to be in a situation where a friend of mine tells me that my attitude is not contributing positively in their life. You are the door (opportunity) to someone else’s struggles, so don’t take that for granted. People are watching your every move; what would you want them to think about you?

When you are able to support other people, it enables you to become organised. From experience, when I was in a sticky situation where my mind was all over the place, I could not get anything done and kept on doing the same routine all over again. But now that I have been through all the drama, I now take it one step at a time, to focus on one thing and then onto the next in order to see my way clear. Once this is done, I can then use my time to support others. Ladies, no matter what you want to become, you will need a strong support system. It is not only money that can support your dreams, but your brothers and sisters around you. Let us learn not to take people for granted as we are all limited resources. There is so much that we can offer to our neighbor that you would need to set yourself a breaking point so that you won’t give out too much. Remember you also have your own needs to sort out so there has to be an element of balance.

I emphasize¬†balance in my previous video on YouTube¬†“Friendships are Expensive”. You must learn to set yourselves limits when helping your friends. It is not everyone you can help, however you can work according to your own ability. You may have a close friend who may have the same or similar vision as you. No matter how occupied it gets, check up on that person. Let that person know you are thinking about them and supporting them through prayer. The best support you can truly give someone is prayer, and I say that because I have experienced a time where me and a friend had a dilemma, and was giving her real encouragement. When your neighbor is down, you do not stay down with them; instead you encourage them to RISE UP and face the challenge head on. I would not expect a real friend to comfort me when I know there is a solution to it. It would be very painful to see an opportunity go due to self-pity. Sometimes, your battles require you to get up and fight until your victory is won.

There are some who are looking up to you for advice; it may be Spiritual advice on how to study the Bible better, it could be how to study the right course so that you can get a solid job at the end of it, it could be someone starting up a ministry and needs a mentor for support. Ladies, if we truly know the gifts we have, we dare not hide them making ourselves feel useless. We are all useful in this world! Do not bury your talent like what the man in Matthew chapter 25 did. The man that had 5 talents doubled his to 10. The man that had 2 talents doubled his to 4. But the one who had 1 talent buried his one in the ground. He did not use his own talent wisely. This is what the world is facing today because there are so many false perceptions regarding what gifts and talents people have in order to make a difference to the world. Just because someone has a degree does not make them over-qualified than someone that does not have a degree. Why compare yourself to others? Will comparison really enable you to be a good support system to others? No matter how small you think you have, if you know how to work it, you will see good change! Learn how to be content with your gifts and talents and use them as opportunities to guide your loved ones. They look up to you Queen.

To summarize, learn how to be a blessing to others. Do not allow everyday to be a day surrounded by just you. Yes you have your own issues and concerns, but don’t focus too much on yourself lest you become irritated and make those in your life run away from you. Remember that YOU ARE THE DOOR (OPPORTUNITY) TO SOMEONE ELSE’S MISSION. When you are able to help others, they too are able to help you in your time of need. How do I know that? By the scripture in Luke 6:38¬†Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you”. What you do unto others will also come back to you. When you sow bountifully, you will reap bountifully. Let this be your focus ladies, to serve others in genuine love because a lot of us today want to be served but they do not want to serve. Let us be different! Let us be the door to someone else’s mission because together WE ARE MORE!


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The loss of love always leaves a scar

Loss Love

Hello lovelies! Today I’ll be speaking from the topic of love. Now we all should be aware that the only way we can truly enjoy our lives is to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. It is not always easy, I know, but the feeling of giving it out to others will surprise you. I read Matthew 9:36 today and it reads “When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them”. Why did Jesus have compassion on them? Because He knew that the crowd was helpless and harassed. Having read this, it made me realise that life is not just about my situations and problems, or how I can get them resolved; but really it is also about putting our feet in someone else’s shoes to really feel the depth of their pain. Scars represent so much to each and every individual. Especially those who have psychically been cut or mentally drained. Either way they are all scars that vary from woman to woman.

It makes me glad to know that when helping people, I too am being helped. Who by? The Holy Spirit. I believe that when we put our problems aside and support our sisters, we too can experience the depth of God’s love upon our lives, and He too will take care of our needs (Philippians 4:19). The need to feel loved today is a challenge that isn’t always easy to abide by. Women who put their trust in their partners just to hear that he is not interested anymore; a best friend of yours talking behind your back and spreading rumors that are not true. Have you been there? I have. I tell you ladies, it is not easy at all, but the good thing is that God allows us to learn from all these experiences. He does not want us to become weak, but to share our experiences with those around us who are currently struggling to love.

There is a lovely song by Hillsong: ‘Savior He can move the Mountains’; the first line of the verse is “EVERYONE NEEDS COMPASSION, A LOVE THAT’S NEVER FAILING”. What does this mean to you Queen? Can you really analyse the depth of this statement? Everyone, even those who have hurt you and will continually hurt you in the future needs ‘COMPASSION.¬†It takes real mature women to overcome their past pain from friends and loved ones, and just continue to walk in the journey of love. Love never fails and you too shouldn’t fail on others when they are in need of love.

Having read the Word for You Today, I found this fact: “Research from the University of Manchester affiliated Institute for Social Change showed that in the UK in 2010-2011, the poorest 20% of people gave 3.2% of their income to charity, while the richest 20% of people only gave 0.9%”. It is sad to know that even rich people still find it difficult to give, relative to those that are less fortunate than others. And it is even funny because it seems like the rich seem to be getting richer and the poor getting poorer. But what I truly respect about those who are less fortunate is that they share their little portion of what they have left to those around them. This is what you call true love and selflessness.

Some are currently finding it hard to obtain a job, run a business, look after a child, and there are some of us who constantly complain that what they have is not enough, having the same food in the house, complaining about your job, being frustrated about petty things that truly do not matter. When are we going to wake up and realise that life won’t always be what we expect, but we can at least try to work together with what we have and turn it around for our good. I cannot emphasize enough how grateful I am for everything God has given me, firstly for LIFE! I keep saying ladies that although we complain about those hurting us, and not always getting our way, lets take a few steps back and ponder of the LOVE OF GOD! How He woke you up today and you have the privilege to read this blog post. Being alive and well is the depth of love that only God can give. Even when the Doctors dictate how much time you have left to live, it is GOD THAT HAS THE FINAL SAY!

So ladies, I want you to seize this opportunity to encourage you show love to those around you, even the ones who annoy you, starting with your family. There is a saying that goes “charity begins at home” so whatever you practice in the house is what you are going to do outside of the house. If you are not as close to your family as you used to, try making an effort with them. Remember every family is dysfunctional because there is no such thing as a perfect family, and that is what makes family unique. Maybe you can start helping your mother with washing the dishes and helping her cook. Or maybe your little brother is so annoying and keeps pestering you whilst studying; give him your time and attention and put your work aside for a while. It does not hurt to have a little bit of family-therapy ūüôā

Showing love is not just about buying people things, but it is also giving your TIME to someone. We all know how time is precious to us, every second counts! Time is a sacrifice and the more you give your time to others, the more happier you will become. Although balance is very important on the other hand, have quality time with yourself is also vital too. Do things that make you happy. If you are a genuinely happy and loving person, continue to do so and share the love. The true test is when you can love EVEN WHEN IT HURTS.

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Where there is no love, it leaves a scar that may take some time to heal. When I think about the love of Jesus, it humbles me to the extent where I cannot stay mad with someone for long. Why would I want to please my flesh or boost my ego just because of someone else’s faults? To make myself look good? No way! Ladies, we are nothing without Christ. No matter what people have done to us, remember that Jesus too had His close friends betray Him, yet the love was so STRONG towards them. If Jesus decided to hate His close friends, can you imagine how the world would be today? Despite how the world is already, we can endeavor to work as one in loving those around us. Never allow your pride or ego to get into the way of your love for someone.

Your love can prevent someone from committing suicide. Have you ever thought about that before? Those that are weaker than you may find strength in the love you show them, When I was a weak person a few years ago, my dependence for love was based on people around me. I wouldn’t feel confident enough until someone says they love me or can accept me in their group. But now as a grown mature woman, I have come to realise that it¬†is my job also to show love and genuinely care for people, especially those who are vulnerable and timid. Moreover, in my weakest moments, I didn’t truly understand the depth of God’s love for me, because I was too occupied trying to please people. Till now, I can honestly thank God He has brought me out of that trap where I used to be in finding love through others. I am not saying that you cannot receive love from other people, but bear in mind that mans’ hearts can change in a minute so above all things guard your heart and mind (Proverbs 4:23). So God taught me the importance of His love; to always put at the back of my mind that God’s love is unconditional and that He will never leave a scar in my heart, but instead will fill that scar with His everlasting love.

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So today, if you are in a painful or severe situation that you feel you cannot love again, smile again, laugh again, please let go of the frustration because that is killing your joy to love others. Ladies who are constantly frustrated won’t be able to experience the depth of God’s love. Not only that, but God uses people to love on us, so you too must do the same to love them back. In life ladies, we need people. We cannot do everything by ourselves, that is impossible. When you have a vision or dream to fulfill, God will place certain people in your life to support and lead you in the right direction. He does not however want you to take them for granted as they are limited resources and they can only do so much. The team that God has given you to fulfill your Destiny, do not take them for granted. Appreciate those around you by showing them what love really is. Let your love be so authentic that all the scars; physical scars, mental scars, emotional scars and spiritual scars can be solved through understanding and empathy. It should not hurt to relate to somebody else’s pain. Instead it should be your opportunity to share your personal struggles with them so that they can be relieved. Your scars will eventually heal and you would have come to a point where things that used to bother you don’t. If you love yourself, I am sure you can love others too. Study the book of 1 Corinthians 13 to gain a deeper insight of the word “LOVE”.¬†

What LOVE is:

  • Love is JESUS
  • Love is KIND
  • Love is HUMBLE
  • Love is PATIENT
  • Love is TRUTH

What LOVE isn’t:

  • Love does not ENVY
  • Love does not BOAST
  • Love is not ARROGANT
  • Love is not RUDE
  • Love does not INSIST OF ITS OWN WAY
  • Love is not IRRITABLE
  • Love is not RESENTFUL

Let’s continue to be loving towards each other! It is the greatest Commandment ūüôā

Loss Love 3


Friendships Are Expensive!


Hello ladies! As stated previously, I spoke about the importance of friendship on my YouTube channel; which you can listen to in your own time. I will continue to expand on it in greater detail here. One of the saddest realities we must face about life is that everybody is not going to be happy when we prosper. The more your dreams evolve into reality, the closer you get to Destiny, the GREATER TARGET you become for the negative opinions of others.

People who don’t even know you may even form impressions about who they¬†say you are and what you do. This is why I cannot stress enough that friendship is expensive and the people you hold close must also be aware of that. It is important to guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23). We must come to realise that not everybody is going to be for us, and it won’t always be comfortable to accept it. If you are someone who constantly¬†gives out a lot in reference to love, encouragement, time and even energy, it can be mentally, spiritually and emotionally draining if you are not receiving it back. We must learn to put our love on a budget and be careful that we are not investing too much into people that we forget our problems altogether because we are limited resources and there is so much that one can do for somebody.

A lot of people today are worried that certain friends will leave them so they just stay in the friendship for comfort, not realizing that they are being mentally and emotionally suffocated, but if that is so, you must examine that person in your life. I have been in those types of circumstances where I was very afraid to let go of my friend at university for fear that I wouldn’t find anyone that understood me back then. Looking at it now, I am very happy that I made the decision to leave right on time, however let us not underestimate the situation because I can honestly tell you ladies that it was H-A-R-D!! Letting go of someone you call a true friend is hard, but the problems I encountered were just too severe that to a point it was even affecting my grades. So I had to make a decision that before I step into my third year of university, I would be spiritually, mentally and emotionally stable with myself and with others around me.

Ladies I do not know the struggles you are going through with friends, but may I highly suggest that you keep your friendship circle small and tight! You do not need too many friends to make you feel special; only those you KNOW in your heart that they will enable you to be better and DO BETTER! We can’t be entertaining friends that don’t want us to succeed, no honey that is not life AT ALL!! We need sisters who can tell us when we do wrong in love, and pray for us when we are weak. It is hard nowadays to find true sisters/friends to confide in simply because we must realise that they too have problems that will need to be attended to; some on the other hand don’t know how to be a friend because of their up-bringing. For example, being surrounded by gossips through-out your life can influence you to become a gossiper, and then you wonder why no-one is willing to invest time in you.

Queens, what you give in is what you will get back. When you give love, you get love. When you gossip, you receive gossip back. We can’t expect to pretend to be there for someone, and expecting someone to be there for us. The pretending is not what defines a friendship. It takes¬†true¬†generosity and¬†commitment¬†to still keep going even as friends hurt you in places you would not expect. I know it is not always easy being a giver all the time, but there will be situations that will make you think¬†“Am I always the one who constantly gives my time and never get it back?”.¬†If this is the case, then YOU ARE DEPOSITING TOO MUCH IN PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT INVESTING BACK INTO YOU. You will honestly be drained from people like that because I am talking from experience!

The example I gave on my YouTube channel regarding an individual going to the bank to borrow money. The bank will want to know why the person is requesting for £10,000 so what the bank will do is look into the individuals income and expenditure statements. If the expenditure is higher than the income, it becomes a problem. Why? Because the bank knows that the individual may not be able to pay back the money on time, hence the reason why this customer constantly keeps spending money as well as its statements are showing too many outflows. More money is going out than coming in, and some of us today are giving out too much to people who are not investing back in us. We need to shake it up another level! There is no time to waste on unhealthy relationships out there I tell you. This is the time to position yourself with people who have a similar purpose as you, and both can work hand in hand to strengthen each other.

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As I keep saying no-one can be successful on their own no matter how they try. Try holding a conference on your own without no singers, no guest speakers, no-one to provide the monetary funds to support what you are doing. It is hard! Don’t suffer by doing everything by yourself. In as much as it is important to guard your heart, there will be situations however where will we need to open our heart to a¬†few people, especially when we encounter problems. I am not saying that everyone in your life right now is bad, no that is not the case, but there will be times where what we are passing through is too much to carry that all you need is that one friend who will not only speak but¬†LISTEN. It can be very hard to get people to listen today though woah! That is a job in itself! But having a few people who can listen to your pain brings so much relief and joy. It is even a bonus when what you are going through is what the other is passing through, so that you both can encourage each other. Nonetheless, you have to be wise who you open up to.

The Haters

Opening up to a hater is like someone holding a knife behind your back waiting to stab you. Haters are such an integral part of your journey forward that you can almost categorize them. If we use discernment and wisdom, God will show us our haters. It is a sad thing that we have these kinds of people. In Jesus times, He encountered many haters from the Pharisees, Chief Priests to the Sadducees, however He still endured the pain and kept it moving. He did not allow His mind and emotions to get the best of Him, because He knew where He was going. In life, you won’t have time to entertain your haters because time is precious ladies! You cannot get that back so it is important to invest in those that will build you up. Jesus’ enemies although did help Him to reach His Destiny in the end, and it is important that although we may not want to encounter haters, they are a vital part of our day-to-day lives.

If you are spiritually discerning, you would know that your haters are the ones that push you beyond your comfort zone and achieve far more than you expected. People like this want to place labels on you, but you know that what they say is NOT WHO YOU ARE! Some say they can do whatever you have done better. Others minimize your accomplishments. There are critics of your desire to succeed who accuse you of being self-serving, dishonest or immoral. And let us not forget those who throw up your past to discredit or disqualify you, reminding anyone who will listen what you did a few years ago. But perhaps the most pain is inflicted by the haters who smile at you as they plot your demise. The vitriol of all these haters is nothing compared to the betrayal of the one you loved and trusted and who claimed to care about you.

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If you are struggling to know who your friends are, look at your surroundings and meditate on it, because until you can know who they are, you won’t be able to confidently step into your Destiny. On the one hand, this is why you can’t tell everybody your business because some cannot stand you prospering before them. Remember the road to fulfillment, purpose and joy will take you to Destiny, however you must always prepared for people with jealous, envious, and angry behaviors whose venomous darts are aimed squarely in your direction as you travel. The hurt may make you stumble, but DON’T stop and waste time on revenge or retaliation because the old saying is true “SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE!”

We don’t even need to waste our time worrying about what people plan against us because we know WHO is for us! Remember Greater is He than is in Me than he that is in the world! (1 John 4:4). Remember that when God is in it, there is no limit to reaching success. Your friendship circle should push you to another level, not keep you down. Be sure to examine yourself also so you don’t begin drifting away and accepting what people say about you. Gods directions for your life are far greater than any human being. When you feel trapped into who to talk to about a situation, look up and know Jesus is there for you because He knew how it felt to be hated on. This is why it is highly important to be SELECTIVE about whom you share your dreams with. Jesus shared His dreams with the Father and you can too. God will never tell anyone your personal business, but a friend would. People with low aims can actually cause you to feel guilty or foolish for daring to have a dream.

When you encounter such reactions, make a mental note to protect your dream from such persons and understand the reason for their fright, anger or intimidation has NOTHING to do with you or what you are destined to do. Bare in mind that the Bible says the heart of man is desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9) so please do not worry yourself about what they are talking about because it is a reflection of them. Do not allow people’s problem to become your problem also. As you strive for Destiny, your vision may function at a higher level than your opportunity, which can create frustration. On the inside you can feel what is calling you, yet nothing on the outside and no-one validates your feeling. HOLD YOUR DESTINY TO YOUR HEART! Keep listening to your own voice. Do not allow the voices and opinions of others to disrupt your goals. Hold on to your revelation and¬†avoid sharing your calling because that in itself is an EXPENSIVE THING! Everyone is not worthy of knowing your inner voices so guard yourself from people who don’t understand where you are going.

This is why we must understand that OPINIONS DON’T MATTER!¬†because God chooses the least likely to get the promotion, grant, spouse, or even a prize. Right now somebody doesn’t think you are qualified to do what you are doing right now. All the spectators and imitators always have something to say but remember that their opinion is nothing more than their interpretation of you. If you have certain friends at this time who do not understand you, then wonder why they always form an opinion, because your goals are not their goals. They don’t really know you because they are not tied to your Destiny. Some friends are only there in the good times and not the bad. On the other hand, there are some opinions that can be positive too. It is wonderful to know that people are pleased as you fulfill your Destiny because they can cheer you up to greater heights and enable you to come out of your comfort zone even when you are feeling low. These people are “Confidantes” and are VERY RARE!¬†

People will love you but can quickly turn against you; these are¬†“Constituencies”

“The successful are often accused of forgetting where they came from; these are “Comrades”

All these three components are what we need to function in life. We can’t only have confidantes, you will have those that will love you on benefits and those that highly dislike you. As you make your way in life you will learn much more from those who criticize you than those who adore you. TD Jakes says:

“I learned so much about who I was from my haters when I came under a fire of criticism. The first time I had that experience, I couldn’t even defend myself because I was shocked that people even care enough about me to write about me whether negative or not. I had no idea I was important enough to be hated on at that level. My haters taught me my own significance”.

This is powerful stuff! Remember that your opinions of others does not define who you are. You have every right to choose your friends ladies! Do not allow your emotions to get into the way of choosing your team. Because whether you like it or not, people will still keep talking, but you have to stand strong and ignore the drama. This is why keeping the right company is so powerful! The more people love you, the more haters you will incur, and you have to be okay with that. But having three or fewer people who are authentic and real won’t bother you, because real success doesn’t have too many friends!!¬†

Choose your friends wisely ladies because friendship is an expensive investment that can change your life for the better if you allow it to. We all have good people out there, just do not confuse the confidantes with the constituencies.¬†We all need friends, it is just worth taking the time to know who really deserves a place in your heart. You can’t allow people to access you so quickly, that is too much energy! You must learn and understand how to set limits in love. We can’t do anything by ourselves, however with wisdom being our friend, we can use it to choose our team. Do not allow unnecessary people to waste your time because every second of the day is P-R-E-C-I-O-U-S!

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul ūüôā