Why do I feel the way I feel?

Do you question the way you feel at times? It seems as if you assume you know your life. You think you won’t make it because you have been unemployed for quite a while, or you see someone who looks more successful than you. So you crawl back into self-pity and resentment. Has it ever occurred to you that what you think about yourself is what people will see you as?

I sit in my room thinking about my life, where I will be in the next few years, why I haven’t received what I desired in my time. But all these thoughts can’t change anything. We must learn to reposition ourselves and be able to identify our strengths and build them up, and work towards our weaknesses. As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. That is what you call GOD’S WILL!

What causes you to feel the way you feel though? Is it friends? Is it family? Is it societal pressure? What is the meaning behind the way you feel? Not only that, what is the meaning behind the way you THINK? Because it says in Luke 6:45 “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks”. In other words, what you say to yourself in your heart will be revealed through your tongue. It is vital to speak positive AT ALL TIMES! You do not know who is watching you. Positive thinking goes a very long way! It can break chains of pain, struggles, anxiety, stress and other types of challenges we go through.

I read my word for you today and it said this:

“First you crawled; then you learned to walk and the world grew bigger. Then you rode a bike, drove a car, bought a plane ticket. Suddenly the horizons were limitless. Then doubts crept in”. Sometimes when we try to aim high, doubt and fear can affect us:

  • “When I reach 25 I will be engaged” – (But it didn’t happen)
  • “Once I get my degree I will be working for the best financial company in the UK” (Your still in the process of finding a job)
  • “I am so excited to get my house next week” (They called to tell you that it has been taken by someone else)
  • “Found a car online that I am going to get today!” (Your money has to go on rent first!)

I can give so many examples of the things we are going through, if not at present. It can be so painful the things we go through and not tell anyone about it. It is vital to speak out to someone you trust and believe can help you to move on. But my REAL QUESTION to you is when problems are surrounding you, do you remember God at all? Do you try to handle it yourself, rather than seeking His face first? Do you tend to get advice from people you hardly know because they way they ‘sound’ convinces you that they will give you what you desire? Look, I have been there, and nothing has changed! Speaking to God before anyone is important! This is why you feel the way you feel. If you feel miserable, depressed, resentful or even lonely, it’s because you haven’t spoken to God at all. You haven’t prayed about the situation. You have been complaining all along.

Motivational speaker Heather Lindsey says “Everything you’re feeling doesn’t need to be addressed. Share your issues with Jesus before humans and He will show you what to address”. I couldn’t have said it any better! When we share our problems with Jesus, He will direct us to the people He desires for us to share with. It also interlinks with the way we feel also. When we are so desperate for a solution, we will do the most craziest things just to get out, not realizing that you are still in the same position you found yourself.

Stop, think, ACT! Ensure that what you are feeling is going to help you get to the next level. If you keep feeling you can’t make it, you probably won’t. There are people out there that what you are complaining about, they can do so much better. Why because they have the instinct! Not only that, their thoughts towards it are good. When we get a task, whether at work, church, university, social events, it’s the way we think about it that enables us to produce good results. In other words “You cannot pray for an A on a test and study for a B. You cannot pray for a faithful relationship and still live an unfaithful life. Moral of the story is that you cannot pray for something and act less. Don’t question my God and His abilities when your actions don’t match your prayers.” 

What you feel, only you can control it. Be careful what you let in your mind because what you think about is what defines you. People’s opinions don’t define you, it’s what you say about yourself that defines you! If you know anyone that is struggling with their feelings, please do pass this message on to them, and remember to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you trust God. Even if you have to remind yourself 100 times a day!

Your worst battle is between what you “know” and what you “feel”. No matter what you know, you have the power to control your thoughts. If someone was to say a negative word to you, how would you take it? You should already know who you are in the Lord. Its only WEAK people who wants to revenge, but God will repay them back. So why entertain your feelings over a temporary situation? Be wise with your thinking ladies, and control your feelings before they control you.





This week, I was informed by two women that a loved one had passed away due to cancer. I was in shock because it is still just the beginning of a brand new year, and to hear such news as this was disheartening. To me, I just felt the need to encourage and support these women as it is a hard situation. I allowed myself to be me in the process and to let them know that they are not alone, and that they have all the support they need. Sometimes one of the hardest things Christians face is being ‘real’. It can be embarrassing to some, yet intimidating because when you are surrounded with unbelievers, it feels that you need to be exactly like them just to fit in. But we are reminded to always stand out. Although we are in the world, we are not of the world.


So what is transparency? Transparency is based on your individual character and how you portray it towards other people. In other words, it’s about being the real you regardless of what comes your way. You could be in a position where you find it difficult to share the Gospel to a friend, because you are afraid of what they will think of you. You may be afraid to let others know who you are. I remember someone telling me that you don’t always need to shout ‘I am a Christian’, because your attitude and lifestyle should be evident to those you are helping. Most people should know that you are a Christian through the way you speak, the things you do, and the way you relate to people.


Don’t deny your feelings – Feelings on the other hand can result to us not being transparent because they tend to have a strong grip on us if we are not careful. It can lead to self-pity, condemnation or anxiety. However, there is nothing wrong with feelings per se. Feelings are simply our emotional reactions to certain events or thoughts. Feelings can either be pleasant or unpleasant. Emotions filled the Psalms. For example, when Jesus wept in John 11:35-36. Ephesians 4:26 acknowledges anger as a valid emotion; it doesn’t say, “Don’t be angry because anger is a sin.” The issue is what we do when we are angry. We can be human and Christian at the same time. My question to you is, can you truly be transparent as a Christian and still be angry? It would be a challenge for some because if you are led by your emotions, you may say some things that should have not been said at all.


Another example was when Jesus was praying to God in Luke 22:42 it says “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me, yet not My will, but always Yours be done”. Jesus Himself was being transparent because He acknowledged His feelings and portrayed an honest request not to go through the Crucifixion. Jesus knew that He was facing not only the agony of crucifixion but also the trauma of taking on the sins of the world upon His sinless self, and being separated from the Father. At the same time, Jesus did not deny the Father. He said, “Let your will be done” in Matthew 26:42. So we can see here that not only did He deny His feelings, He was open to the fact that He knew what was ahead of Him, and the suffering that He would have to endure, however the statement in Matthew 26:42 clearly states that the decision is given to God Himself. Whatever God tells Him to do, that is what He will do. This is what we as believers should remember. When God is speaking to us, we should not harden our hearts, but we should willingly and openly obey the Father to whatever He desires us to do.

Through transparency, we can build close relationships with other people, and be honest. I believe everyone deserves honesty not only in a relationship, but in friendships, at work, at social events etc. For example, if your manager was to give you a task, you would you want to work effectively to boost your performance. However, it would be highly appreciated if you received some feedback based on your performance, to see what you can do to improve for next time. If we do not take the time to adhere to the necessary feedback given to us, how can we excel in our lives? We can’t expect to be better than yesterday if we don’t comply with feedback.

I believe that transparency with God is the foundation for inter-personal transparency. If we cannot tell God what is on our minds and hearts then how can we do the same with another people? God knows all about us and yet accepts us just as we are (Romans 5:8). It us very vital that we are being honest with the Father, and telling Him what is really on our minds. We must also be able to understand other people without being judgmental. Being able to tell a friend the truth about what you are really going through will make that person respect you the more because you have made a decision not to cover it up, but reveal it. A really good way to start opening up to people is by having small group chats with people you know you can trust, or even with family members. Should a leader publicize every secret she’s ever shared with God? No. Should she divulge every private sin that has ever entangled her? Of course not! Be discreet in what you say. Do not feel you have to show all your failings to the group.


Modelling Transparency

  • When we are honest in our prayer requests, others feel safer revealing their burdens.
  • When we tell stories about something that happened in our life, that truth is more likely to penetrate their hearts, not just their heads.
  • When our disclosures suggest that we are not self-sufficient and that we need to lean on Christ and other believers, people are less likely to live independently and more likely to seek the help that they need.


The Benefits of Being a Transparent Leader

  • Your transparency will enhance your relationship with group members and facilitate more one-on-one ministry with them. Your group members will view you as approachable and feel safer talking to you about needs they might not want to reveal to the entire group.
  • Your transparency will develop a deeper level of sharing among group members. They will be less superficial because you have set the pace. They will not feel alone or like a second-class Christian because their leader has already demonstrated authenticity.


So as a result, we can see that transparency is vital not just for ourselves, but for other people who are surrounded by us. It is critical that we know when to speak, and when not to speak, but the main focus is to be real and take off the mask that is covering the truth. Being transparent requires a level of openness to comfort and bear one another’s burdens, to forgive one another, and to care for one another. Remember that TRANSPARENCY IS THE KEY TO INTIMACY WITH GOD. Transparency is the new truth and is removing the mask to reveal who you really are. It is getting beyond the surface to what is really going on in your heart. A lack of transparency on the other hand results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.



Renew your Faith!

I would like to speak about the word ‘Faith’. So far these few days have been amazing for me. I have realised that I have everything I need, and the things I desired before isn’t much of a problem now. What I did realise is that a few of my friends have been feeling down. They spoke to me about it and I gave them sound advice. It seemed that their faith was low. Sometimes in life, when a friend feels down, it isn’t just about telling them ‘its going to be alright’, but using your own situation to encourage them as well.

There is a saying that goes ‘YOU ARE NOT ALONE’ and it is true! No one is ever alone in this life! You may feel your own situation is worse than your neighbor, but you would be surprised! If everyone you know was to be honest and open about how they are feeling, it would shock you. The things that people are going through behind closed doors will make you question your thoughts. “What if my life was like hers?” That could be a question that could spring to mind. We need to understand that there is power in sharing burdens and pain.


In Galatians 6:2 it says “Bear, endure and carry one another’s burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ and complete what is lacking in your obedience to it”.


In other words, we should be there for one another; sympathizing and encouraging. We should also use it as an opportunity to check ourselves and see if there is any fault in us that we can take correction. The best way to prevent worry and anxiety in your life is to take care of others. I know it may seem uncomfortable, because we as human assume we must take care of ourselves first, which is to some extent true, but we can see in the Bible that Jesus Himself took care of more people than Himself. He was humble enough to wash the feet of His disciples and put their needs first. This is what we must do. When doing these things, unexpected blessings happen, and eventually your Faith levels will continue to increase!

Faith isn’t just used when things are going good in your life; it’s also for times where the days feel so dark, lonely, lost, isolated. We need Faith in order to survive in this world. The world cannot give you full satisfaction, but when we have Faith in a God we cannot see, but believe He is right beside us, then He will be happy. In Hebrews 11:6 it says that “But without Faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must necessarily believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him”. So we can see that when our Faith is in Him, He allows all blessings to come our way. The best thing about God is that He knows what to give you and at the right time, but its us that prevents them from happening. Why? Because our Faith is not strong. We must constantly renew our Faith daily, so when the enemy comes to deceive and manipulate us, we know that Faith is what will make the enemy flee.


I can decide to moan that I don’t have much, but its whether I choose to stay that way or not that determines my Faith. Faith is believing in the things that you cannot see, but you know it is there (Hebrews 11:1). From a worldly perspective, they perceive faith as “Seeing is believing”, but for us as women of God, WE LIVE BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT!! Greater is He than is in Me than he that is in the world! (1 John 4:4).


We must remember as true believers that we are not of this world, although we are in it. We cannot be mixed with the tactics of the world, for they are only temporary. Our Faith must also be aligned to the Will of God. Do you know your purpose for this year 2015? If you don’t know, start speaking to God. He will show you what you need to do! When a problem occurs, I know it is easy to run to the phone, but why not run to the throne instead? I have been there in my past where I have confided in people and I still feel nothing has changed, but as drew closer to Jesus, He gave me the reassurance that He has everything under control. All I had to do was rest in His arms. Even though we have Faith as small as a mustard seed, it will be evident to us and others that God’s hand is in every situation we face. It could be preparing for a job interview, preparing for a driving test, financial increased, seeking to get married, going to university;  all these things and more can be met with just a little bit of Faith!

Faith 2015

You may not necessarily have great Faith straight away, because I know it doesn’t happen overnight, but even if you have 10% of Faith, you will see a 10% answer. I strongly believe and have experienced that the more Faith you have, the more you will see God’s power in your life. But other times, God can be SO GENEROUS that He doubles your blessing regardless of how much Faith you had in Him initially. Why? Because He is a merciful God. So I urge you all queens of the most high to renew your Faith! Examine your Faith level and be real with God. If you are slacking, let Him know; pour out your heart to Him for He will answer. God knows what stage you are right now, it isn’t a surprise. Whatever situation you are in now, just know that YOU ARE COMING OUT OF IT! 

#Faith is an aspect of our everyday lives!

#Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to!

2015 2


Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! Wow another year, another opportunity! Just want to remind us all that we all have a purpose that we must fulfill, but before I get into that, I ask us to all meditate on this scripture; it could be your scripture for this year, it could be your scripture for this month. Just let it speak to you:


Isaiah 43:19: “Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert”.


BEHOLD means: see, observe, watch, inspect. God is saying just watch me.

God said HE WILL DO: What God is saying will come to pass. God’s word does not return to Him void. So when God says He will do something, no one on earth can stop Him, because all Power in Heaven and on earth belongs to Jesus. God’s promises and He does what He says.

SOMETHING NEW: God will do something you have never seen before! And when God is saying this, we should be excited because it will be something we never imagined! Something extraordinary. Something supernatural. Something breathtaking! This is God Almighty speaking, The I am that I am.

God said IT SHALL: Not it may or might. Shall means expressing a strong assertion or intention. God is strongly insisting, letting you know that His promises, your dreams, prophecies, breakthroughs shall happen!

SPRING: This means to rise, act suddenly or swiftly. It will happen. Nothing can stop it.

FOURTH: This means out and away from the starting point. God is saying there shall be a SUDDEN CHANGE or turnaround from where you are at. There shall be a sudden shift or movement.

SHALL YOU NOT KNOW IT?: You will see it with your very own eyes. You should believe deeply without a doubt. Do you not know? There is no question about it, it will happen! Don’t you know that it shall happen? God is involving us in the conversation; He is making us understand that He wants us to agree with our turnaround as it shall happen.

I WILL EVEN MAKE A ROAD WAY IN THE WILDERNESS: The wilderness is busy and route-less, but God said He will make a way out of the mess, the difficulty, the hard times. He is the one who made a way in the Jordan River. So be strong in the Lord and the Power of His Mighty Hand. Our God is Mighty beyond words! He will surely make a way, so do not worry how or where, or when. He said He will do it!

A RIVER IN THE DESERT: Desert we all know is a barren area; a place that is deserted. Where there is very limited resources for survival of things. RIVER means overflow of water. God will make a river in the desert, which means He will bring life into that deserted situation; something extraordinary will come out of the situation. It is the water that is needed in the desert for life to occur. Where there is water, plants can grow and humans can survive. Therefore when God is saying He will make a river in the desert, He means He will not just bring life to your situations, but there will be an OVERFLOW because the river will cause life all around you.


Just to encourage you all this year that no matter the trials, the tears, the frustration that will happen this year, just know that God will bring you out!! Remember: “After you have suffered for a while, I will establish you and make you perfect”. 1 Peter 5:10. Our pain is an indication that our success will be greater!! So keep the Faith and keep working towards your dreams, goals and purposes!