In relation to my previous post on ‘Isolation’ I spoke about what it is and why it happens to some of us. Now I am going to dig deeper into the people who are surrounded in your life. The environment you are in is more likely to define you whether you choose to understand it or not. If you choose good friends who will feed you spiritually and is full of wisdom, you are more likely to succeed and prosper; however if you follow the crowd just to fit in or to be appreciated by someone, you are more likely to lose yourself in knowing who you really are. It is important that we can distinguish the two in order to know where we stand as individuals.
In Luke 22, we see that Judas was one of Jesus’ closest friends. Because of the attention that Jesus got from the crowd, the Chief Priests gathered in their own corner discussing how to get rid of Jesus. Instead, Judas discussed with the Chief Priests that the only way they could get rid of Jesus is if they could give him money. Indeed, they did. When there was no crowd present, the Chief Priests had the opportunity to seize Jesus and take Him away. Imagine someone you knew, who was very close to you, the person you laugh with, go to school with, attend the same church with, eat together in restaurants; the pain of that friend betraying you for something insignificant. It’s like the person does not know your worth, and was just using you for the fun of it.
Have you ever had those friends that knew you were good at something, and just used you for it? Maybe you are intelligent in Maths, and you have a close friend who isn’t. All of a sudden, this friend starts draining you by taking your notes and answers. Just to find out that when the friend has achieved the grade they wanted, they leave you. Has it ever occurred to you that people only want to rejoice with you when your up, but when your down, they are nowhere to be seen. You will be shocked at the amount of people who are in your life to get something from you and leave you in a minute because human beings can be very manipulative. The amount of people who will un-follow you on Twitter and Instagram because of what they ‘heard’ is shocking!
In reference to Luke 22, I love the fact that Jesus knew who Judas really was and how he had already betrayed Him. Because of the guilt, Judas gave the money back to the Chief Priests and eventually hanged himself. How many of us knows our betrayers? It’s a scary thing to even think about, because you would not expect someone so close to you to let you down. But that is life! This is why in these circumstances, we must gain strength from God and consistently seek Him for divine wisdom and revelation. I remember being in a girls click when I was thirteen, and up to now, I only speak to one of them; out of five girls! Some people are only in your life for a season. Don’t try to make them stay. If they want to walk out of your life, LET THEM WALK, because your destiny is not tied to theirs! God won’t allow you to go where they are going because He has a different path for you to take.
Our minds are so occupied on how to make someone like us. Yes it is good to win favor, to be acknowledged and appreciated, but doing it with wrong motives won’t get you there. For example, being in a place where your friend is draining you spiritually can have such a negative impact on your own relationship with God. When you are not stable, your other relationships won’t be stable too. Some people have got amazing personalities; they smile, they encourage, they uplift, but when a friend does not have that kind of heart, it starts to attract envy which clearly does not get them anywhere. We must understand that our pain serves a purpose. We are not here to make enemies, but we should be wearing the full armor of God to fight the negative spirits that dwell in high places.
At the same time, I am not implying that it isn’t good to have friends, it is good! In order to enjoy what God has for you, you cannot afford to be against your friends, because I strongly believe in life, we need people. People help us get to the next level. In fact, you need a bit of both, good friends and bad friends; the haters and the lovers. They are the secret twins that will enable us to elevate to the next level in your life. This is why we see in the Bible that Jesus Himself had so many haters. What did he do? Nothing. Because He was so well-known and loved by so many, certain people did not like it. It can be confusing, but I know deep down in my heart that your tears serve a purpose; your confusion serves a purpose; the way people treat you serves a purpose. What you are going through is not a mistake, but it will HELP someone who is in your life. Some people need to realise that when they go through certain situations, they must get to an understanding that someone has already been where they are. You cannot afford to surround yourself that puts you down, it will drain you. You need to be around positive vibes as it will not help you. Not everyone was created to be for you! You will be surprised at the amount of people you knew relative to the people you know now, because things happen, life changes, people get hurt, you meet new people, you move to another country; it’s all a part of the growth process.
It is not a coincidence that you are hurting right now. I say endure the pain and do it any way! You must be yourself and only yourself! If you pretend to be fine when you are not, you are honestly deceiving yourself. When someone has upset you, be willing to open up, but do it constructively with a loving and tender heart. On the other hand, there are times where SILENCE IS THE BEST ANSWER! You won’t even have to say anything, but let the other person meditate. It can be difficult to love someone who is draining you I can’t deny that feeling! It took me quite a while to let go of a friend that was cutting me deep. It was like I was being suffocated by someone I really loved.
Most times the reasons why we go through painful situations is because God is trying to get our attention. If we ha the perfect friendships and relationships, would we still endeavour to seek God first? Do you think He will be your first priority? It’s a struggle for most of us, including myself because at times, it is very easy for me to confide in a close friend more than God, which should not be the case. Because the person is there physically, we can quickly talk to them, but God Himself. Be encouraged because you are not alone in this! We all need a friend, but God sticks closer than a brother!
This may be a bit too strong for some people but it has to be said: “Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships” (Proverbs 16:28). Be careful who you express yourself to, because not everyone is for you. This is what Jesus had to go through Himself!
Love you and God bless!