The 3 C’s; Don’t (C)ompete, dont (C)omplain, don’t (C)ompare!

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The question that is constantly on my mind is contentment. Contentment from a Biblical perspective is;

“An internal satisfaction which does not demand changes in external circumstances”.

So in other words, it is about being humble-minded for the things one possesses, and not allowing influences from different people affect them. When one is content, they won’t have time to compete, complain or even compare themselves with another person. We all want to have ‘a little bit more’ but really, your screaming out that you want more, until you are satisfied. But can I ask you something, how do you define more? Lol!

Maybe the problem of today is that we lack the understanding of ‘want’ and ‘need’. The things we want are mainly based on perishable goods such as make-up, facial products, accessories, however our basic needs we all share are food, clothing, shelter and money. Yes we all need money. At first I would have positioned money to be at the ‘want’ category, but in this life, we all need the finances to endure. Now I am not saying that you should go to the bank and apply for a loan, but what I am saying is that, make it a determination to be content with what you have, no matter how little it is, because it will go a long way.

Have you heard of ‘LESS IS MORE?’ Indeed it really is! Whereas ‘MORE IS LESS’ because the more you use something for example, make-up every day, the less you will have for yourself, and in turn will enable you to keep spending until you become broke. It is not every day that one needs to wear make-up. Give your skin and money a break and invest in something else. For those that have gone through skin problems in their past, I used to have so much spots on my face, you would not believe how much of a drastic difference that water and stressing less will help your skin. I would always compare myself with other people’s skin and how clear it looked, but that is due to lack of self-esteem.

What I would do to prevent the spots from occurring was to not pick them lol, cut down on fizzy drinks, and start thinking positively. So I ask you today, what is your problem? What is pulling you back from enjoying your life? Do you keep looking at what your neighbor has, not realizing what you already have is a blessing? Remember there are some people who do not have half of what you are complaining about. All we know is to cover it up with a smile. A smile may not change everything you are complaining about, but it makes such a positive impact towards your health. Do not allow the customs of the world to change who you are (Romans 12:2). Always renew your mind through His Word, and remember that what builds up in your mind, will eventually come out of your mouth.

It is truly and utterly a waste of time to compare yourself to others. Let us look at it logically. Your fingers for example, are they all the same length? No. The same way you won’t be like others around you. Trying to compare with another person is indicating that one does not have any self-worth. This will then lead to competing; so thinking that you must prove yourself better than the person you are competing with. Then when you find out that the person is better than you in some areas, you start complaining. What can complaining do? Can it change the way you are or the way God created you?

Do you really want to enjoy your life? Then learn to stop competing, comparing and complaining, and you will see your life transform. Godliness with contentment is GREAT GAIN! (1 Timothy 6:6).

#SayNoToTheThreeC’s!

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Do you know your real purpose?

I usually get this question asked in some of my group chats on WhatsApp. Me and a few ladies discuss about our purpose and what God has designed for us to fulfill. I remember talking to my work colleague recently about the future, and she asked me a very good question. She said “Esther, what do you want to be in the future?”, I replied and said I wanted to work with women and give back to the community. I stressed the importance to her that life is not just about getting rich, living a self-centred life and then dying, for what will people remember us as? When we leave this earth, how do you want people to remember you? The life you live now impacts your tomorrow!

A dear friend of mine told me about the importance of “serving”. From a worldly point of view, serving sounds belittling, however from a spiritual point of view, serving is what God requires from us. It is a way of honoring God when we serve one another. Give and it shall be given back on to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over shall men also give on to you (Luke 6:38). What is this scripture saying? It states that in all things, we must learn to share and serve others, for one day it will come back to us. Remember that God is not to be mocked; for whatever you sow, that is what you shall reap.

When speaking to God about the purpose He has for me, I enquire if certain people will be involved. I recently gave my friend some advice which states:

“When you know a person’s character, nothing will surprise you anymore about the way they act towards you, because people will always define you by how they met you initially. You just have to keep smiling and move on with your life. Do not allow these small voices to get to you; they are not contributing towards your future goals. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. Stop allowing others to ruin it for you, lest you become stressed and potentially miss the road to your blessings. You are focusing on the wrong things; rather let your thoughts and mind be on the things that are above and not beneath. As my mother always says ‘Things are subject to Change’ and indeed they are! People will change, finances will change, family will change, friends will change, society will change, but God will NEVER CHANGE!

When you truly know the purpose God has for you, your mind will not be on situations that are trying to pull you back. For all I know, some people are very anointed at breaking your happiness. They want to see you fall and never get back up, but as a strong believer of God, why would you let that get to you? Instead, if you know how it feels when someone is trying to break you, why not pray for them? They clearly need it, as well as a deep intimate encounter with God. The people who God has placed in our lives; good and bad are contributing positively towards your future. It may be hard to understand now, but in the end, it will all make sense. We always pray that God should remove toxic people in our lives and replace them with good ones, but the truth of the matter is that we will need both seeds so that we can grow an develop to trust God more rather than ourselves.

With elevation, comes change. Trials are to be expected. NEW LEVEL, NEW DEVIL! When God prepares you for elevation, TRUST THE PROCESS! 

Purpose

For I know that all things (good and bad) work out well for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). When we see our neighbor doing something bad, do we find it easier to keep quiet, gossip to someone else, or consult God straight away? I know we all encounter problems, but the way we handle it defines how successful we will become in the near future. Being successful is not easy; so many eyes are watching, ears are tingling, waiting for the day you fall. But all in all, Paul said that even though trials and tribulations come, they are going to be used for God’s purpose and will strengthen us in the end.

Your pain serves a high purpose, so why are you stressing so bad? Yes people hurt you, but we hurt God all the time, yet He is so patient with us. Rather than backbiting and hurting one another with words, why not pray for God to give you the Grace to handle your situation in a mature manner? Life won’t always be a bed of roses; it will have prickly thorns, but you can avoid them. The way you can avoid them is by changing the way you think. If you allow your mind to be robbed by people’s opinions, you will miss your purpose in life. Not everyone is going to like you, but does that mean you should change for them?

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I know how it feels because I have been there, but I can confidently say that God has strengthened me by all the things I went through with my past, and for this reason I am A LIVING TESTIMONY! No matter what someone tries to do to me, I just say ‘God take control’. No matter what happens, God will always WIN!! This is for someone! No matter what you are going through, just know that you serve a higher purpose! You are not here to pamper your emotions or entertain how you feel. Women, be strong; LOVE WHO YOU ARE! Never change for anybody but God! God will always win in all our situations. You never know what one is going through; a lot of people smile because they have been through so much, that all they can do is embrace their circumstances. Lady, keep smiling! God is on your side!

IF YOU SAW THE SIZE OF THE BLESSING COMING, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF THE BATTLE YOU ARE FIGHTING! 

Let me just leave you with a song to listen to. I hope it blesses you. No matter what you go through, people may try to plan your downfall, BUT GOD WILL ALWAYS WIN!!:

 

Be Blessed! xXx 

Purpose 2

Stop trying to do God’s job!

Nowadays, most people are so keen in dealing with their personal issues in their own power; they take matters into their own hands by retaliating back with people who have hurt them. Some assume that God has spoken to them, but in reality it is their mind that has told them what to say because they are being led by emotions. In spite of it all, we must come to a conclusion that God is the only one who is able to solve our problems.

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We all have different struggles that is having a massive affect on us today. Whether it consists of health struggles, family struggles, financial struggles, emotional struggle, it is still a struggle!

When it comes to working for God, there can be conflict between each other. Wonder what would have happened if UNITY was utilized in our day to day lives. I remember recently scrolling down on Facebook to find one of Heather Lindsey’s statuses which caught my attention. It reads:

“Many people want stages, ministries, titles and whatever else, but they refuse to stay planted anywhere long enough for God to use them. They serve in one ministry for 3 weeks, get offended and leave that church because the pastor won’t sit down and have lunch with them because he’s pulled in a million directions. They church hop, ministry hop and whatever else hop, in the hopes that someone will recognize their ‘gifts’. God truly uses those that serve as onto Him and stay planted until He moves them. And long before God gives you a ministry, you have to show yourself FAITHFUL in serving elsewhere. How can God trust you with great if you are not faithful with the little? Let God develop you, prepare you and then send you. Leaders are servants. Minister is equivalent to a Servant and they could care less about the applause and approval of man”.

In my recent blog post “Approval Addiction”, I stressed the importance of how to live a life of not worrying about what other people define you as. If your concern is focused on what people think of you, then my friend, you are not ready to move to the next level. A lot of us desire to be used by God; they want to touch lives, they want to be effective, but are not willing to do the work behind the scenes. On the other hand, we see people of today being so occupied in serving God but with the wrong mind-set. Although our sole purpose is to serve God and help others, to some extent we want to be ‘known” by those around us.

Now I do not know about you, but I strongly believe that when God equips you to do something, you have to be ready for the call. Whether people like you or not, that is not your job to sort out. Let God handle that for you, and move on. Some people become agitated when it comes to serving because they do not feel comfortable, and because they were not chosen to hold the microphone, they get offended and isolate themselves from others. Ladies, never allow anybody to make you feel small when serving God. If you have that feeling in your heart, stop what you are doing and pray. Ask God to give you wisdom to reveal what your next step should be. Trying to retaliate back with them will not help issues, and eventually make it worse because you’re so concerned in being a spectator. God’s job is for us to stand still and see the salvation of God.

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Although I stress a lot about working for God and His Kingdom, this can also be applied to our everyday lives. I had a friend who informed me about the way in which she was being treated by her own family members, and I tell you, as painful as it sounds, you do not want to believe it, because you wouldn’t expect family to let you down, but it does happen. From a Biblical perspective, look at the story of Joseph and his brothers who hated on him because of the dream Joseph told them (Genesis 37); or how about the Prodigal Son in Luke 15 where the younger brother was living recklessly, using money anyhow and living a worldly life. When the son came to himself, he ran back to his father’s house asking for forgiveness, but was his other brother happy? No, because he thought it was not fair on him that he was faithful throughout the whole situation. And I have realised that as anointed as people can be, they don’t see that they too have made mistakes in their past, and is reluctant to open up for fear of being judged. Although someone has done wrong, what right does it give you to condemn them? Because from what I know, it is very easy to seem a big beam in someone else’s eye, but not focus on the log that is in your own eye.  (Matthew 7:3-5).

Furthermore, we feel the need to justify why we are upset when someone offends us; well sweetie, it is not your job to sort people out, it is for God to do it. John 14:27 says:

“Peace I leave with you; My own peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled”.

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Sometimes, our job is to sit and let God stand. A very dear friend constantly keeps reminding me that when I stand, God will sit, but when I sit, God will stand. In other words, when you keep trying to fight your battles in your own strength, God will leave you to it, until you call upon His Name. When you have tried in your own strength to keep that relationship or friendship going, there is nothing He can do because it seems as if you know better than He does…

We should always remember to commit everything into the Lords hands as He will make it successful and prosperous. (Proverbs 16:3). Some of you may be asking ‘but what is God’s job?’ Well, God’s job is to protect you, guide you, give you peace of mind, protect you from the enemy, shower you with His blessings, and many more! Your job is not to save someone, you are not Christ. Jesus is the only person that can bring people to Himself. In as much as we desire to be used by God, we must remember that it is not by force that we change people for it is not in our power. Allow God to help you be transparent so you can reach the hearts of others. Then allow God to do the rest. A powerful saying:

“When you do your best, God will do the rest”. I stand on this word today! When you have done all you can, cried, prayed, fasted, sacrificed time for loved ones, attending church meetings, you will see the Hand of God working in your life. Some of you may be struggling with your prayer lives because it becomes too familiar and eventually you get tired and bored of it because you are not seeing any change happening. On the other hand, you have seen how your neighbor prays and God meets their needs, but when it comes to you, nothing is happening. I know how that feels, but I have come to a point where comparing with other people will get you nowhere. No matter how spiritually mature you are, or how well you can pray, God is not concerned about the length of your prayers, but the QUALITY of it. What are you asking Him to do? Are your prayers always about you and what you, or are they about being transparent?

Our prayers can be hindered, and for that reason we run to people assuming that God will speak to them to communicate to you. Sometimes, you have to do your own homework and listen to your teacher. If you need help, put up your hand, wait and listen to what the teacher is saying. If you still do not understand, keep asking until you get it. (Matthew 7:7). We can make our lives so much peaceful by not doing God’s job. He knows the end from the beginning, so just trust Him in the process. Together, we will reach our destination!

Quote: “In life, we are always going to have critics. We’ll always have difficult people who try to upset us and steal our joy. But you do not have to respond to every critic. You can decide to take the high road and let God fight your battles for you” 

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With love,

X

Do not define your Destiny by your History

Thank you everyone who consistently supports me in my blog journey. It is highly appreciated! Something that is laid on my heart for quite a while now is ‘defining your future’. Now, some of us, if we are to be sincere define our future by what we did in the past and the mistakes included towards it. We assume that our past is an indication of what our present will look like. If you were not loved at a young age, you are more likely to be less loved when you grow older; if you had a negative upbringing, you will feel anxious of trying to run a family of your own. These thoughts are not real, they are just feelings. But you can control them. 

In today’s society, we see so many people progressing through materialistic possessions, not realizing that in the end, it will be passed on to someone else. Yes we live in a world full of temptations and desires, however we shouldn’t become so addictive to the customs of the world. If you switch on the news, you will mostly hear things about killings, stabbings etc. Instagram in particular is all about how many people look at their pictures and rate them. Women may feel more confident once a person has told them how beautiful they are, because they themselves lack low-self esteem, so they assume society will make it better not knowing that everyday has its own struggles of its own. 

The thing about women is that we will look at our current situation and critically analyse ourselves by saying ‘I am not good enough’. In other words, we become neurotic over-analysers. Now, depending on the diligence of your own analysis rather than on God’s approval of you is a dangerous move. It can be said that assumptions are made through the way we think and what we hear. Your mind is one of the most important and powerful tools that can either help you to function well in all areas of your life, or bring down your self-worth and make you vulnerable and resentful. From a personal perspective, I enjoy speaking to God all the time whenever I encounter negative thoughts popping up in my head because He understands me more than I do. 

Wait on Me

“Waiting on Me means directing your attention to Me in hopeful anticipation of what I will do. It entails trusting Me with every fiber of your being instead of trying to figure things out yourself. Waiting on Me is the way I designed you to live; all day, every day. I created you to stay conscious of Me as you go about your daily duties.

I have promised MANY blessings to those who wait on Me; renewed strength, living about one’s circumstances, resurgence of hope, awareness of My continual presence. (Isaiah 40:31). Waiting on Me enables you to glorify Me by living in deep dependence on Me, ready to do My will. It also helps you to enjoy Me, for in My presence there is fullness of Joy”. 

Ladies, when you make a decision to wait on God, He will not only give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4), but He will add all other things to you (Matthew 6:33). These two scriptures are the twins of a successful destiny-filled life. Our strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord, regardless of what we are currently facing. You have to make a decision to solely rely on God for Him to inform you of what direction to take, rather than you trying to take it into your own hands and fail.

Whatever you did in the past stays in the past! A lot of women struggle with their past. Maybe you have been in past relationships where you thought the man of your dreams promised you heaven and earth, just to leave you E-M-P-T-Y. It is not easy to get over, yes I understand that. However, it does not give you any right as the Queen you are to stay in depression and become bitter. Most women are scared to be committed into another relationship for fear of being heart-broken, so every potential guy that walks up to them, they push away, not realizing it was their own reactions that made them leave. Have you been in that position before? Your emotions are controlling you, certain friends giving you advice that you know isn’t good for you, yet you took it because you were so eager…

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Despite it all, even when we rush things, He always gives us chances to fix up. Isn’t that amazing?! God is too faithful! Our God will never fail us. We all know the famous Jeremiah 29:11 scripture “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil; to give you a future and a hope”. If we can study this scripture over and over again, we are more likely to live in peace, because God has assured us of His promise that our future is secured in His hands. No more trying to solve everything in your own strength. Just sit back and let God stand in your life. 

Paul in the bible was a very intelligent man. His initial name was Saul. Saul was a dangerous man as he disliked Christians to a fact that he killed so many of them. But when God put him in a deep sleep, he had a dream, and in that dream, he saw a light and heard a voice saying “Saul, why are you persecuting me?”. (Acts 9:4). This was Jesus speaking. Since that dream, he realised the way he was living wasn’t pleasant in the Lord’s eyes. So God gave him a make-over. Eventually, he started serving God and helping those around him. The Pharisees and Jews were shocked to see his turnaround because they knew him to be cold-hearted and cruel. 

Now in life, when God is going to transition you, people will ALWAYS define you by how they met you. If you try to progress before them, they will think you are their enemy. This is why I put no trust in man because people will only like you by how they met you. If they see you going up, they don’t know you anymore. Why? Because of their selfish and manipulative ways. If you go to the book of Acts 26 (the whole chapter), you will see Paul’s defense before Agrippa. Now in Acts 25, Paul made an appeal to Caesar as he and the chief priests were planning to kill him. The Jews who found out about Paul were also accusing him and bringing many serious charges against him, but they could not prove it. 

History DESTINY

Paul was so confident in who he was, that is why he did not allow his critics to get to him. He knew his past was going to make him end up in a bad place, but thank God for his mercies. Regardless of the whippings and chains and being put into prison by the chief priests and elders, Paul stood his ground and still served the Lord. I wonder how many of us can stand when all hell is breaking loose in our lives? Do you really think it was easy for Paul to be so confident in the Lord that thousands were against him? No, not at all. The Jews always perceived him by who he was, but God will always perceive us by WHO WE ARE! Our past should not define us, and Paul refused to stay in his past, but look toward His future.

In Philippians 3:13-14 Paul said “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind me and straining forward to what lies ahead, (14) I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus”. Paul was so compassionate about serving God and spreading the gospel, that he could not afford to lose his focus on fighting back with his critics. There are times in your life where you just have to surrender all your burdens to God, and let Him handle the situation.

I do not know what you are going through; it could be money issues, health issues, job issues or what other people think of you. But remind yourself that all these are FEARS that keep you from doing what God wants. Your problems and concerns should draw you closer to God and enable you to pray more. Yes you may not have got the job that your friend received, but should you allow that to define who you are? This is just a temporary feeling. Ladies, YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR FEELINGS! Please do not limit yourself by where you started. Define yourself by how you finish. 

History Destiny

When Jesus was hanging on the Cross, His last words were “It is finished!”. So I must encourage you all that whatever you may be passing through, Jesus has solved it for you!!! Money problems; Jesus has got it. Health problems; Jesus has got it. Family problems; Jesus has got it. No where to stay; Jesus has got it! When you continue to confess with your mouth that Jesus has all your problems, that is when you can start enjoying the life God has destined you to have! Your destiny is bright! I say to you to NEVER DESPISE THE DAY OF SMALL BEGINNINGS! You may start small, but you will end big if you do not give up. 

Your haters, your critics, your comrades are all helping you, so don’t push them away! The greater the conflict, the greater the blessing! Some people tremble when they find out people do not like them, Now I have surpassed that and I laugh even harder when it happens because I know if someone wants to fight me, then they are going to have to go through God first to get to me! So I encourage you all beautiful women of God to not allow your current situation to define you. You have so much potential in you. Be patient and let God work through you to birth out something great. He can only do this until you learn to surrender and wait on Him. Your past is gone, your future is pending. You are currently in the process. Don’t spoil it by rushing to get to your destination, enjoy the process, you will learn a thing or two :).

YOUR PAST IS GONE SO DO NOT ENTERTAIN IT AND DON’T ALLOW OTHERS TO DO THE SAME! 

xXx  

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