Invest in Your Character

Character 1

Character is defined as strength of moral fiber. As the excellence of gold is its purity and the excellence of art is its beauty, so the excellence of man is his character. (A.W. Tozer). Our characters can be known through our honesty, our humility, our meekness, and even our ethics. Descriptions such as ‘women of integrity’ are assertions of character. A lack of character is moral deficiency and persons lacking character tends to behave dishonestly, unethically, and selfishly.

How is your inner being doing? Does it need a check up? I know we get so caught up in our appearances and find all the ways we can to get that ‘perfect look’, but the truth of the matter is that you are already beautiful the way you are. It is not your looks, your make-up, your fine clothing that defines who you are, but it is your character. How you see yourself is what others will see in you. What are you doing that is building up your character? How can you invest more in your heart than on the external? Remember not only to invest in the external, but grow in Spiritual strength and become better acquainted with the Lord Jesus (2 Peter 3:18). You can also invest in your character by investing in the Word more. More of the word builds your character; whatever you feed will grow, so be very careful what you set your eyes and mind on.

Your character is what will attract good people to you. A bad attitude is attractive to another bad attitude, but a humble individual would not want to be surrounded by someone who is proud. Our character is influenced and developed by our choices. The choices you make will define your character and how people perceive you as. If you are someone with a big heart that cares for others, you are more likely to attract good people to you. They will be so into you that you won’t even understand why they love you the way they do. I know a few ladies who are SO HIGHLY FAVORED and loved by many! These people are women of influence, women who understand what it feels to be broken and how to relate with them in a sensitive non-judgmental way. These are the people we desire to have around us.

It is the Lord’s purpose to develop a great character in us. The way He can do this is if we surrender OUR ALL TO HIM! Sometimes our problems places a barrier from having fellowship with God, so instead we try to fix everything in our own strength, to realise that nothing is working for our benefit. All our strength we work for is in vain but we have chosen to exalt ourselves assuming that everything we do are right choices. Great character comes from God because His character is great! He wants us to develop the attractiveness of doing good. When we do good, our character grows with us. On the other hand, God sometimes uses trials to strengthen our character. I am very convinced that we all have been through a lot this year. You would not be here today if not for God’s Grace. Our trials are another form of developing a Godly character.

Romans 8:18 “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the Glory that is to be revealed in us”This verse says that incomparable glory lies ahead; it’s glory beyond description, greater than anything you can compare it with on earth. Our sufferings hurt us, I know. It is impossible to stop hurt and pain from coming our way whether it be physical or emotional pain. There needs to be a balance in life when it comes to enjoyment and sorrow. It can be awful, almost unendurable. Its intensity can increase to such a degree that we scream with terror and pain. We think we can no longer endure. But the Apostle Paul is saying that the intensity of the suffering we experience is not even a drop in the bucket compared with the intensity of Glory that is coming our way. You can see that Paul is straining the language in trying to describe this fantastic thing that is about to happen, which he calls the Revelation of the Glory that is coming.

Paul is stressing that through the pain we go through, it will develop our character. You won’t know who you really are until you have been through hell. When everything isn’t going the way you planned, when family members don’t believe in your dreams, when friends emotionally use you, when all hope is gone, that is where the opportunity for God to bless you begins to flourish. You may not have a good start, but I promise you if you keep the Faith, you will have a good finish! I know some are still in the process of ifs, buts, and maybes, but none of that! When you really want a breakthrough, you will do all you can to get one. Nothing will stop you not even your emotions!

Let your character speak for itself. Our character is a powerful tool that can take you places. I find TD Jakes a strong role model in my life. Thanks to God, He has shaped this man into a powerful Bishop who desires to help people with understanding their purpose on earth and walking into their destiny. He is known all around the world for his tenacity and passion for Jesus Christ. I am certainly sure that a lot of people are blessed by his sermons, teachings, books and recent TV show (Type TD Jakes show on YouTube). These are the ingredients that have shaped who he is. People always ask me why do I love this man. It’s because of the way he conducts himself. He invests time in his character through helping people and wanting to see them grow. You follow people who you want to be like right?

Now what shapes you? Do you have a unique glow that when people see you they get excited? Or do you get the response of ‘oh shes back again, sigh’. Hmm it can be tough. Some try to be nice but it just does not work because they have not taken the time to invest in their character. You can’t cover up a bad look hunny. It’s either you hand it over to God or suffer the consequences. If you are currently surrounded with people that don’t like the way you are, this could be the opportunity to ask God why. It could be either two things: (1) they may not like the way people love you, or (2) you may have a bitter heart and not realise it. But the answer can only be revealed through God.

People will always have something to say about you, that is the life we live, but as long as you don’t allow it to get to you, you will be on top! Your situations will try to bring you down, but as long as you keep the Faith, everything else will follow. Could it be possible that your pain is a unique path to enhance your inner being? Do you think that your suffering is God punishing you? Hmmm, my sister it isn’t. The more suffering, the more blessing. The enemy always wants us to think that God does not love us and that is why the world is so corrupt. If God wanted to stop all the chaos that is happening in the world, He can do it because only He has the power to stop it. Some question why bad things happen to good people; yes it happens at times, but look what David said in Psalm 37:1-3: “(1) Fret not yourself because of evildoers; be not envious of wrongdoers! (2) For they will soon fade like the grass and wither like the green herb (3) Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness”.

David emphasizes on the fact that we should not be concerned or worried about evildoers, because one day they will reap what they have sown. The unrighteous may be enjoying now, however it does not exempt the fact that God does not see these things, nor has He forgotten about you. What frustrates me at times is when I feel in my heart that people who have started after me are excelling and I just think ‘wow Lord fix it’. It seems so unreal, but God has told me not to worry, because nothing is hidden under the sun. Some will bribe just to be in higher positions, some will use you, drain you, and even attempt to kill you, but none of this matters simply because the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord (Psalms 37:4). When God orders your steps, you won’t even have to worry about what people plan against you. All you have to do is look up and say ‘God I trust you’. Even when you cannot find your way, He will be the light to your path (Psalms 119:105).

We must learn to work on our characters every day. It is not something that is done overnight. Even if we feel that nothing else needs to be worked on, I can guarantee that there are other areas in our lives where we can invest in. Maybe you have anger issues? Maybe you are finding it hard to forgive someone? Don’t wait for people to see the best in you before you see the best in yourself. Learn to fight your struggles off so the real you can come out. The race is not for the swift. It is a tough life out there, but with the right character, you will be able to conquer it all. You and I are not alone. God wants to develop in us a unique character that will draw others to Him through us. Jesus did not die that we should struggle with our inner-being. We are the righteousness of God in Christ, and in order to first identify who we are, we must realize who we truly are in Christ first. Learn to develop a character like Jesus, and I can assure you that regardless of the attacks and struggles, you will be an overcomer!

Your character says a lot about you, how you relate with others but most importantly, how you relate with God. Invest in God and in yourself! These are the two things that should be worked on daily. Open up your heart and surrender to God; every silent struggle, every envious or jealous thought, let go and let Him work on you. Your heart is so precious to God. All He wants to do is work on your heart. Are you willing to give it to Him? Remember you don’t have to do this on your own. Character is not a one person’s job. It takes prayer and a good support system around you. When you begin to draw near to God, your character will catch up with you.

WHATEVER IT TAKES FOR YOU TO BUILD YOURSELF UP, DO IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART. REGARDLESS OF THE PAINFUL MOMENTS, THE TEARS, THE CRITICS, YOUR CHARACTER IS WHAT WILL HELP YOU FACE CHALLENGES, MANAGE RISKS AND OVERCOME BARRIERS – TO GROW UP STRONG AND BE WISE!

Learn to invest in you and love the you that God is shaping you to be 🙂

Advertisements

Give Above Your Level!

Luke 6:38 “Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you”.

When I was a young girl, my Sunday school teacher taught my peers about the importance of giving and the benefits that comes alongside it. Up till now, I fully understand why she was so passionate about it. Ladies, it is vitally important to give for it opens many doors; doors of opportunities, doors of success, doors of favor, you name it! But the problem with our Christian society today is the struggle to give. Some of us find it difficult to give. We look at our situation and justify why we should or should not give a certain amount. I am not only talking about money, it could be spending time with a loved one, helping out a work colleague, or most importantly, spending quality time with God.

The world that we are living in now is just becoming too self-indulging. All we think about is what I can obtain from receiving. Christian-giving is not optional, it is essential. In as much as we have to give, we must give for the RIGHT REASONS. Jesus warned His disciples not to give for the sake of being admired by men. Some of us today are guilty when it comes to giving because we want to be applauded by man, and let them boast of us. The Word tells us to “Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them,”. Jesus said in Matthew 6:1 “When we give, we must be careful to examine our motives. We ought to give for the glory of God and the good of His people. We must desire His approval of our giving, rather than the praise and admiration of people”. Are you giving for God’s praise or man’s praise? What is the real motive behind your giving?

The level at which you give to God, that is the level He will give back to you. If you earn £1,000.00 every month, and you only give God £50.00, don’t expect a 100% increase, because you have robbed Him of the remaining £50.00. Why do we find it so hard to give in church relative to buying expensive clothing? Don’t we trust God enough to provide all we need, or are we trying to satisfy our selfish motives. For this reason, I challenge you to really KNOW GOD FOR WHO HE IS! He is the creator of the universe, so why do you find it hard to give what is already His? Are you getting it? Everything you have belongs to God. Your LIFE, your family, loved ones, finances, possessions are all bonuses. If you make a decision in your heart to give above your level, (in other words, give more than you regularly put in) God will pour out His blessing that you won’t have enough room to receive. (Don’t believe me? Read Malachi 3:10).

This could also be a test for someone. I remember at university in my first year, I found it hard to give my 10% to God. I kept on saying I will do it, but spent the money on myself. When you keep thinking about yourself, you limit God in blessing you further. You seize your opportunity of receiving more than you expected. Not giving God what is His is a slap in the face. After all, what is yours now belongs to Him, so regardless of what you do with your finances and spare time, it will all be monitored. Jesus reminds us that when we give, the all-knowing God sees the intentions of the heart. Jesus said “When you give, your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you”. (Matthew 6:3-4). When we give, we are not simply adding to the church budget, we are giving up a thank offering to the Father Himself. We shouldn’t even be reminded to give God our tithing and offerings, it should be a thing of joy to offer what He has giving us back, thus, we must all give as unto the Lord. Our ultimate goal in giving is to please Him. Are you conscious of the fact that your giving is seen by the Lord? Never mind the spectators, but you must have at the back of your mind that God must come first in your giving.

Now I am not saying you should give everything and not have anything for yourself, that is not wise, however giving should be done in accordance to your needs. Paul is quite clear on this: “For if the readiness is present, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what a person does not have” (2 Corinthians 8:12). Alternatively Paul is saying that you should give in proportion to what God has given you. He said it this way in 1 Corinthians 16:2: “Each one of you is to put aside and save as he may prosper.” This means at least two things: (1) since we are all supposed to give proportionately, those who have more money are expected to give more we who are particularly blessed materially must remember this, and (2): the Lord never asks us to give what we do not have, or contribute beyond our means. Are you really giving in proportion to the material blessings that the Lord has given you? As stated earlier, for those that have more, are you struggling in giving beyond your means? For those that may not be working as of yet, God understands; this brings me on to my next topic:

Temporary and Eternal Things

When you make a decision to seek God and not temporary things, you are setting yourself up for success. Why did Jesus emphasize on giving than receiving? Because He knew giving was much more GREATER than gaining back. He knew that the real blessing was placed in Heaven, not in this temporary world. I hate to tell you this, but one day you and I will be leaving this earth. You ain’t staying here sister! You can have a few teeth or die cute, but your still going lol. It is important to be reminded that giving is a sign of trust and expectancy! What are you expecting from God? Do you want Him to amaze you? Then check your giving levels because that is where it starts. Although, have at the back of your mind that this world we live in is not to stay in. We are only here for a little while and to fulfill God’s purposes for His Kingdom.

Worship on the other hand is eternal; it is a great way of connecting with God. When we put our money in the offering bowl, we are worshipping God in accordance to His word. Is your worship in this area abundant or inhibited? Is giving to God a priority to you? Why is it a struggle to worship? Because it is easy to worship when everything is going well in your life. For those who may not be working, it is still an opportunity for you to worship without having materialistic things. Don’t think that your worship is going unnoticed because God looks at the intentions of your hearts. It may feel as if the more you are worshipping, nothing is happening, but I can guarantee you that when it becomes a lifestyle, your circumstances will change for the better.

Giving 1

Giving is an Act of Love

Personally, I find it very hard to believe someone when they say :’ I love you Esther’ and not give anything tangible to prove. Now I am not one to be choosy and ask for heaven and earth, however I honestly do get a bit suspicious. Take mothers or fathers day; it would be placed on your hearts to buy your own parents gifts on their special day? How about your spouse? Don’t you want to prove to him how much you care? Buying someone a gift is an act of love as it expresses how you feel about them. This can also be applied in the same way as Gods love. He sent down His Son for us to die for mankind. But with God’s gift, it is the greatest of all. Now back to you; what is stopping you from giving beyond your level? Are you still living with uncertainty contemplating when you are financially stable that you start giving? It has to stop now, because until you keep waiting for that perfect day, opportunities will be passing you by.

I’ve realised the more you wait until things change for the better, the more time you are wasting to be blessed. Let us not be reluctant to give. You may feel empty now, but your cup will run over! Don’t think that your current circumstance won’t change because IT WILL if your position yourself. Some find it hard to give due to fear of not getting what was initially given. How much will I receive back? What is in it for me? But look back over your life and see the countless times where God woke you up everyday regardless of your downfalls. That is a loving God right there. Never be selfish in giving. Remember the rich man in the Bible that found it difficult to give his riches to the poor? It is none of our portions to be this stingy. When you have so much, why not think about sharing some of your possessions? (Matthew 19:16-30). Pay particular attention to verses 21-24:

(21) Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
(22) When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
(23) Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”.
(24) Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.
But just as you excel in everything – in Faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us, see that you also excel in this Grace of Giving (2 Corinthians 8:7). 

Giving not only blesses you, but it blesses those around you including your family, friends and loved ones. If you want to see change in your life, if you desire to have a better future, change your giving. LEARN TO GIVE ON THE LEVEL YOU WANT TO RECEIVE BACK. Remember that God loves a cheerful giver. This life was not only made for you, think about others too. When you give at in your current position, it will be easier to give when you get older. What you do now becomes a habit towards your future, so give with good intentions because you reap what you sow.

 Giving

The Power of Waiting and Being Patient

There is Power in Patience. I know most of us don’t get along with it (including me at times), but there is something about patience that makes you appreciate the gift when it arrives. There is something about struggling that makes you stronger than you thought you’d be. Without struggles, there won’t be testimonies. Show me someone you know who received everything they wanted without struggle and is still happy. There are a few people, including celebrities who clam to have it all; the finances, the looks, the fame, the popularity, the house, but the real question is: Are they happy? Now back to you. What is it that you are earnestly waiting on God to do for you? I remember talking to my friend about my job search and career aspirations. I graduated in Business Administration with Marketing, the year of 2013. I have not been able to secure a decent graduate job. Although God has sustained me in my current work place which I am SO THANKFUL FOR, it can be draining, and you won’t understand what I mean until you step into my shoes.

For others, it is  more painful as they have already graduated, but is idle at home. I know someone who has been unemployed for 6 good months, and I tell you it isn’t easy. I haven’t been unemployed thanks to God but I would assume how it feels </3. Although, there are times where it seems like I am unemployed because the my way of thinking is not positive. I am that individual that sees the best potential in others but struggle secretly in my own shell. It seems that when people around me are receiving their breakthroughs, I am doing the same repetitive routine. It is frustrating if I am honest, and I keep asking God what His next steps for my life are. When I was in my thinking mode, a friend sent me a picture which said this:

“Frustration is your worst enemy, for it has the power to destroy peace of mind”

I don’t know how powerful it can get than this. Frustration can lead to bitterness. Bitterness can lead to loneliness. Loneliness can lead to hatred, and if not cautioned quick enough, self-destruction. I remember going to my friends for help and advice in regards to my job search, but to no avail; nothing is happening. I believe what God is constantly trying to teach me is that He won’t grant man the power to help me, because only He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above more than we can imagine or think. I know it would be so easy to thank your friend for securing a job for you, but it says in His Word that ‘He will never share His Glory with anybody’. God does not want the praise to be given to man but to Him only. Frustration occurs from failed attempts, secretly comparing yourself with others, and how others define or perceive you. How others define you is none of your business unless you want it to be. What you say to yourself will make or break you!

If we don’t get into the habit of speaking positive words in our situations, we are more likely to be slaves to them. Relying on people to tell you what to do is time-wasting. This is now the time to seize the moment and run to God to ask what path He wants you to take. At the moment, I am in a very good place. I believe the right people are in my life for now, until further notice. God is really teaching the beauty of being patient. Personally, it has been quite a struggle for me because I work hard and endeavour to do my best. However, I see patience as a sign of maturity; to see how much I really trust and depend on God.

“The willingness and obedience to be patient is the beginning of a mature mind and healthy heart”.

Patience and Maturity are the wonder-twins of an answered prayer for God to reveal Himself to you. In Matthew 7:7-8 it says “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you, (8) For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened”. This scripture is so powerful that there was a time where I doubted myself. I thought if I keep asking God for what I desired, it would seem like a burden and show lack of trust. But now that I am studying it more, I am beginning to understand the  the importance of asking, knocking and seeking! With these three things comes several answers from the Holy Spirit.

But if I may ask, do you ever feel that you are asking God for prayers to be answered but it seems so quiet? Have you considered that you are talking too much that you can’t hear what He has to say? Maybe it is time to check your prayer life. How consistent is it? Or do you only pray when trouble occurs? On the other hand, it could be that your prayer life is self-centred. (This is what I was dwelling on recently too). You are the only person that knows what you pray behind closed doors and in your quiet time of study. Most of us think that when we come out of our current situations we will be happy. Well, if you can’t be happy where you are now, you are probably going to be less happier when you come out. It can be difficult for Christians to realise that they have a HIGHER PURPOSE in life than seeking for external things because we are looking at things from a natural view rather than a spiritual view.

I spoke to God in my year of frustration; 2014 to find out what His plans were for my life. I am still learning and trying to be more submissive to Him rather than doing everything in my own strength. All I keep hearing Him say is ‘trust me’. But the more I keep hearing it, the more I am seeing people around me getting their blessings. Could it be a sign that God is reminding me that He is still in the business of blessing people? Ladies, you and I know that we want God to do a lot for us and it is very good to be humble about it, however, there are times where you have to be like Jacob and say ‘I am not going anywhere until YOU BLESS ME‘. Frustration will make you fall to your knees and cry out to God because you know how painful the situation is. When you open up, you will start having flashbacks of the moments where God did something great for you, and will remind you that all things are possible, not just for your today, but your future!!!

Don’t look at your friends’ circumstances and feel the need to be like them just because it seems like they are enjoying life. You too could be enjoying life if you stop looking at what they have and start looking onto God the Author and Finisher of your Faith. Remember that God does not confuse His people, but brings PEACE (1 Corinthians 14:33). Your Peace is not in your job, your Peace is not in your car, your Peace is not in your spouse, your Peace is not in your finances, your Peace is not in the adorning of external beauty and jewelry, but your Peace is in Christ Jesus because He is the Prince of Peace. When you call Jesus into your storm, He will fight for you in every area.

Furthermore, you must endeavour to give Him the opportunity to bless you. It’s not everyday strain yourself!!. Sometimes give God a chance, relax and let go! There is power in being patient. It may not feel nice now, it may not feel comfortable, it will be frustrating, but with time and obedience, everything will all make sense. I want you to take this opportunity to thank the Lord for all He has done, and what He is going to do in your future. I found it so hard to give thanks for the things I could not see that He was doing behind closed doors, but now I have realised the impact of praising Him in advance. Never allow your current situation to define you, you do not look like what you are going through. Position yourself woman, you are more stronger than you think. Don’t allow anything in society to pressure or diminish you. Renew your mind and check your thoughts. Are they aligned to God’s word?

I would always find it difficult to share this personal testimony about my job search, but I find so much pleasure in sharing, because it helps me to know that I am not the only one in this current situation. As I stated earlier, I am VERY grateful that I have a job, however I am POSITIONING MYSELF to receive something much better which I strongly believe is going to be revealed very soon. I will update you on this journey once the timing is right! Ladies, remember not to settle for less. I may not know what you are waiting for, but no matter what it is, allow yourself to be encouraged that He is with you and makes all things beautiful in His time. The road won’t always be easy but you have to keep fighting until the Victory is WON!

“Patience is not about how long you can wait. It is how well you behave while you wait”. Ladies, wait on The Lord. He will see you through (Isaiah 41:30).

Patience 1

God’s Decisions

Gods decisions 1

Wait for the Lord, be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord. Psalms 27:14. I don’t know what you are waiting for God to do in your life. Maybe you want to have a deeper intimate relationship with Him? Maybe you want to find a better job; maybe you want God to reveal Himself to you; maybe you want God to change your brother or sisters behavior? We all have our struggles, even those you want to imitate have their own struggles. Some are battling with loneliness, they feel that no-one is ever around. Have you felt like this before? Even the most manipulative person that you are scared of is battling with loneliness, because nobody wants to be with a friend that is a bully right?

But have considered God in your situations? Some of us say we know God, but do we really? Or do we only know the God that is a provider of all things? It occurs to me that at times, we use God when we need him, but once we have everything, we go back to our normal routine. Our prayer lives diminish, we become more self-focused, we become more bitter and envious, we dislike certain people when we hear their names or see them walking on the road, we think we are doing ourselves a favor by making others feel small, but this only ends up in you being confused and wondering why God hasn’t answered your prayers.

In life, the way you treat people, will come back to you. If you know you love the God who made you, as well as your life, it would be advisable to consider how to treat others. Yes people hurt us, but don’t we hurt people too? Yes your closest friend said some nasty words to you, but how are you treating your family members behind closed doors? Do you want a better life? Start changing the way you think. You can do this by acting on God’s decisions. His decisions are always beneficial for you and I. God’s decisions tests our patience to see how much we trust in Him, rather than in ourselves.

Our strength does not come from our work, our friends, our finances or our jobs, it only comes from God. The Joy of the Lord is our strength. God’s decisions allow us to wait on Him so because we can be assured that He has something better for us than what we expected. I was reflecting back on my life and the achievements I desired to obtain but did not get them. So instead, what I did was to pray and ask God to show me why my prayers were not answered. The reason was that I was aiming too low. Not only that, God wanted to see whether I will praise the blessing or the maker of the blessing. It is easy to thank your friend for the job link she gave you, it is easy to thank your mentor for guiding you through that relationship problem you were having, it is easy to say ‘I love you’ to your partner because of all the presents he bought for you when it wasn’t even your birthday, but do you know where all that truly came from? It came from God. God is the provider of all things. Everything in the world is His. Your money; your job, your car, your friends, your family members, your health; all these are the Fathers.

Gods decisions 3

God’s decision helps us grow in WISDOM AND MATURITY to handle things in due course. You may be upset about the interviews you attended in the past, and they all keep rejecting you. But has it occurred that you may have not been ready for it. I know of a person that would constantly apply for any job that comes her way; she would just constantly apply and rush through the process of making a strong cover letter, but she was so eager that she was not willing to go through the process, rather she was rushing to get to her destination. But where did it end up leaving her to? The same place she started. When I think about this, I realise why our prayers haven’t been answered. One; selfish motives, Two; Not realizing the One who gave you the blessing initially. Three; Not ready to handle what God has for us. Out of these three, which category do you fall in to?

Humility

Over forty times in the Bible, we are commanded to wait on the Lord. Learning to wait is a test for maturity. Waiting forces us to accept that we are not in control. God is in control of every decision you make. Whether you want God to give you a breakthrough, only He knows when you are ready for it. Stop trying to tell God what to do, and start surrendering yourself unto Him. I love humility. Humility is a quality of being constantly respectful towards others. It is variously seen as the act or posture of lowering oneself in relation to others or conversely having a clear perspective and respect for one’s place in context. 

Gods decisions 2

How humble enough are you? Are you struggling with helping others because you are too focused on your own problems? Sincerely, it does happen. I know it is a hard life out there, some worse than others. I was speaking to a group of girls this week about God’s love. Now, God’s love is about sharing and helping each other right? When God blesses your neighbor, don’t you think He will bless you too? It may not be at the time you want it to come, but it should help you to know that He is right on time.

When considering God’s decisions, He will teach you how to be humble. I know there are some things in your life where you were contemplating with God about the blessings that you wanted Him to grant you. Thinking that we know best for our lives more than God is a dangerous move. About 4 years ago, I really liked this guy, and I thought he was for me. I was saying that no-one is going to have him apart from me. Not knowing that God had to take him out of my life to help me focus on Him because He was a distraction to me. I couldn’t focus on anything, and I was trying to serve God at the same time. When people leave empty promises in your heart, it hurts. This guy said he would do anything for me, bla bla bla, you know the rest lol. But because of the emotional attachment I had with Him, I could not seem to let go. Some of us are still holding on to our past, and it is preventing God from moving. Our future’s are in the Lord’s hands, and we can only see it when we let go of the past.

Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold the new has come. What are you still holding on to? It may not even be a man, it may be your pride, it may be stress, it may be loneliness, it may be unforgiveness, it may be addictions, it could be anything! What may be small to your eyes is big in God’s eyes. You think unforgiveness is helping you, but my sister, it isn’t. It only makes you more miserable. When God takes someone out of your life, respect His decisions. Don’t doubt or question it. God’s decisions are here to make you a better person.

Not everyone is going to like you so you have to realise that now, or else you will struggle. Jesus knew that the Pharisees and Scribes didn’t like him, but he did not let that get to him, and neither should you. Even some of the close friends you have at the moment, may switch up on you and just change. It is bound to happen so be prepared, but do not let it change WHO YOU ARE. There is a difference when a close friend changes, and when you change BECAUSE of their attitude. I am still a work-in-process because I seriously am struggling with this area as we speak. But I am willing to humble myself and surrender it all to God, rather than thinking I can endure. Some can endure the pain and some can’t. It really is dependent on how much you trust God.

From God’s perspective, your life is not measured by its length, but by its effectiveness and impact for His Kingdom. God’s decisions will enable you to make good choices for His Kingdom. It will remind you of your true purpose on earth. As I always say to a few of my friends “You are not here just to be rich and die”. We are all here for a purpose, and until we discover that purpose, keep seeking God. Don’t stop doing it. Just because life is not going according to your favor doesn’t mean that you can control your life and make your own decisions. It is a dangerous move to make your own decisions. So wait, and keep a good attitude while doing it because God won’t disappoint you. He knows your future, so why not allow Him to make the decisions for your next step?

Gods decisions

Accepting People

I remember a time where I would constantly complain about the way people act and why they behave the way they do. It would frustrate me to an extent where I just want to cut them out of my life. My thoughts were always negative towards people I did not get along with; people who I felt took my weakness for granted; people who wouldn’t hear what I had to say. But I have realised that despite the negativity, I must except people for WHO THEY ARE for I am not perfect myself. Lets use God for example. God created us all right? Okay. You may have a friend in your life right now who annoys you to the core. You didn’t like what this person did. Maybe she ignores your texts/calls, or maybe he is constantly on the phone to his ‘best girl friend’. But when you think about it, do you think your mind is causing the problem? Maybe you are taking it too far. You have to ask yourself, is it that deep?

Do not get me wrong here, there are times where we can step on each other toes without having any sympathy because of our frustration towards people. I had a friend who really got to me, and it took me ages to officially let her go. It was a negative stronghold I had to ask God to give me strength to fight off. When you love someone so much, it can be hard to let go, especially when you have developed an intimate relationship with them (whether friendship or relationship). I believe some people are in our lives for a REASON, some for a SEASON and some for a LIFETIME. God will put some people in your life for a reason to help to fulfill your destiny; God will put some people in your life for a season to test your Faith and see how much you fear Him. Alternatively, some are only in your life temporarily to make you realise that you did not need them initially, but were enabling you to come out of your comfort zone. (I thank God for seasonal friendships more than anything else, because it actually proves who is for me and who isn’t – look in the book of Luke 22 where Judas agreed to betray Jesus). Lastly, God will put some people in your life to stay for a long time. These are the people you must cherish and adore i.e. your family members.

Life won’t always work according to your favor, but God is still faithful. People will annoy you, but you still have a responsibility to love them. Remember people are not born being cruel, it is a CHOICE they decided to make that changed them. It all starts in the mind. There may be some family members or friends that may have hurt you, whether it be in the past or at present, but you have the power to let go of it. If God Himself was to treat you according to the way you treat others, you would think He is a bad God, but regardless of what we do, He still finds a way to love us. What a Mighty God we serve! Its time to ACCEPT the unchangeable past, EMBRACE the priceless present, and to HAVE FAITH in the promise of tomorrow. 

Accepting people 2

I may not know what you are going through, I may not know you personally, but find it in your heart to accept people. I know it is hard. But let me challenge you right now. Have you also looked at yourself? Rather than finding faults in others and covering up your own mess, do you think you could be the potential problem as to why people are acting funny towards you? Has it ever occurred to you that people only do what you do to them? When you tell someone you love them, you also show it by purchasing gifts right? Well then. The same applies to them also; they too will shower you with love in buying gifts. See it as an investment: I am investing in a 4 bedroom house in Beckenham that I had my eye on for quite a while. The house is up on the marketing for £465,000, and I am willing to secure the house, so I put down £10,000 to the estate agency. The agency will then contact the owner of the house to inform them of a potential buyer. Seeing that the potential buyer is eager to move out of its current property, the owner now accepts the offer. Now I don’t know about you, but that is a pretty good investment. Although £465,000 is quite a lot to make in a little space of time, the owner trusts me enough to give me the house in advance. So the result is that the owner accepted my offer and now I can start preparing for the remaining £455,000 to complete the house payments. 

LOVE is the greatest command of all. Love involves excepting people for who they are, not choosing them because they are rich or well-known. Whether you know someone who has a disability, or maybe your little brother that snores every night when you are trying to sleep, still love them. They did not choose to be that way. Imagine this world full of LOVE AND UNITY! There wouldn’t be much conflict, not much wars, no more hatred, but now its seems like the world is just getting too self-righteous and proud because everyone wants to be followed; no body wants to lead. I remember talking to my friend about society and the PRESSURE it is placing on our little ones. So many youths of today in the UK competing with each other, putting others down to make them look good, buying things they cannot even afford just to fit in the group. If you do not shut society off, society will shut you off! We need to be very vital as to who we listen to outside. It is not everything someone does you must imitate. Learn to love you for YOU! Please do not get me wrong, this is not as easy as it sounds for some people, but it will help you go a long way in future.

The pain of what a friend or relative can do has severe effects on one’s mind. But remember it will only affect you if you let it. If a friend was to offend me, and I accepted that offence and forgive, I am more likely to be free, but if I keep bringing it up in every conversation, I am still holding a grudge on that person whether I choose to see it that way or not. Even when someone calls the person’s name, I will get so angry, and that is proof that I have not let go. For all I know that friend has expressed itself to me in their honest way possible, but I was so stubborn to accept it because I wanted the friend to know how it felt to be hurt. But who are you to choose when to forgive? Lol! We don’t even know our tomorrow, let alone our today. Some people who find it hard to forgive are going to have a very hard time in life. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not bought, it is a choice to abide by. Accepting people means learning to overlook their flaws and appreciate them as they are, because we can’t do it on our own. We will need His Grace and Strength to let go and forgive.

Accepting people 1

We do not have any right to change people the way we want them to be, because imagine God our Heavenly Father making us feel small when we sin. How would we truly feel? And bear in mind that we sin every day, so it will be twice as worse. Learn to love like God loves, and forgive like God forgives and I guarantee you will be happier than you already are because you will realise that when you make mistakes, they will make mistakes too, so your both even. Accepting people is a beautiful thing. I remember telling God that when He positions me to be in a strong relationship with my husband, I want him to accept me and vise versa. No matter what I had done in my past or how I look or how my body is, I just want him to love me the way I am. And I strongly believe with men, they want the same acceptance. A man adores and respects a woman who respects him. Whether he is tall, short, big, small, it does not matter. Are you marrying the person for his looks or his heart? Do not misunderstand me here, physical appearance is key, but if you think that is all you need in a man and his riches, you are truly not ready to commit yourself in a relationship. Why? Because looks will fade, his possessions will fade. You may not have the power to change how someone looks, but you have the power to accept them as they are. 

So today I challenge you to talk to someone you are struggling with, and be transparent about how you are feeling. Remember your tone is important so ensure that you speak from the heart, and you will see how things will turn around to your favor. 

#AcceptingPeople #LovePeopleTheSameWayYouLoveYouself #IfYouDon’tLoveYourselfYouCan’tLovePepople

Accepting people 3

The Struggle to Surrender

What are you trying to control in your own strength? What is making you so focused on your problem rather than God? Have you ever been in a position where you think you know your life better than anyone else, so you plan what you are going to do in the next five years, then realise you are two steps behind because you were so confident in yourself that you would make it to the next level. Well, this may not be easy for you to take but you cannot do it alone. In 2 Chronicles 7:14 it states; ‘If my people who are called by my name shall humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin and heal their land’. If we can honestly humble ourselves and say ‘God I can’t do this without you’ see how He will intervene for you.

Surrender

I would always think my life would be better if I was in control of it. Yes God is invisible, so I thought it’s okay for me to do anything I like right? Ladies, in life, no matter what we have planned, whether it is preparing for a new job, working in the ministry group, setting up your own business, starting a new relationship, getting married; all these must be surrendered to the Most High. If I may ask, why do you feel the need to do everything on your own? Why do you want to carry that heavy burden that is making you bitter? Could it be pride that has got into you? So many of us have come to a point where we don’t even want anyone to help them.

I remember a time I had a conversation with my friend wanted me to go somewhere with her, not realizing that I was already out. I suggested another week, and all she said was “It is okay, don’t worry”. I don’t know about you, but do you feel drained when you hear certain people’s names? I mean it really gets on your nerves doesn’t it? When you know your heart towards someone is genuine and they are not showing it back, it can hurt. This year I told God that I won’t allow anyone to get to me, because I know what I had to go through in my past to get me where I am today. What have you been struggling with that has helped you become the strong woman you are today? If I decided to wallow in self-pity and bitterness, I don’t believe I would be in the position I’m in. Please do not get me wrong, it is not always easy to cut people out of our lives, I tell you that. It just felt like a STRONG-HOLD that was pulling me back and keeping me silent. Every time I try to rise above it all, something will just pull me back quick, and I would say “where is God” not knowing that all the while He was strengthening me in my dark situations.

Now I do not know what you may be passing through, but I can confidently say that when you surrender ALL your problems, not some, not few, not half, but all your concerns and anxieties to God, He will be there for you. A really dear friend of mine sent me a message and it reads:

“God was speaking to me saying that even though we aren’t perfect, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves to always get things right because we will make mistakes. But what He wants is more of our time and effort. We should keep on improving but not burdening ourselves to always expect to get things right. Yes we see our faults, but life has no instruction manual but we have the BIBLE and our ancestors stories of their trials and tribulations e.g. Jonah, Job, Hannah, Sarah, Moses to name a few. We can continue to pick faults but we will continue to make mistakes. But once your heart is genuine and obedient to Him, He will not see you any less. He loves you so much and can see how hard you are trying. But applying pressure to change can be damaging when done wrong. Acknowledge your mistakes, learn from them and move on”. 

When I read this, all I could do was ponder on the times where I was so hard on my self think that I would never amount to anything. I thought that I could cover my mistakes and get away with it, not knowing that God already knew my mistakes even before I created it. Ladies, not matter how we try to cover up our faults, they will always be known to God. However, the good thing is that He refuses to allow us to stay in the mess. I don’t know what is stopping you from giving your all to God; maybe it’s an addiction, a partner, junk food, smoking, but all these things won’t give you joy. I was struggling to stop wearing make-up ladies, I tell you, it was a struggle, until I realised that behind it all, God loved me regardless!

I left my house without make-up last week with my mum and sister and felt so great!! It is an amazing feeling when you can surrender your problems to God for Him to help you. So I ask you today, what is your concern? What is your desperate cry about? Why are you finding it so hard to let go? I know for some of us, it could be our partners. We are so used to our partners that anything they say or do to us, we agree with them, because they should be ‘in charge’. Point of correction, God is in charge. Any woman that allows a man to treat her anyhow is on thin ice! It is important as women to know our worth and know who we are in The Lord. Why have you attached yourself so much to a man who is not helping you to become a better woman? The struggle to surrender is real ladies I tell you, but the real challenge is; ARE YOU WILLING TO SURRENDER YOUR OWN WILL? 

Trying to fight your way out of a problem without giving it to God is like eating junk food and saying you want to attend the gym to burn it off. You will still look the same, if not put on more weight without realizing it. Ladies, do not be deceived, God is not to be mocked. When a man can disrespect you, God will elevate you, when a man assumes things about you, God will remind you how precious you are to Him, when you feel lonely from a difficult break-up, God will be the one comforting you. It is my heart’s cry that we all learn to surrender everything to God. We cannot wait for everything to work our way before we remember God because we are putting Him in second place if we do that. Give God your all, try Him and He will sustain you. Remember you have to let go of the life you pictured in order to have the life that God has planned. Some key points to consider:

  • Are you struggling with your prayer life?
  • What is stopping you from letting go of your plans for Gods plans?
  • Surrender it all- stop trying and start resting.
  • Some decisions cannot be undone until you fully surrender it all.
  • Are you living a selfish life?
  • Let go and let God
  • Not your will but His will.
  • When surrendering, do you still feel confused about where He is taking you?

Surrender 2

Ladies, if you would like to talk about anything you are struggling with, kindly contact me via my blog. I will be glad to help and support you :).

Surrender 1